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Wed, 12 Dec 2018
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Penis Pump

College professor halts penis-measurement study over unspecified 'public reaction' to picture requests

shock viewing
A US academic who appealed to the public for penis pictures has canceled her research, which has been "compromised" by "public reaction." She failed to elaborate on what was likely a barrage of lewd pictures sent to her inbox.

It's not unusual for scientific studies to ask for the help of volunteers, but it's not every day that those volunteers are asked to share photos of their penises. But that's exactly what Alice Walker, a sociologist at Missouri State University, did. She also asked the men to measure their penises and say if they believed them to be bigger than average, smaller than average, or below average.

She had no trouble finding volunteers after launching the study on June 18. By June 26, she had already received a few hundred images. But the efforts of willing participants were in vain, because Walker has now canceled the study.

Handcuffs

All for a soda: Dumb Canadian crime couple grapples with police, gets tasered, falls through ceiling of convenience store

spruce grove
© Flickertail Times / YouTube
Escaping a convenience store with a can of soda proved an impossible task for a couple of Canadians who, in their cinematic getaway attempt, wrestled police, got tasered and fell through a ceiling, before ending up in jail.

The botched attempt to avoid justice at a Spruce Grove convenience store in Alberta occurred after a suspicious pair of Canadians tried to pay for a can of soda using a stolen credit card. Refusing to let a couple of bucks slide, the responsible store owner called the police.

The subsequent altercation was full of unexpected plot twists, CCTV footage shows. When a Royal Canadian Mounted Police (RCMP) officer arrived at the scene, the 28-year-old male suspect pushed his 29-year-old female friend towards the cop and tried to make it out of the door. The falling officer, however, managed to grab his arm and tackle both to the ground, as the store owner, Paul Chauhan, kept watch at the gate.

Leaving his shirt in the clutches of the policeman, the man ran to the backroom of the store, looking for an alternative exit, CCTV footage from multiple cameras at the store showed. At some point the criminal tried to assault the officer using a bag of nuts of some sort before the mountie tasered him.

The female suspect used the chance to make her own daring escape attempt just as her accomplice suddenly evaded the cop and his electric weapon, and she made a dash for the main door, but was blocked by owner Chauhan.


Comment: This town deserves a better class of criminal.


Telephone

Donald Trump answers comedian's prank call aboard Air Force One

Pres Trump
© Kevin Lamarque / Reuters
A US comedian says the Secret Service paid him a visit after he tricked President Donald Trump aboard Air Force One with a prank call in which he pretended to be a Democratic senator.

Comedian John Melendez posed as Senator Bob Menendez for the joke and says he actually spoke to the president's adviser and son-in-law Jared Kushner, while posing as an assistant, before receiving a call back from the president on Thursday.

Melendez, also known as Stuttering John, uploaded a recording of the four-minute conversation to his podcast, in which Trump can be heard revealing his plans to nominate a new Supreme Court judge in "10 to 14 days," following Anthony Kennedy's decision to step down next month.

In the recording, the man identified as Trump also congratulated Senator Menendez for his acquittal in a 2017 bribery case. Menendez was accused of accepting gifts from a Florida eye doctor in exchange for political clout.

Russian Flag

Could neocon war cheerleader John Bolton be a Kremlin double-agent? Some say 'why not?'

BoltonfaceKremlin
© Unknown
It's written all over him!
John Bolton, who has dedicated his life to getting Iran - a Russian ally - bombed, has revealed himself as a Kremlin agent after shaking Putin's hand in Moscow, according to Russiagate's most levelheaded disciples.

The US National Security Advisor met with Russian President Vladimir Putin in Moscow on Wednesday, laying the groundwork for a meeting between Putin and Trump.

The arch-hawk has accused Russia of aligning with Iran, "the world's most important financier of terrorism," and throwing its weight behind an "axis of evil." But Bolton's decision to meet with Putin can mean only one thing, according to celebrated connoisseurs of baseless Russiagate conspiracies: John Bolton has been compromised.

Neocon stenographer Michael Weiss has led the charge, hinting that Bolton's presence in Moscow suggests that the Russians probably have a video of him getting urinated on by a prostitute.

Comment: "Boltongate?" As one gate closes, another opens...


Card - VISA

Get your new World Citizen card today! (VIDEO)

World Citizen Card
From passport to bank card to all government-licensed activities - the one world citizen card is upon us. Melissa and Aaron Dykes present what truth in advertising would really sound like for the technocratic smart grid control network being peddled to the global digital citizen.


Cult

The Donald is Divine: Trump is worshiped as a god in Indian village

Trump worship
A video has surfaced of U.S. President Donald Trump being worshiped as a deity by a group of Indians. That may be a form of praise even The Don himself wouldn't approve of, and moreover, there was little reason given as to why these Hindus are convinced that The Donald is Divine.

Trump supporters in the U.S. may have very strong and vocal reasons for why they support their President, but it's uncertain why Indians have a reason to worship him, nor has Donald Trump seemed to comment on his new worshipers.

It is worth noting this was not the first time that a world leader was recently worshiped as a God.

Smiley

Foreigners thought that US travel ban was to keep people from leaving

US Supreme Court
© Photograph by Olivier Douliery /picture-alliance/AP
Washington - Shortly after the United States Supreme Court upheld Donald J. Trump's controversial travel ban, millions of people from other countries expressed puzzlement that anyone would want to travel to the United States at this juncture.

In interviews with people from around the world, respondents said that the travel ban struck them as unnecessary, because the United States was not currently on the list of the top hundred countries to which they would consider travelling.

Beer

The horror! Beer shortages in Russia as World Cup fans drink cities dry

world cup fans russia
Vodka-loving Russian hosts have seriously underestimated just how much liquid bread European football fans require

Russians are hoping the 2.5 million foreign guests who will visit their country for the football World Cup will come away with a new and better understanding of the place, but likewise Russians are sure to learn new things about the rest of the world. Specifically just how thirsty for beer the European football fandom is:

Mr. Potato

Real friend or prankster? Debunking the viral 'man vs alligator' video

Crocodile
© Guillermo Granja / Reuters
An incredible video of a man apparently rescuing his friend from an approaching crocodile has been doing the rounds online, with many stunned viewers commending him for his bravery. However, all is not as it seems.

Social media users are sharing a video of a man in a what looks like a river, desperately trying to swim away from a pursuing croc as his friend looks on from the riverbank.

The friend tries to throw rocks to stop the sharp-toothed predator from reaching his pal, but fails to drive the animal away. In the end, he leaps into the water just in time to frighten the animal and help his friend escape to dry land.

The crocodile rescue might look extremely brave, but it's really just an elaborate practical joke, as revealed in a Youtube video by prankster Jay Karl.

Vader

Newly announced 'Space Force' will operate from giant spherical space station

Death Star
© News Thump
President Trump has revealed that the 'space force' which he has instructed the Department of Defense to create will operate from a massive spherical space station, capable of destroying an entire planet.

Addressing White House reporters yesterday the reality TV star proclaimed, "The Space Force will provide a whole new level of defence for America, and to a lesser extent the other countries on our planet, and will lay down the space law so other species know not to mess with us.

"Especially the Space Mexicans. They're the worst. Terrible aliens, terrible. It's never the good ones that want to come here."

He added,"I think we will build a giant spherical space station, which will look at first glance like a moon, but trust me - it's no moon.

Comment:

Trump wants to create military 'Space Force' to gain 'American dominance' in space