G I Joe: Retaliation already seems deep
Researchers at the Institute for Studies have warned that it will soon be impossible to dumb down news and entertainment media any further.
Professor Henry Brubaker said: "Most television is about cooking, the paranormal or poor people having arguments. The news is just opinions punctuated with pictures of 'extreme weather'.
"The only books being published are ghost-written celebrity biographies or thrillers about serial killers called things like 'The Face Collector'. Apart from that people just read lists of '10 facts about muscle growth' off websites.
"The problem is that although our culture cannot get any stupider, human intelligence may continue on its downward trajectory.
"The result will be a world in which nobody understands anything. Even a film about The Rock driving a jeep into explosions will leave viewers confused and angry at its pretentiousness."
However TV channel boss Mary Fisher said: "Don't worry, I've just commissioned Jamie & Jimmy's Paranormal Antiques Auction Sex News.
"And I'm confident we can go even lower. We must keep striving to find new depths of idiocy."
...please, please tell me this is satire. It feels like it...
But the way the world is lately, it may just be true.