Don't Panic! Lighten Up!S


Bizarro Earth

Three hurt as squirrel goes nuts

An unusually aggressive squirrel attacked three people in a German town before its last victim finished it off with a crutch, police said Wednesday.

The rodent jumped through a living-room window in Passau, on the Austrian border, on Tuesday and bit its first victim. With the squirrel hanging on by its teeth, the woman ran out into the street, where she managed to shake the animal off.

The squirrel then bit a builder before fleeing into a nearby garden, where it bit a 72-year-old man who eventually killed it with his crutch, police said.

The dead animal was to be tested for rabies.

Wolf

Elderly care home for dogs to open in Japan

Japan's first elderly care home for dogs is set to open this week, tapping into a growing market as the problem of ageing spreads from humans to the pet population.

Saradi Corp. will accommodate up to 20 dogs at a facility set up in cooperation with a veterinary surgeon in the resort area of Nasu, north of Tokyo, Chief Executive Nana Uchida said on Thursday.

A veterinarian will be on call 24 hours a day and the dogs will have the opportunity to exercise, eat natural foods and mix with younger dogs to maintain their vitality, the company said in a statement.

Sheeple

Hawk, Escaped Lamb Roam NYC Streets



©AP Photo/Kathy Willens
"Lucky Lady," a seven month-old lamb found wandering around in the Bronx, poses for a portrait

NEW YORK - A hawk down in midtown Manhattan? Another bird of prey grounded across town? A lamb on the lam in the Bronx? True. All in one day. The series of animal adventures began around 10 a.m. Wednesday when a former parks commissioner reported spotting a hawk that had crash landed. At about 11:30 a.m., several blocks away, came a report of another wounded bird, this time an American kestrel.

Wolf

Dog Helps Save Foal From Abandoned Well

BANGOR, Maine - It could have been a scene straight out of "Lassie." Kurt Smith was working in the yard at his horse boarding and breeding facility Monday when Molly, his border collie, came running and barking, signaling that something was amiss.

Heart

13-year-old boy breaks vow of silence after 10 years

Ten years ago Ben Grocock told his mother that if she made him have an operation to remove his tonsils he would never speak again.

And, after coming round from the anaesthetic following surgery, the boy steadfastly stuck to his word - until now.

Ben Grocock, now aged 13, has barely uttered a word throughout most of his life, following the promise he made when he was just three years old.

For a decade he only communicated with his family, friends and teachers with scrawled notes and actions.

Now he has finally broken his self-imposed silence - thanks to a love of fire engines.

Clock

Five-second rule for dropped food? Try 30

A man drops a brownie on the floor. If he picks it up within five seconds, should he still eat it? Two U.S. students claim the answer is yes.

In fact, they say he could wait half a minute.

The students, who are seniors at Connecticut College, studied the five-second rule as part of their microbiology class.

Bizarro Earth

Russian "Ninja" robs Italian villagers at arrow-point

A 31-year-old Russian national has been arrested for attacking and robbing Italian villagers in a province in northeast Italy, dressed head to toe in black and wielding a bow and arrow, Italian police said.

According to police, Igor Vaclavic would dress up in a Ninja outfit come nightfall, don a mask and arm himself with a bow and arrow before setting out for isolated farms near the town of Rovigo.

Having picked out a target, the "Ninja" bandit would attack the owners, threatening to shoot everyone with his medieval weapon and demanding gold, jewelry and money.

Reports of the raids so panicked the district that villagers would barricade themselves inside their farms at night, although that did not save some of them. Vaclavic would reportedly smash windows with a volley of arrows, and break in letting out blood-curdling yells.

Magic Wand

U.S. cartoon satire about Bush to premiere on television

The popular American television channel Comedy Central announced the release Wednesday of an animated satirical show portraying President George W. Bush and his inner circle as a band of mischievous kids.

Lil' Bush relates the fictitious adventures of the current U.S. president, featuring him as a schoolboy, but is set in the real political context of today, except that in the movie, the nation's incumbent Chief Executive is his father, George Bush Sr.

The title character, Lil' George Bush, resides in the White House with his mom and dad and makes mischief with school buddies Lil' Condi, Lil' Cheney, and Lil' Rummy - characters inspired by Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, Vice President Dick Cheney and former Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld.

Wolf

12 animals escape from zoo in Berlin, join rush-hour traffic

Berlin commuters on Wednesday found themselves sharing the road with escapees from a local zoo - six horses, three camels, two goats and a llama.

Heart

'Cute Knut' Raking in Cash at Berlin Zoo

"Cute Knut," Germany's celebrity polar bear cub, is turning into a moneymaker for the Berlin Zoo, which expects to bring in $3.3 million more than last year due to a dramatic rise in visitors.

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