Don't Panic! Lighten Up!S


Bizarro Earth

President conducts his own exit to 'Stars and Stripes'

JoAnn Falletta was doing what a conductor should - concentrating on the orchestra in front of her. No wonder it took her a few seconds on Sunday to realize someone behind her was motioning for a try.

President Bush.


"Smiling at me kind of devilishly,"
Falletta said.

She gave him her baton and stepped aside.

Gesturing exuberantly, the president led the orchestra during part of its performance of "Stars and Stripes Forever."

"We didn't expect him to know the score so well," Falletta said afterward. "He was not shy about conducting at all. He conducted with a great deal of panache."

That was the music played for Bush's exit after his speech at a ceremony commemorating the founding 400 years ago of Jamestown, America's first permanent English settlement.

Comment: Shocking is an understatement.


Bizarro Earth

Sea Lion Joins Walk-A-Thon in Calif.

CORTE MADERA, Calif. - He has flippers instead of feet _ and certainly no sneakers or hiking boots. But that didn't stop a sea lion from joining schoolchildren on a walk-a-thon.

Wine

Mixing work with pleasure: Beer helps scientists find landmines

Biotechnologists have genetically engineered brewer's yeast to glow green in response to an ingredient found in landmines, a new study shows.

The study, published today online in the journal Nature Chemical Biology, shows the yeast can detect, or smell, airborne particles from explosives.

The scientists engineered the yeast Saccharomyces cerevisiae to sense molecules of the chemical DNT, or dinitrotoluene.

DNT is left over after making the explosive TNT, or trinitroluene. And dogs trained to sniff for explosives are believed in fact to be trained to detect DNT.

Take 2

Serbia's "Prayer" wins Eurovision Song Contest

HELSINKI - Serbia's Marija Serifovic won the Eurovision Song Contest on Saturday, beating competitors from 23 other countries in a three-hour televised mishmash of power ballads, ethnic rhythms, and bubble-gum pop.

Bizarro Earth

German court denies bald men state-funded wigs

Bald men in Germany have no right to state-funded wigs, according to a new court ruling.

A court in the south-western state of Rhineland-Palatinate rejected an appeal by a man to have the costs of his hairpiece paid for by a statutory health insurer, saying the problem was not unusual enough among men to justify his claim.

The man had based his appeal on the grounds he had been bald since childhood, but the insurer told him it only provided "long-term hair replacement support" for women and minors.

Wolf

When is a zebra not a zebra?

A Chinese park has reportedly painted stripes on a horse and is charging people to have pictures taken with the 'zebra'.

Shenyang botanical park is charging 30p each for pictures with the animal which, as well as painted black stripes, has fluffy white hair.

When asked if the zebra is real, the feeder answered: "It's from Africa. What do you call it, if it's not a zebra?"

"We saw right away that the zebra is fake, but we are here for fun, so it doesn't really matter," said a mother who had just paid for her child's picture.

Bizarro Earth

Is it a Bird? Is it a Plane? No, it's a huge Naked Superman

A 21-metre (70ft) floating sculpture of a naked man has been installed in Milan's main park.

The balloon, a self-portrait by Pawel Althamer, a Polish artist, has been hovering outside the Palazzina Appiani in Parco Sempione since Monday, drawing second takes, amused looks and some reprobation about exposing children to nudity.

"To be honest with you, it's nothing new," said Rosaria Mirabelli, the mother of three-year-old Tommaso, who stared at the sculpture from the back of his mother's bicycle. "He sees his father naked. In this park we see so many worse things than a naked man," she added, referring to the park's reputation as a haven for drug users.

Magic Wand

Boy hatches chick from shop egg

A nine-year-old boy has hatched a chick from a box of free-range eggs which his mother bought in a Suffolk supermarket.

The chick, named Celia, hatched three weeks after Miles Orford, of Great Ashfield, placed six free-range Cotswold Legbar eggs in an incubator.

His mother, Sarah Orford, said: "We've tried the same experiment with quail and duck eggs.

"None of the quail eggs hatched. We're still waiting to see what happens with the duck eggs."

Arrow Down

Wallet reunited with owner after five decades in a 1946 Hudson

Glenn Goodlove said he was likely smooching with a girl in the expansive back seat of a 1946 Hudson when his wallet slipped from his pants pocket more than five decades ago. The year was 1952.

Magic Wand

Crank callers invite Sarkozy to 'dinner of fools'

Two Canadian comedians have fooled France's president-elect Nicolas Sarkozy with a crank phone call.

The 'Masked Defenders' - Marc-Antoine Audette and Sebastien Trudel - called Mr Sarkozy pretending to be Canada's Prime Minister Stephen Harper.

The caller apologised for his poor French skills and invited Mr Sarkozy to visit Canada to eat a popular Quebec dish of fries, cheese curds and gravy.