© Greg Doherty/Getty ImagesApparently not "woke" enough, Feminism eats another ally. When will they learn?
Yet again, an unnamed and anonymous woman makes sexual misconduct allegations, this time about Ansari to Babe.net. Not the police, which means whatever she tells the reporter will be just enough to shame and humiliate Ansari.
Apparently, after the two met, she describes in lurid detail her sexual encounter:
He said something along the lines of, 'How about you hop up [on the counter] and take a seat?'" Within moments, he was kissing her. "In a second, his hand was on my breast." Then he was undressing her, then he undressed himself. She remembers feeling uncomfortable at how quickly things escalated."Grace", the name used by Babe.net, goes on to add "He probably moved my hand to his d*ck five to seven times. He really kept doing it after I moved it away." Her short hand "review" of their sexual encounter was stated as "30 minutes of me getting up and moving and him following and sticking his fingers down my throat again. It was really repetitive. It felt like a fucking game."
When Ansari told her he was going to grab a condom within minutes of their first kiss, Grace voiced her hesitation explicitly. "I said something like, 'Whoa, let's relax for a sec, let's chill.'" She says he then resumed kissing her, briefly performed oral sex on her, and asked her to do the same thing to him. She did, but not for long. "It was really quick. Everything was pretty much touched and done within ten minutes of hooking up, except for actual sex."
According to "Grace" she never came right out and said 'no', but she goes to incredible lengths to paint Ansari as pathetic and desperate, which considering he is a male feminist, is probably accurate.
The question I have is this: "What is this doing in the news?"
There is no crime here. No one has a right to know about such a private interaction, and why would this woman want to have her dirty laundry aired for all the world to see?
The worst thing about not knowing her name is that other men might make the mistake of going out with her, in which case a detailed critical review of the next "game" will subsequently end up in the newspaper.
This is just a prurient overshare. The assumption that everything went as "Grace" claims is patently absurd, no one's memory is that good, and everyone sees things through their own filter.
I have a rule never to judge a man by information gained in betrayed confidence, so as soon as I'm done writing this, I'll promptly forget everything I "learned" about Ansari. In reality, the only person who should be ashamed is the one person whose anonymity is being protected.
In September of last year, I met a woman at a party. We exchanged numbers. We texted back and forth and eventually went on a date. We went out to dinner, and afterwards we ended up engaging in sexual activity, which by all indications was completely consensual.Apparently he knows who she is. It may not seem like he's learned his lesson, but consider the political climate he finds himself in. We are under Maoist rules now.
The next day, I got a text from her saying that although 'it may have seemed okay,' upon further reflection, she felt uncomfortable. It was true that everything did seem okay to me, so when I heard that it was not the case for her, I was surprised and concerned. I took her words to heart and responded privately after taking the time to process what she had said.
I continue to support the movement that is happening in our culture. It is necessary and long overdue. - Aziz Ansari
The new Miranda Rights
Everything you say and do can and will be used against you in the court of public opinion. That is the new standard in society. There is no more private. Your sexual misadventures will be exposed, your techniques and timing will be evaluated and mocked. As a man you have no recourse.
In the olden days, you usually made sure you got photographic evidence. It was a form of Mutually Assured Destruction. If she blabbed, you pubbed. Not anymore, her sexuality can never be shameful. She is entitled to do and be anything. Now publishing the goods is a crime, "revenge porn." And you can be arrested for it.
There is no insurance policy, and there is no privacy. I feel sorry for the guys who are getting burned for the mistake of believing past indiscretion would remain in the past, but going forward, every man has to know that one day his sexual experiences will be barbershop conversation.
And there is nothing he can do about it.
Reader Comments
The woman did it for money and 15 minutes of fame! In the UK this happens to football players all the time... they basically get in a situation where they are having sex with some so and so... come the following week, they are reading about it in a tabloid newspaper.
This lady in question just jumped on the #metoo bandwagon to get paid. Essentially, she's whoring herself for some dollar bills. $$$
Also probably she figured he wasn't going to put a ring on it and there went her meal ticket so you know... gotta do the next best thing.
Feminism shmelism... no feminism here despite what this woman says, only $$$$. There, my input!
In her report, she's really keen to over-emphasize what a lousy insistent and "quick" lover he was. So it's pretty typical shaming stuff imho.
If it was just for money or fame, I'd understand, but it's more contempt than greed.
