Don't Panic! Lighten Up!S


Smiley

Cannabis blunder at Tokyo airport

An unwitting passenger arriving at Japan's Narita airport has received 142g of cannabis after a customs test went awry, officials say.

A customs officer hid a package of the banned substance in a side pocket of a randomly chosen suitcase in order to test airport security.

Sniffer dogs failed to detect the cannabis and the officer could not remember which bag he had put it in.

Anyone finding the package has been asked to contact customs officials.

Recycle

Carla Bruni-Sarkozy sings of love for Nicolas

The Italian-born model-turned-singer's third album contains her own rendition of Bob Dylan's dewy-eyed ballad You Belong To Me, with blatant references to exotic destinations she and the French President visited last year during their lightning romance.

"See the pyramids along the Nile... Just remember darling, all the while, you belong to me," she croons in the Dylan song.

Image
©Unknown
arla Bruni-Sarkozy refers to the couple's foreign trips in her cover of Bob Dylan's 'You Belong to Me'

Black Cat

Nude maid accused of really cleaning up

Tampa, Florida - A nude maid is accused of really cleaning up at a Florida man's home. The Hillsborough County Sheriff's Office said a 50-year-old man hired the maid from the Internet on Friday to clean his Tampa home.

Display

www.lookforyourself.com

Australia: A federal Nationals senator has raised concerns about receiving internet addresses as answers to questions directed to senior public servants.

"There have been a number of portfolio-related issues that have been answered in this way," NSW senator Fiona Nash told a Senate estimates committee today.

"It's entirely inappropriate."

Comment: It would be interesting to know how many australian Senators are actually able to turn a computer on!


Question

Flashback Bush Gets Help Pronouncing Difficult Foreign Names



Bush scratches head
©Unknown
"Is that Sar-KO-zee ??

President George Bush is about as eloquent with the English language as a wildebeest in heat. And so his speech writers try to help out by including phonetic spellings for some of the more difficult words which might clank out of his pie hole.

Bizarro Earth

Australia: Cops and robbers break into same house

For a burglar, being chased by the police is one thing. But finding them already there when you jemmy open the window just doesn't seem fair.

That was the shock awaiting a couple of thieves who staged a midnight raid on a Melbourne house last week.

But the police weren't waiting for them - in fact, they were no less surprised.

The Melton property was allegedly being used for growing hydroponic cannabis, and the detectives were on a raid to arrest the resident, a man in his 20s.

Bizarro Earth

China: Man squirts milk from eyes

A Chinese man has stunned onlookers by demonstrating his ability to squirt milk out if his eyes.

Zhang Yinming drank milk through his nose and then squirted it up to two metres with his eyes.

Zhang, from Shandong province, showed off his unusual skills in Nanjing city, the capital of Jiangsu Province.

Image
©Unknown

Roses

Nebraska, US: Tree Split In Half After Neighbor Dispute

Much like Solomon's biblical court, an Omaha man said he was forced to split a tree down the middle to satisfy a neighbor.

A 20-year old pine tree sits in Steve Liston's front yard near 130th and Ellison streets. One side is green and lush and the other is shaved down to the middle of the tree.

Liston said he has lived in his home for 11 years. Last year, he got a certified letter from his neighbor asking him to cut the tree because it was damaging the grass.

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©KETV

Display

Trans Atlantic 'tunnel' links London to New York

An arresting new artistic landmark is drawing crowds in London and New York, intrigued at being able to wave to each other through what is teasingly presented as a a huge Trans Atlantic tunnel.

From its London end next to City Hall on the south bank of the River Thames, tourists and locals can see people at the other end of the Telectroscope, by the Brooklyn Bridge in New York.

New York - London Tunnel
©Matthew Andrews

Fish

At last, a fish that doesn't get away... quite so often

A Welsh river is being stocked with "genetically modified" trout whose biological alterations make them easier to catch.

The trout - known as triploids - are being introduced by the Environment Agency, which wants to prevent interbreeding between native trout and those bred on fish farms introduced to the country's waterways for anglers.

Because the modified fish are not naturally wild, it makes them easier to hook.