Don't Panic! Lighten Up!S


Smiley

Chinese couple tried to name baby "@"

A Chinese couple tried to name their baby "@", claiming the character used in e-mail addresses echoed their love for the child, an official trying to whip the national language into line said on Thursday.

The unusual name stands out especially in Chinese, which has no alphabet and instead uses tens of thousands of multi-stroke characters to represent words.

"The whole world uses it to write e-mail, and translated into Chinese it means 'love him'," the father explained, according to the deputy chief of the State Language Commission Li Yuming.

Bulb

Man Arrested After Trying to Rob a Nun

MADISON, Wis. - A would-be thief came up empty-handed after trying to rob a nun who had taken a vow of poverty. Madison police arrested the man later in the day. They gave the following account:

Life Preserver

Viking ship arrives in Ireland

A reconstructed 11th century Viking longship has arrived in the Irish capital Dublin after 44 days at sea and with only sails and oars as power.

The Havhingsten fra Glendalough (The Sea Stallion from Glendalough) is the largest Viking warship ever rebuilt and its 65 crew were welcomed by a large crowd when they disembarked at Custom House quay in central Dublin.

Its sedate arrival up the River Liffey was shown live on the Internet and Irish state television.

Smiley

Monkey apparently picks lock, escapes again

A monkey that freed himself two weeks ago from a Mississippi zoo has escaped again, zoo officials said. Tupelo Buffalo Park and Zoo Manager Kirk Nemecheck and other employees noticed the white-faced capuchin's cage open and lock on the ground around 8:30 a.m. Monday.

Oliver and another capuchin named Baby were found wandering nearby. Workers easily captured Baby, but Oliver fled the park headed in the direction of the Tupelo Country Club, Nemecheck said.

Comment: Unlike most Americans, the monkey has become aware that he lives in a prison and is doing his best to escape.


Smiley

Man Pays Big Tax Bill in Coins, $1 Bills

MUNCIE, Ind. - Cary Malchow was so upset by his property tax bill he decided to make a scene by paying it _ all $12,656.07 _ with bags of change and $1 bills.

Arrow Down

Italian town to pay residents to shed flab

Overweight residents of an Italian town will be paid to lose weight, the mayor said on Monday.

Men living in the northwestern Italian town of Varallo will receive 50 euros ($70) for losing 4 kg (9 pounds) in a month, Mayor Gianluca Buonanno said. Women will get the same amount for shedding 3 kg (7 pounds).

If they can keep the weight off for 5 months, they will get another 200 euros ($280), he told Reuters.

No Entry

But Officer, I really didn't see the stop sign - Blind driver caught again

An Estonian man who was caught driving a car even though he is blind has been at it again, police said on Monday, and this time he faces jail.

Bizarro Earth

UK: Fine threat over T-shirt slogan

A man spotted wearing a T-shirt bearing an "offensive" slogan in a city centre has been warned he risks an £80 fine if he is caught again.

Forklift driver David Pratt was told by street wardens in Peterborough he could cause offence or incite violence.

The slogan on the garment read: "Don't piss me off! I am running out of places to hide the bodies."

Magic Wand

Woman Finds "GOD" in Eggplant

A Delaware County woman says an eggplant has reminded her that God can be found anywhere, and anytime.

Felicia Teske of Boothwyn says she was preparing fried eggplant for dinner Sunday evening and noticed that the seeds in one slice seemed to spell out the word "GOD".

©Unknown

Magic Hat

Fred, Fred, Fred: Thompson's Challenge Has a Name

In the swampy soup of hopefuls for the 2008 presidential election, there is a man with a funny name. (No, not that one.)

We're thinking of the one named Fred (Thompson).

Say it out loud. Do it. Fred. Fred. In the South, Fray-ud.

Fur-red-duh.

It has the tonal quality of something being dropped on the floor, something heavy and damp-ish.

Waterlogged paper towel.

Fred.