In this case, babe.net would have wanted stuff from the story to create that little extra 'oomph'. Some lady no one knows about simply saying Ansari was horny and didn't have much stamina wasn't juicy enough... detail, detail, detail!!! Babe.net now as a result probably has increased traffic to its site which equates to more dollar bills, increased ad revenue etc. I for one won't visit that god forsaken place that I didn't even know existed until like 20 mins ago!
But hey ho, having said that... this also could be multi-purpose. From the woman's perspective, she gets paid, gets a little bit of fame and attention - a proper good old ego stroke ! Probably why she goes around sleeping with famous people, to feel whole ... babe.net gets money too and perhaps increased readership as well. At a higher level, more fuel to the fire that is #metoo and higher level agendas with regard to feminism and all that sort of stuff all the way up to the upper echelons of the rulers of humanity. Multi-purpose it could be
A girl don't need to be a feminist to take advantage of feminism.
R.C.
Yeah and you know... there are laws against discrimination so no one can say men can't retrospectively withdraw consent. Men also have to consent for sex to happen!!! Consent is mutual, a 2 way street.
Erm.. well, you either 'got it up' - or you ain't!
But alas, we can retrospectively withdraw our consent
So you'd like to keep an eye on us?... Peeping tom...
No woman on this planet has ever, nor will ever, take any guy of any colour, creed or ethnicity, as-it-might-be 'roaming in the gloaming', who is cretinous enough to 'self-identify' as a fricking ' male feminist'.
Put it away. Your mama's on the stairs.
Haha, imagine that... the above was news both here in the UK and in France. Lol
It is rather pathetic that #metoo have turned to such a human instinct to claim fame and win the power struggle.
My comment in no way condones and accepts the violent aspect of sexual harassment, but is calling out the way in which they have chosen to use it. When a mere compliment is cause for an uprising, then there is cause for concern.
What kind of weird, one-eyed, asexual dumb ass are you?
The real power women have over men is sex, and the real power men have over women is sex. Unless you happen to be the human equivalent of a hermaphrodite monkfish, of course.
"[…] the woman’s combined emotional disappointment that the sex is not accompanied by any commitment and realization that she suddenly wields enormous legal power to punish the man [...]
Whether by accident or design, feminists themselves have created a political version of the temptress, the seductress who lures men into a “honey trap” by offers of sexual pleasure before springing a trap that today can mean decades in prison"
See the rest of Nialls post to get what I was trying to outlay in 4 sentences
What used to get me a lot before is that why does it have to be such a proverbial minefield out there when it comes to finding the right partners? Heck, are you the right person for the one who is right for you? Wishful thinking, yes?
What I have come to understand is that, playing the game is pointless and only provides more food for the moon. Just because you have penis attached to your body does not require you to act in a certain way or try to be the initiator. There are no trophies to be won for either sides. Focus your energies on self-improvement and the right person will auto-magically appear. You won't feel like putting yourself on the chopping-block or have any fear of rejection when this happens. If it doesn't happen, it doesn't, no point dwelling on it.
Self-determination without allowing 'identity politics' getting in the way is key. Actually its impossible to achieve even an iota of self-determination if any part of you identifies with any form of transient artificially-manufactured 'identity politics' slop spewed forth by various our Agencies and Institutions. If men are scared its because they belong to a prevalent ideology = firmly embedded within the Matrix. ("Matrix"... interesting word that. Sounds... "Matriarchial" ) They love playing the game... Let em have it!
"just because you have penis attached to your body does not require you to act in a certain way or try to be the initiator. There are no trophies to be won for either sides" ... Not trophies, no. Trophies is obsession thinking - a form of self-seeking gratification negative-input/output that got Ansari in trouble. However, there are some basic overall differences of etiquette between men and women due to: Penis = Giver; Vagina = Receiver. There will always be some roll-play in accordance with that, with a little roll-reversal to mix things up a bit. Enjoy it.
"Focus your energies on self-improvement and the right person will auto-magically appear" To a point... But its got to be a 2 way street - your energies got to be met half-way too.
Indeed don't dwell... But good to think over to learn from.
There's recognising what's happening and then there's seeing it for what it is.
