You're gonna love this one. It really doesn't get any more tragi-comedic than this...

The chief U.S. military spokesman said on Thursday that 'Al Qaeda leader in Iraq Abu Musab al-Zarqawi' has shifted tactics, focusing his suicide bombers on Iraqi forces and civilians instead of American troops:

"What we are seeing him do now is shift his target from the coalition forces to Iraqi civilians and Iraqi security forces," Major General Rick Lynch told a news conference.

So let me understand; "al-Zarqawi" (who is actually dead), faced with the changing dynamics on the Iraqi battle field, has now shifted his tactics and decided that the best way to attack and defeat American forces (you know, the actual enemy) and force them out of Iraq is to attack Iraqi civilians!? WOW! This guy is amazing! How DOES he come up with such fantastic strategies? Where else but in the mind of the evil genius "al-Zarqawi" who probably doesn't exist) would we come across such a devilish yet brilliant plan?

Only now do we understand why so many great military leaders throughout history failed to realise their full potential and ultimately suffered defeat. If only they had thought a little longer, obsessed a little harder, they too might have hit upon the ingenious plan of al-Zarqawi. Let it be recorded in the annals of military history:

The only true way to defeat your enemy is to attack your own grass-roots support base. Indeed, the time may come when, in order to entirely finish off your foe, the true great military leader may be forced to attack and kill himself.

But in truth, al-Zarqawi cannot take all the credit for this new, fool-proof strategy, because in the same report, we are told that:
"U.S. military intelligence sources in Iraq said recently that it appeared that international al Qaeda leaders may have prevailed on Zarqawi to limit attacks on Shi'ite civilians on the grounds this was counter-productive."
To which we can only respond: "No S**t Sherlock"

But we jest, of course, but not without good reason. It is shocking to read the blatant nonsense being espoused by the good General, if only because it suggests that our leaders think us so stupid as to believe it. That is not to say that someone is not attacking Iraqi civilians - they are dying by the dozen by the day - but to suggest that any Islamic militant group would attack Iraqi Muslims in an attempt to defeat American troops is so patently ridiculous as to preclude any serious comment on it (hence the above).

The truth, backed up by much evidence, is that the real perpetrators of the massacres currently taking place in Iraq are the infamous 'security contractors' and other 'private armies' employed by the states of Israel, America and Britain. It is these states that have anything to gain from the outbreak of sectarian violence in Iraq.