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Sun, 27 Sep 2020
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Bizarro Earth

Donkey Becomes Witness in Dallas Dispute

The first witness in a lawsuit Wednesday between two neighbors was a real ass. Buddy the donkey walked to the bench and stared at the jury, the picture of a gentle, well-mannered creature and not the loud, aggressive animal he had been accused of being.

The donkey was at the center of a dispute between oilman John Cantrell and attorney Gregory Shamoun that began after Cantrell complained about a storage shed Shamoun was building in his backyard in Dallas.

He said Shamoun retaliated by bringing Buddy from his ranch in Midlothian and putting him in the backyard.

Sheeple

Sudan man forced to 'marry' goat

A Sudanese man has been forced to take a goat as his "wife", after he was caught having sex with the animal.

The goat's owner, Mr Alifi, said he surprised the man with his goat and took him to a council of elders.

They ordered the man, Mr Tombe, to pay a dowry of 15,000 Sudanese dinars ($50) to Mr Alifi.

"We have given him the goat, and as far as we know they are still together," Mr Alifi said.

Star

Why Are Americans Afraid of Being Naked?

In the Netherlands people can be naked in their gardens, the beach and recently the gym. But in America, even chocolate sculptures can't be without clothes. What gives?

Coffee

Pair Looking for Drug Dealer Dial 911

POMONA, Calif. - Two men were arrested Tuesday after they mistakenly called 911 when they were trying to page a drug dealer, police said. Paul White, 38, and Ryan Ogle, 25, punched 911 as an urgent code to the dealer when they made the call from a pay phone around 3 a.m., Sgt. Michael Olivieri said.

Bomb

Bin Laden Look-Alike Runs for Election. Human Look-Alike runs US



©AP
In this campaign poster, released by a family member of Lanao Del Sur Board Member candidate Agakhan Mangondato Sharief in Manila, Philippines, shows a big, bold "Bin Laden" print of the 35-year-old candidate in the 1st District of Lanao Del Sur province in southern Philippines Wednesday, April 18, 2007.

MANILA, Philippines (AP) - Philippine elections are largely a battle of name recall, so Agakhan Sharief has chosen a moniker that will surely capture the attention of voters well beyond his backwater southern province - Osama bin Laden.

Comment: Holy cow wonder when a Bush look-alike will come around. I'm still waiting for "the other Bush; he's a uniter not a divider."


Coffee

Smoke Break Saves S.C. Woman From Tree

ROCK HILL, S.C. - Smoking just might have saved Brenda Comers' life.

Cloud Lightning

Russian submarine listing in Providence River after storm

A Russian submarine used as a floating museum in the Providence River is listing after yesterday's storm.

Museum President Frank Lennon says the nor'easter caused an extreme high tide and winds that pushed the submarine on a shoal close to shore. It's now leaning to the left.

Lennon says the submarine floats in about a foot of water, so there's little danger. No water has penetrated the boat.

The museum hasn't yet decided how to fix the problem. The boat has been closed to visitors.

Wine

Stuffed Monkey Leads Cops to Drug Arrest

FORREST CITY, Ark. - An Arkansas State Police trooper suspected monkey business when he spotted a large stuffed animal perched atop the dashboard of a pickup truck on the interstate.

Better Earth

Young Whale Found in New York Harbor

Marine biologists were standing watch on Tuesday over a young whale that lost its way in New York harbor and nearly wandered into a narrow waterway notorious for industrial pollution.


Bulb

UK: Thousands call in sick and enjoy the sun

The lure of holiday sunshine was too much for thousands of workers yesterday, who swapped suits for shorts and "pulled a sickie".

A specialist legal advisory service for businesses said more than 60 per cent of its calls were from employers concerned about absenteeism.

Britain's beaches recorded higher than normal numbers of visitors and those who did venture into the office found themselves able to find a seat on trains and buses that are usually packed.

With cool fronts expected to bring temperatures down to about 64F (18C) over the next few days, it seems that some workers could not resist taking advantage of the continuing hot spell, with temperatures reaching 77F (25C) in the Solent yesterday.