Don't Panic! Lighten Up!S


Penis Pump

Antarctica base gets 16,500 condoms before darkness

One of the last shipments to a US research base in Antarctica before the onset of winter darkness was a year's supply of condoms, a New Zealand newspaper has reported.

Bill Henriksen, the manager of the McMurdo base station, said nearly 16,500 condoms were delivered last month and would be made available, free of charge, to staff throughout the year to avoid the potential embarrassment of having to buy them.

The base only has a skeleton staff through the long winter.

Bug

Bugs deliver more minerals and healthier fats than beef or pork

Pass the Land Shrimp

Here's something good you can do for your body and your planet: Eat more bugs.

Smiley

Cubans guard glasses on Lennon statue after thefts

HAVANA -- All he needs is love - and someone to keep an eye on his glasses.

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©AP Photo/Javier Galeano
Cuban watchman Juan Gonzalez, smoking a cigar, gestures next to John Lennon statue in Havana Tuesday, June 3, 2008. Ever since thieves twice nicked the round-rimmed wire spectacles from the nose of Havana's bronze John Lenon statue shortly after it was unveiled in 2000, four retirees have worked rotating, 12-hour day and night shifts to ensure they don't go missing again.

Ever since thieves twice swiped the iconic round-rimmed spectacles from Havana's John Lennon statue eight years ago, four retirees have rotated 12-hour, round-the-clock shifts to ensure they don't go missing again.

"You have to be here every day because the day you aren't, there the glasses go," said watchman Juan Gonzalez, an 89-year-old retired filing clerk who smokes up to seven cigars a day guarding the bronze statue from a nearby bench.


Eye 2

Famous Exorcist: "The devil loves to take over those who hold political office"

In an interview with the magazine Maria Mensajera, famous Italian exorcist Father Gabriele Amorth said, "Everybody is vulnerable to the work of Satan" and that "the devil loves to take over those who hold political office."

Bizarro Earth

UK: Dying man wins gamble on his own life

A dying man who literally gambled on his own life plans to spend his bookie's winnings on booze, fags and death-defying theme park rides!

"Well, why not?" said pragmatic Jon Matthews who has been living on borrowed time ever since he was diagnosed with an untreatable asbestos-linked cancer more than two years ago.

The 58-year-old widower, who cares for his two elderly parents at his Woburn Sands home, also plans to give away a chunk of his £5,000 winnings to Macmillian cancer care charity and Hula animal sanctuary.

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©Unknown
Jon Matthews

Bizarro Earth

US: Can you spell 'education?' This school can't ...

A Cleveland-area principal says he's embarrassed his students got proof of their "educaiton" on their high school diplomas.

Westlake High School officials misspelled "education" on the diplomas distributed last weekend. It's been the subject of mockery on local radio.

Bandaid

House of Yahweh Leader Predicts Doomsday, Sells Food

Nuclear war will begin next Thursday, June 12, or sooner, according to the latest prediction of self-proclaimed prophet Yisrayl "Buffalo Bill" Hawkins, the founder of a religious sect in Abilene, Texas.

Life Preserver

Pennsylvania crews rescue nude man stuck in portable potty

LEBANON - Rescue crews had to cut apart a portable toilet to rescue a man who got stuck naked inside the potty. Authorities say the 31-year-old man used his cell phone to call 911 on Sunday from inside a portable toilet.

Key

Don't abandon car in motion, says Cyprus motor code

Nicosia - Drivers in Cyprus have been told not to abandon their car in motion, or wave their hands and legs out of car windows.

Take 2

Germany: Armed police raid rap video

An armed police SWAT squad who raced to a shoot-out between armed drugs dealers found gangsta rappers making a music video instead.

Worried residents in Dortmund, Germany, called police when they thought they saw a cocaine dealers' gunfight going on outside their homes.