So, I've got a story... I planned a little break with a friend. Lovely guy, got a nice gf, good job, bought a house in a nice part of town last year.... by all accounts, the guy is winning at the game of life. Evolution has favoured him. He belongs in the 40% category. So just before we head on our trip he calls me up saying he has depression and anxiety issues that he's been battling for awhile and you know, just wanted me to know in case he acted out of character during our trip. Of course I was like, no probs, got your back etc etc...
In my mind though, I'm thinking... WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO BE DEPRESSED OR ANXIOUS ABOUT!!!! Try being chronically alone, not owning a home and getting f'ed up your back side by your job then come back to me about depression and anxiety.
But anywhose... those were just thoughts Everyone has there own problems.
Alison Tieman calls it the Empathy Apartheid.
So, when you say "I'm chronically alone," remember to add "and that's how I want it to be." I don't own a home, and that's how I want it to be. I get f'ed up the backside at work, and that's how I want it to be.
Eventually when you hear yourself say that kind of shit, you'll start saying to yourself "Hell no, that's NOT how I want it to be, I'm going to change it."
That aside, what's the end purpose of #MeToo? Are men going to hasten their own downfall on the back of #MeToo?
But fingers down the throat? LOL that's gross and there's probably an agenda behind that for that matter
Precisely. An Agenda. Sex is a touchy issue for everyone because we're all so sexual. Those up top will always try use sex against us whether through pent-up suppression through religious imposition - or pervert corrupt and plunge it into chaos. It amazes me to see balanced intelligent independent-thinking male friends of mine become bitter resentful and unbalanced so quickly when a sexual relationship with a female goes sour - jumping on the 'feminism is the devil and source of Western society's evil' bandwagon. They quickly forget about how much of an ass-hole their father was to their mother all those years ago, or the damaging relationship their sister endured with her prick self-centred BF.
Sex defines us more than race, class, ideology et al put together - thus destabilises us the most when it goes wrong. These scheming uncaring malicious women are simply human psychopaths, opportunist narcissists, or more often than not badly damaged souls because of the former aforementioned - whom happen to have vaginas! Its not about women really... Its about falling into negative STS 'relationships' for sex - and as heterosexual males we's gonna be the one's receiving it from the Weaponized Vagina.
The crux of this really comes down to how the sex-relationship came about and the types, situation and circumstances, that brought about the meet-up between man and woman. Sleazy encounters = unhealthy relationships = lands you with a steaming bag o' STS worm-stink.
Seek healthy balanced relationships with women and you will attract women who seek healthy balanced relationships with men. It can take longer to come about - but always worth it! And yes fellas... We have the penetrative penis which means we got to be the one's to take the initiative and put ourselves on the chopping-block risking embarrassment of rejection. Learn not to fear it. Its character-building! Be respectful, however handsome or ugly you think you are, and you won't find yourself on the wrong end of #MeToo.
Sleaze: Seek, and ye shall find - and all that comes with. Don't do it like Ansari!
One scary thing is men's perception of women as made manifest in the comments section of SOTT, and the writers' complete failure to understand the obvious about women, and about themselves in relation to women.
The state you're in largely determines what you see, and how you process what you see, and for a lot of men who post here, the terror of that particular situation can be illustrated by the following series of 'of courses' ....
If you've spent the last ten years with a cellphone in your trouser pocket, then of course your sperm count and testosterone levels are going to be at sub-zero levels, with the result being that, of course , women are going to seem scary and sexually threatening to you. If you're spending much of your time in the presence of computer screens and smart phones in an electrical Wi Fi storm, then of course , all you hormones are going to be out of whack, and of course your dopamine levels are going to be so dumb ass low, that communications from anyone with even an average I.Q. are going to seem like abstract, fathomless, quantum-entangled twighlight zone gibberish to you, and of course, that's just the men.
Call me backward pig or whatever.
My gift for the #metoo leads is the sitcom series from the 80's Married with children. Specially the episode a serial peeper.l
Al Bundy was to Feminism what Archie Bunker was to Socialism.
Makes me think of this song:
Beyond the problem of feminism I also see it as an opportunity for men to no longer be so beasts, there is also truth in that...
To better analyze our animal desires, to be less selfish and to learn to satisfy a woman correctly if one wants to have sexual adventures only, this can be improved as one improves the body in the gym or working on oneself in a way to attract women in a good way without needing tricks to take them to the bed but being sincere, or to become more responsible and mature to avoid problematic women
This will be useful when you find a good partner in the future and will laugh at any defamation