Don't Panic! Lighten Up!S


Bizarro Earth

Blind driver busted again in Estonia


RIA Novosti
Tue, 29 Apr 2008 15:27 UTC
Traffic police in the southern Estonian city of Tartu have again caught a notorious blind and drunk driver, the local police press service said on Tuesday.

Kristjan Gradolf, 20, became a real headache for the city's traffic cops last year after he was caught behind the wheel three times and even hefty fines and five days behind bars did not put him off driving. This time he will face criminal charges as a repeat offender.
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Bizarro Earth

Chili eating Indian sisters become famous


RIA Novosti
Tue, 29 Apr 2008 15:19 UTC
Two sisters from a small village in eastern India have gained fame for their ability to eat over a pound of chilies at a time, the Indo-Asian News Service (IANS) said on Tuesday.

Eighteen month old Tuni and her three-year-old sister Punita began eating chilies "like berries" while helping out on the family farm. At first, they ate from 20 to 50 chilies a day, but later the number increased.
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Question

UK: Brazen broccoli bandit strikes four times in a week... to steal a single head from the prized vegetable

Luke Salkeld
The Daily Mail
Sun, 27 Apr 2008 14:16 UTC
It is said a criminal should never return to the scene of the crime - but no one seems to have told the brazen broccoli burglar of King's Somborne.

Four times in the last two weeks he has struck at Frank Fahy's vegetable patch.

On each occasion he has cut through protective netting and pinched a single head of broccoli.

The serial thieving is driving Mr Fahy, a 71-year-old retired professor, to distraction - not least because his efforts to deter the culprit have been fruitless.
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Telephone

Now Australia has more cell phones than people


business.techwhack.com
Tue, 29 Apr 2008 09:39 UTC
Australia has become the latest country where there are more mobile subscribers compared to people.
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Bulb

Wetsuit warms up balding penguin


The Telegraph
Mon, 28 Apr 2008 17:00 UTC
A balding penguin has been given a new lease of life after scientists created a specially-made wetsuit to keep him warm.

Biologists at the California Academy of Sciences noticed that the African penguin, named Pierre, stopped plunging into the cold water of his tank when he began to lose his feathers.

Image
©AP
Pam Schaller checks the fit in Pierre the penguin's custom wetsuit
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Wine

Scotland loses "best whisky in world" title to Japan


The Sunday Times
Sun, 27 Apr 2008 15:56 UTC
Yoichi 20, distilled on Hokkaido, is the first single malt outside Scotland to win Whisky Magazine's top award.

Like English wine, it has suffered from the taint of inauthenticity and has been the butt of condescending jokes. But now Japanese whisky has scotched its critics by being voted the best in the world, ahead of its Scottish rivals.

Yoichi 20-year-old, distilled on the shores of the Sea of Japan, has become the first variety produced outside Scotland to win the coveted single malt award in an international competition run by Whisky Magazine, the industry bible.

The whisky, distilled near Sapporo city, on the northern Japanese island of Hokkaido, beat dozens of other varieties, including last year's winner, Talisker 18-year-old, produced on the Isle of Skye.
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War Whore

Flashback Retired Gen. George Washington Criticizes Bush's Handling Of Iraq War


The Onion
Wed, 06 Jun 2007 00:00 UTC
Washington, D.C. - Breaking a 211-year media silence, retired Army Gen. George Washington appeared on NBC's Meet the Press Sunday to speak out against many aspects of the way the Iraq war has been waged.

Washington on Meet the Press
©The Onion
Washington likens Vice President Cheney to controversial British Chancellor of the Exchequer and Stamp Act architect George Greenville.
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Bizarro Earth

Bling Lear: Shakespeare meets Ali G in new chavs' guide to the Bard

Rebecca Camber
The Daily Mail
Thu, 24 Apr 2008 09:30 UTC
Dere was somefing minging in de State of Denmark - or so the classic tale goes.

You don't recognise it? Get with de programme, that's the opening scene of 'Amlet, a play by some writer dude called Shakespeare.

Written in chav-speak, for the 'yoof' generation, the latest translation of the Bard's works may leave the traditionalists at a loss for, er, words.

But satirical writer Martin Baum is convinced that the 15 plays have lost none of their appeal in his abridged version, which is based on the sort of 'street' language used by TV comedy characters such as Sacha Baron Cohen's Ali G, and the obnoxious schoolgirl Lauren, from the BBC's The Catherine Tate Show.

Image
©Unknown
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Smiley

Bill Clinton & Gloria Arroyo: Scandal Duo of the Class of '68

Benjamin Pimentel
Global Nation
Fri, 25 Apr 2008 06:41 UTC
If it were not for other pressing matters, Bill Clinton and Gloria Arroyo would probably be looking forward to what could be a fun and important event: Their college reunion.

This year is the 40th anniversary of Georgetown University's Class of 1968. The class homecoming at the oldest and most prestigious Catholic, and Jesuit, university in the United States kicks off late May. But as of last week the list of expected attendees does not mention either Clinton or Arroyo.
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Briefcase

After losing job, ex-mayor in dognap scandal loses the dog

Christopher Sherman
Associated Press
Thu, 24 Apr 2008 06:20 UTC
McAllen, Texas - A custody case that wrecked a small-town south Texas mayor's political career ended Thursday when she was ordered to return a Shih Tzu to her neighbors.

Grace Saenz-Lopez, the former mayor of Alice, had claimed Puddles died last year while she was pet-sitting for the neighbors. Three months later, however, a relative of the neighbors saw the dog, renamed Panchito, at a grooming business.
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