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Following an enormous leak regarding the shady tax arrangements of hundreds of rich people, Her Majesty's prisons are doubtless bracing themselves for the new intake.
"Of course they will go to prison. They've broken the law on a massive scale. That's what happens," said Elizabeth King, a heartbreakingly naïve woman from Bolton.
"I mean, I decided not to pay for some petrol once and I got chased down by two police cars, roughed up and thrown in jail for a night. So God knows what they'll be doing to these bastards.
"I don't want to be rude but they'll probably want to use their last days of freedom to stock up on some quality lubricants. Effectively stealing millions of pounds lands you in one of the rougher prisons, I should imagine?"
Lawyer to the rich and famous, Simon Williams, said, "Hahahaha, no."
"Which part of rich, white and powerful isn't clear to you people?
"They'll have half a day in court, be fined an amount that will barely make them blink, then do it all again only better, but not before paying me.
"The system really does give me a boner sometimes."
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