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Thu, 06 Aug 2020
The World for People who Think

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Bizarro Earth

McDonald's seeks to redefine 'McJob'

McDonald's, home to the McMuffin and the McNugget, is fed up with being home to the McJob.

The UK arm of the fast food chain is starting a campaign to get British dictionary publishers to revise their definitions of the word "McJob", a term the Oxford English Dictionary describes as "an unstimulating, low-paid job with few prospects, esp. one created by the expansion of the service sector".

Ambulance

The Final Upgrade: Airline Moves Dead Body to 1st Class

LONDON - A first-class passenger on a flight from Delhi to London awoke find the corpse of a woman who had died in the economy cabin being placed in a seat next to him, British Airways said Monday.

The economy section of the flight was full, and the cabin crew needed to move the woman and her grieving family out of that compartment to give them some privacy, the airline said.

Heart

Explicit Love Letters of Russian czar on sale in Germany

Cologne- Seven hand-written letters in which Czar Alexander II of Russia and his mistress, Princess Ekaterina Dolgorukaya, explicitly describe sex are to be auctioned this Friday in the German city of Cologne.

Bizarro Earth

BA apologises for First Class corpse

British Airways has apologised after First Class passengers on a flight from Delhi awoke to find crew had placed a corpse in their cabin.

Businessman Paul Trinder, 54, had dozed off in his £3000 First Class seat on the flight from Delhi to Heathrow, but awoke to a "commotion" in the darkened cabin.

He told how crew were moving what he later established was a person "like a sack of potatoes", positioning her in a seat on the other side of the cabin and seatbelting her in.

Wine

Drunk posted himself

A German man has been arrested after he climbed into an emergency postbox for unwanted babies while drunk.

Heinrich Mueller, 28, slid down the chute and ended up in an emergency incubator, triggering alarms among medical staff.

But instead of another unwanted newborn baby, they found Mueller smoking a cigarette.

He then fell asleep as staff worked out how to get him out of the incubator at the hospital in Dortmund.

Eagle

Fly-by poo shocker

New research has shown that bird poo costs car sellers £6.5 million a year, and causes British motorists a staggering £24 billion in annual damage to paintwork.

It might be our feathered friends way of jumping on the global-warming band wagon - but nearly 60 % of us suffer from the dreaded droppings at least once a month, with nearly half of cars in Britain pelted with poo at least once a fortnight, and an unlucky one in six splattered every single day.

And bird poo is more than just an unsightly nuisance for British drivers; it can also cost us dearly. A quarter of used car buyers expect a discount of at least £100 if a vehicle has been used as a dumping ground by our feathered friends.

Bizarro Earth

Study: More Men Than Women Sleep With Teddy Bears

According to a survey by hotel chain Travelodge, more men said they take teddy bears to bed. The survey found 20% of respondents that were male were teddy bear cuddlers, while only 15% of women admitted to the practice.

The study was commissioned so Travelodge could determine whether or not promotion for their new pillow with arms, called a Cuddilow, is worth the effort. 63% of the 2,000 participants said a bedtime cuddle was necessary for them in order to sleep.

Recycle

Man relieves himself in air-sickness bag after plane WC declared "out of order"

SALT LAKE CITY - SkyWest Airlines apologized to a passenger who said he wasn't allowed to use the restroom during a one-hour flight and ended up urinating in an air-sickness bag.

James Whipple said he had two "really big beers" at the Boise, Idaho airport. While on a flight to Salt Lake City on March 7 he wanted to use the cabin restroom.

The captain had declared it off-limits during the short flight because a light wasn't working.

Take 2

3 'Jeopardy' contestants end up tied - odds? one in 25 million

NEW YORK - All those years of answers and questions, and it's never happened before on "Jeopardy!" What is a three-way tie, Alex?

Attention

Khalid Shaikh Mohammed Confesses to Everything Ever Including Stock Market Crash of 1929!

Kalid Shaikh Mohammed was captured by the US in 2003, tortured by the CIA in a secret prison for a while, then shipped to Guantamo to stand lawyerless before a military tribunal that would determine if he was fit to stand before another military tribunal.

So we're not entirely sure if we buy that he's responsible for all 31 plots he mentioned (helpfully listed here by the New York Times).