Don't Panic! Lighten Up!S


Heart

Accident ruins 800-lb. man's date

MEXICO CITY - When Manuel Uribe went out on a date, he made all the necessary arrangements: a forklift to carry him out of the house and a flatbed tow truck big enough to haul the formerly half-ton man and his bed to a party.

But even the open road wasn't big enough to handle Uribe's dream of celebrating a budding romance and his success in losing about 440 pounds.

800 pound heavy man
©(AP Photo/Monica Rueda)
Manuel Uribe, center, is moved on his bed onto a flatbed truck in Monterrey, Mexico, Sunday, March 10, 2008. Formerly known as the 'Half Ton Man', Uribe left his house to go on a date with his girlfriend, and to celebrate his diet, having lost about 440 pounds. Uribe's blood pressure dropped so much his doctors advised him not to go on and the celebration, being documented by about two dozen photographers and reporters from around the world, was canceled.

Bizarro Earth

India: Man earns record for hairiest ears

Radhakant Bajpai, from Kanpur has just made it to the Guinness Book of World Records for having the world's hairiest ears.

Bajpai's ear tufts measured 13.2 cm when he created the record and have now grown to almost 25 cm.

Image
©Unknown

Bad Guys

Seven new deadly sins: are you guilty?

Drug pushers, the obscenely rich, environmental polluters and "manipulative" genetic scientists beware - you may be in danger of losing your mortal soul unless you repent.

After 1,500 years the Vatican has brought the seven deadly sins up to date by adding seven new ones for the age of globalisation. The list, published yesterday in L'Osservatore Romano, the Vatican newspaper, came as the Pope deplored the "decreasing sense of sin" in today's "securalised world" and the falling numbers of Roman Catholics going to confession.

Butterfly

Celebrating Creativity: Imagination Machine brings stories to life

Sometime youngster's imaginations run away from them. And sometimes, their imagination runs toward them.

At least, that was the case Thursday at Mesa Robles Middle School in Hacienda Heights. The students' stories took wing, so to speak, thanks to the Imagination Machine.

War Whore

President Bush speaks his mind (!?)

Of the many ways President George Bush has proved himself a clueless commander-in-chief, his recent comments about rising prices gas tops them all.

bush speaks
©Larry Downing / Reuters

UFO

Robbie Williams claims he has seen UFOs three times

Singer Robbie Williams claims that he has encountered a UFO at least three times.

The 'Feel' star - who has previously battled drug and alcohol addiction - also says he'll quit his singing career to study aliens after his series' of extra terrestrial experiences.

robbie williams
©Unknown

Take 2

UK astronomers to broadcast adverts to aliens

British astronomers are to broadcast the first adverts to aliens.

The cosmic stunt marks a small step for man, a giant leap for advertising hype and underlines the desperation of British astronomers to find new sources of funding as they struggle to cope with swingeing cuts that now threaten institutions such as Jodrell Bank, the world famous observatory in Cheshire.

Although each and every television advert already broadcast has leaked into the heavens, the caper marks the first time one is to be targetted at an other worldly market, a zone in the constellation Ursa Major that could harbour alien worlds, the snack manufactuer Doritos announces today.

Image
©Telegraph (UK)
The EISCAT Space Centre in Svalbard, Norway will broadcast the ad

Smiley

Licence to lie for Italian women

Adulterous Italian women can now protect their honour with impunity
Italy's highest appeal court has ruled that married Italian women who commit adultery are entitled to lie about it to protect their honour.

The court gave its landmark ruling after hearing the case of a 48-year-old woman, convicted of giving false testimony to police by denying she had lent her mobile phone to her lover.

Beer

Hey, tanks a lot! Drunken Russian Tank Crew Wrecks House

Moscow - A Russian tank crashed through a villager's house after the crew stopped to buy more vodka at a nearby shop.

Phoenix

Angry Wife Accused of Burning 400 Phones

A spurned Chinese wife set fire to more than 400 cell phones owned by her and her husband after he walked out on their marriage, a news agency reported Friday. The official Xinhua News Agency said the 37-year-old woman, identified only by her surname Wang, was arrested for arson.