© Babylon Bee
U.S.-In a desperate attempt to educate millennials, widely regarded as a generation of Tide Pod-eating ignoramuses who are almost as bad as the Boomers, a new edition of the Harry Potter series is being released which will now contain extended sections discussing world history.
"We're tired of constantly telling them 'Read another book!'" explained educator Philip Weber, who was behind the change. "So we've worked out the rights with J. K. Rowling to put all the information they'll need into the only books they'll read."
In this new version of the Harry Potter series, the children attend the world history classes of a Professor Floopyflobbleflibble, and great detail is given as to exactly what Harry, Ron, and Hermione learn about such things as World War II and the Cold War. While learning, the children reinforce the importance of their new knowledge by saying things like, "This all seems like useful information -- maybe not for defeating Voldemort and the Death Eaters, but probably good to know for when we are old enough to vote."
