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Wed, 04 Aug 2021
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Magic Wand

Victim and Thief Meet Again at Bookstore

PRESCOTT, Ariz. - A woman whose purse was stolen and the thief who took it inadvertently stood next to each other at a Prescott bookstore _ she to complain about the unauthorized use of her credit card, he to get some cash.

Bizarro Earth

270 Smuggled Crocodiles Seized in China

Chinese police tracking a suspicious vessel on a border river in southwest China got a shock when they found 270 crocodiles, a state news agency reported Monday.

Xinhua News Agency said the seizure was the largest this year in Guangxi region, where 25 illegally captured crocodiles were discovered in the first six months.

Border police noticed the boat trying to land on the Chinese side of the Beilun River, which marks the border with Vietnam, early on Sunday.

Xinhua said four people carried bags off the boat, but jumped into the river and swam away when they saw the police.

Wine

Cheese Wars: Swiss govt wants EU to register Gruyere as protected designation of origin

The Swiss Federal Office for Agriculture said it will apply to the EU to have Gruyere registered as a term of controlled provenance, after French attempts to have its own Gruyere-style cheese registered in the EU Protected Designation of Origin (PDO) register.

Dairy farmers in the French border region have been making similar cheese under the same name for some time and several agreements say Swiss and French producers may share the name.

Bulb

Satire: Black Holes Renamed 'Super High Gravity Locations'

The International Space Nomenclature Council today adopted the term 'emplacements de hauts gravité super' - or 'super high gravity locations' - as the official replacement name for black holes. Originally named in reference to the fact that light cannot escape their intense gravity, the term 'black hole' was increasingly criticized as being insensitive to African-Americans and African-Europeans.

"We're glad the council finally took action on this issue." said Isaiah Herman, Chairman of the National African-American Coalition of People. "The unimaginable destructive power of these super high gravity locations was giving the word 'black' a negative connotation throughout the universe."

Super high gravity locations are the remnants of giant stars that collapse into a substance so dense that it has a gravitational pull that consumes all matter that comes near it. "They're the bad boys of the cosmos." says Nokidi Imsure, Professor of Astronomic Anthropology at Howyflyl University. "You would definitely want to cross the street if you saw one coming."

Wolf

Tiny dog saves baby from rattlesnake

MASONVILLE, Colo. - Zoey is a Chihuahua, but when a rattlesnake lunged at her owners' 1-year-old grandson, she was a real bulldog.

Sheeple

Secret weapon exposed! Israel to export used up Uri Geller to US reality TV

NBC has announced that it has inked a deal for Phenomenon, the working title for a "live" reality competition series that will feature controversial alleged mentalist Uri Geller and Criss Angel Mindfreak illusionist Criss Angel conducting a search for "the next great mentalist."

"The match-up of two world-famous personalities, Uri Geller and Criss Angel -- who have demonstrated astounding skills -- makes for a riveting series format," said Ben Silverman, co-chairman of NBC Entertainment and Universal Media Studios. "Factor in the mystery of the genre, the live competitive angle as the contestants attempt to follow in Criss and Uri's footsteps, and incredible interactive applications, and we think viewers will have many compelling reasons to watch."

Phenomenon is based on a popular Israeli reality competition series called The Successor, which premiered earlier this year. Geller served as a judge and mentor for the Israeli show, and the NBC adaptation will follow a similar format, with 10 contestants having their "mystifying talents" tested through a series of weekly challenges in-front of a panel of celebrity guest judges and a studio audience.

Key

Uri Geller accused of TV trickery

A hit Israeli TV show starring celebrity spoon-bender Uri Geller has come under fire from magicians for being full of "tricks and stunts".

The self-proclaimed paranormalist is looking for others with his "powers" on Uri Geller Looks for a Successor.

But Israeli magician Eliron Toby said the show "damaged" those who wanted to believe in Geller and Dandi Asraf said there were "no supernatural powers".

Bizarro Earth

Zimbabwe hunts spirit medium over false fuel claim

Zimbabwe police are hunting a traditional spirit medium who led President Robert Mugabe's government on a fruitless search for much-needed fuel she said was mysteriously oozing out of a rock.

The southern African state is battling with acute fuel shortages amid an economic crisis many blame on Mugabe's policies.

On Sunday, a Zimbabwean government newspaper reported a 35-year-old traditional healer and spirit medium claimed to have discovered diesel streaming from a rock in the northwest around Chinhoyi Caves, protected by locals as a traditional shrine.

Rotina Mavhunga had said "the diesel was a gift from ancestral spirits who saw that their children were suffering because of the fuel shortage" and was pictured by a local newspaper holding a hosepipe stuck into a rock, "spewing the oil," the Sunday Mail said.

Bizarro Earth

Don't panic! Wikipedia gives its "highly educational" clarification on steam pipe menace

Wikipedia moved with its customary lightning speed this morning to bring netizens the very latest in-depth information on steam pipes, one of which yesterday gave New Yorkers a nasty fright:


Bulb

'Centre of the universe' near Kamloops BC -- really

Some hear choral singing while others claim it's the sound of pipe organs or the whistling of the wind. But to Tibetan monks, the sound streaming through the Deadman Valley near Kamloops is proof the area is the centre of the universe.