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Wed, 06 Dec 2023
The World for People who Think

Don't Panic! Lighten Up!


Idiotic and Ridiculous! Bin Laden's black beard baffles U.S. intelligence

U.S. intelligence officials studying Osama bin Laden's videotape released last week said on Monday they were baffled by his new black beard.

"We don't know if it's dyed and trimmed, or real, but that's one of the things we are looking at," Director of National Intelligence Michael McConnell told a Senate committee hearing. "The last time he appeared it was very different."

Comment: No kidding! So maybe it is not a duck if it doesn't talk and walk like a duck? Rather makes a mockery of 'Director of National Intelligence' don't you think?

Bizarro Earth

London's Harrods hires cobra to guard 62,000 pound shoes

To their high society owners, a pair of haute couture shoes can be a precious thing.

But to guard a 62,000 pound (120,000 dollar) pair of ruby- sapphire- and diamond-encrusted Rene Caovilla sandals at their London launch, retailer Harrods went to extreme lengths: bringing in a live Egyptian cobra to patrol the shoe counter.

A cobra guards a pair of Rene Caovilla shoes at Harrods department store.

Whether hiring a poisonous snake is, strictly speaking, the most effective means of guarding precious footwear might be a moot point with security experts.


Teen's Yearbook Photo Banned for Flower

MERRIMACK, N.H. - A New Hampshire teenager's yearbook photo has been rejected, because she's holding a flower. Merrimack High School student Melissa Morin's senior photograph featured her and a small red flower. School officials, however, said the picture is not going to make it in the yearbook because props aren't allowed.


Ukrainian zoo names skunks Clinton and Bush

A zoo in Kharkov, Ukraine's second-largest city, has named the country's only pair of skunks after two U.S. presidents, Bush and Clinton, a spokesman for the zoo said Friday.

The skunks, known for their ability to excrete a foul-smelling odor when alarmed, are the last captive pair remaining in a Ukrainian zoo, the spokesman explained, adding that their names were chosen to reflect the species' geographic origin - North America.


Woman has yard full of snapping turtles

Earlier this summer, Betty Kratzke noticed that something was disturbing the ground near the flowers that line her driveway. Solving the mystery this week proved to be a snap - when baby snapping turtles started crawling around her yard.

"They just keep popping up out of the hole," said Cliff Hanson, Kratzke's brother-in-law.


US: No ID, so no booze for 65-year-old

A 65-year-old US woman was not allowed to buy wine in a Maine supermarket as she had no identification to prove her age.

Barbara Skapa said she normally carries her driver's licence, but with her leg in a cast, a friend drove her to the Hannaford Bros market in Farmington last week to buy goods, including bottles of wine.

The cashier told her it was policy to check for identification, said Skapa, who believes "no one would mistake me for 30 or even 40".

Bizarro Earth

Romania: Burglars stole candy from baby

A sweet-toothed gang of Romanian burglars was caught after stealing candy from a baby.

They grabbed a handful of lollipops during a house raid in Italy and dumped them half-eaten nearby.

But police found and tested the lollipops and managed to match up vital DNA evidence contained in saliva.

Bizarro Earth

UK: 'He's Up There With The Dumbest'

A burglar has been hauled before the courts after leaving police a helpful clue at the crime scene - his name scrawled on a wall.

Peter Addison, 18, daubed "Peter Addison was here!" in black marker pen at a campsite for underprivileged children.

He and friend Mark Ridgeway, 18, had been on a drunken wrecking spree at the camp.

They had smashed crockery, let off fire extinguishers and used dinner plates as cricket balls.

When police arrested Addison, he was even wearing a T-shirt stolen from the site, the Crown Prosecution Service said.

Penis Pump

Go away, stupid! Bush thanked "Austrian" PM John Howard, for being a kind OPEC host.

Click here to see the video.

OPEC is the Organisation of Petroleum Exporting Countries.

Mr Bush, who flew halfway around the world to be in Australia, not Austria, for the APEC (Asia-Pacific Economic Cooperation) summit of world leaders, took to the stage at the Sydney Opera House.

He thanked Mr Howard for his introduction and for being such a "kind host" for the OPEC summit.

"I mean APEC summit," he said.

"I've been invited to the OPEC summit next year. The APEC summit."

The faux pas brought laughter from his audience.


Osama shows up at APEC summit

How trusted is Canada around the world? Consider this: Prime Minister Stephen Harper is in Australia for a meeting of Asia-Pacific leaders in Sydney. But little did he know that his presence and the Canadian flag would be used to pull off a bizarre gag that hasn't left security forces there laughing.