Don't Panic! Lighten Up!
Stay with this one. It is good.
It's a slow day in the small town of Pumphandle and the streets are deserted. Times are tough, everybody is in debt, and everybody is living on credit.
A tourist visiting the area drives through town, stops at the motel, and lays a $100 bill on the desk saying he wants to inspect the rooms upstairs to pick one for the night.
As soon as he walks upstairs, the motel owner grabs the bill and runs next door to pay his debt to the butcher.
(Stay with this..... and pay attention)
The butcher takes the $100 and runs down the street to retire his debt to the pig farmer.
The pig farmer takes the $100 and heads off to pay his bill to his supplier, the Co-op.
The guy at the Co-op takes the $100 and runs to pay his debt to the local prostitute, who has also been facing hard times and has had to offer her "services" on credit.
The hooker rushes to the hotel and pays off her room bill with the hotel Owner.
The hotel proprietor then places the $100 back on the counter so the traveler will not suspect anything.
At that moment the traveler comes down the stairs, states that the rooms are not satisfactory, picks up the $100 bill and leaves.
No one produced anything. No one earned anything. However, the whole town now thinks that they are out of debt and there is a false atmosphere of optimism and glee.
And that, my friends, is how a "stimulus package" works.

A vulture that has been hanging around K Street in Washington appears to be looking at its own reflection in an office window.
The jokes that people have left on The Washington Post's Web site and Facebook page since the story first appeared online Thursday have left no target safe.
Not politicians:
"We owe it to our fine feathered friends to provide a plethora of carcasses come this November. However, even a vulture might choke on some of them," wrote lelliot4.
The staff member at Loro Parque in Tenerife was reportedly dressed in an ape suit for a practice drill when he was accidentally shot with the dart filled with enough drugs to take down a 400lb gorilla.
According to La Opinión de Tenerife newspaper, the employee was running around the zoo in the costume to add realism to the drill practicing what would happen if an animal escaped.

Work it! Barack "I'm the most powerful man in the world" Obama is a bit of a light-weight.
President Obama came to Eastern Europe to reaffirm his commitment to NATO allies over the crisis in Ukrainian amid criticism in Washington that he is not taking a hard enough line.
However, leaked footage of the President's workout in a Warsaw hotel has got social media users questioning Obama's tough-guy image. The video shows Obama making his way around the gym in a dark tracksuit, doing lunges and doing upper body exercises with a range of weights.
Vincent James of Daytona Beach told WESH-TV he saw the bear climb into the hammock on Thursday and proceed to lounge like "a tourist or something."
According to James, this bear stayed in the hammock for about 20 minutes, relaxing and allowing a photographer to shoot several soon-to-be widely shared photos of the unlikely visitor.
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"Bottled Emotions" was born of Kinser's desire to mix a conceptual art piece with packaging. "I was interested in the idea of packaging something intangible, and emotions were an interest... I started thinking about how people are always so emotionally drained," Kinser told The Huffington Post, "We deal with so many emotions in any one day and that is amplified when big events happen -- deaths, weddings, breakups, births, holidays, injuries, etc. What does it even mean to be emotionally available anymore?"
We certainly don't have the answer to that; but Kinser's take on the big question sees bottles filled up with emotions like love, fear, confusion, anger, excitement and envy, each with a unique color to match the feeling. The project also includes a tonic book, which teaches people how to create cocktails for life's most emotional moments, like Black Friday, Mall Traffic or Tacky Sweater.
The grey heron must have read the Green Cross Code and then decided to use the zebra crossing to navigate the busy Cannon Retail Park.
Twitter user @MrTaylan took the picture yesterday afternoon before adding: "What is it about birds in Thamesmead? Always just wandering around car parks."
This is not the first time Thamesmead has played host to interesting wildlife episodes.
An incredibly rare suacco heron was spotted in Crossness Nature Reserve in June 2007 while an equally uncommon Ferruginous duck sent twitchers crazy in West Lake near Morrisons in February 2012.
Seoul - A four-year-old Chinese boy managed to get hold of his father's passport, and apparently thought it needed an artist's touch. Unfortunately for the father, the budding Rembrandt has left him stranded in South Korea for unrecognizable documentation.
The father, known only by media resources as Chen, had taken his family on a trip to South Korea when he left his passport out for his son's eager hands to find.
The toddler found a black marker and covered the pages of his father's passport with various doodles including landscapes, animals, and flowers. He also altered his father's photo by adding a beard, a lion's mane, and darkening the eyes.












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