A little quiz for the weekend to test how well you have been paying attention to the evolution of world politics over the past few years:

The new "al-Qaeda in Iraq leader" has issued a new statement urging all Muslims to:

A) Eat more hummus this Ramadan

B) Eat less hummus this Ramadan

C) Stop waging physical 'holy war' since the concept doesn't even exist in the Koran and only serves to provide the American and Israeli governments with an excuse to murder Palestinian and Iraqi civilians

D) Make Ramadan a month of 'holy war'

If you picked D, then you've obviously been paying attention, and if you have been paying too much attention to the likes of Fox News, then you are probably already beginning to feel the creeping fear that only the words "Islamic terrorism" can produce. But before your thinking abilities go completely off-line, let me sneak in another little tidbit of information.

This latest statement was allegedly made by a man that the US government claims is the new "leader of al-Qaeda in Iraq", the guy who took up the gauntlet after we all had to say our farewells to the much-loved "al-Zarqawi" in July. You know, I still can't believe that I'm not going to be using the name 'al-Zarqawi' on a regular basis anymore, it had become so familiar to me, it was almost like I knew him; but then I used to feel that way about my other favorite cartoon characters too.

Anyway, as stated, this new guy, 'Abu Hamza al-Muhajir' - also known as 'Abu Ayyub al-Masri' on a taped recording published on an Islamic website (www.muslimsterroristsRus.com also known as www.bywayofdeception.com) urged Muslims to make the holy month of Ramadan a "month of holy war," in an audiotape posted on an Islamic website yesterday.

Sadly however, and I know you're going to be disappointed about this, while the person on the tape identified himself as 'al-Muhajir', the voice could not, alas, be independently identified. Indeed, neither could it be personally identified by 'al-Muhajir' himself, given that, as reported by the BBC a few months ago, he has been languishing, incommunicado, in Cairo's Tura prison for the past seven years.

Now, if you are one of the people who picked D in our little quiz, you're probably the type of smarty pants that has already started wondering how he does it. How in Allah's name does the "new leader of al-qaeda in Iraq" manage to get a recorded message out from his spartan Egyptian hideaway and directly into your head, much less lead 'al-Qaeda' terror operations in Iraq? Well, you see, there's the rub. The fact is, you won't understand the true subtleties of US-Israeli geo-political strategy until you understand the all-important fact that you can't know the answer to that question.

The bottom line is that, despite your highly developed geo-political awareness, these t'rrists are much more savy than you. Heck, they're tricky, 'sneaky', 'Evil' even, and they have all sorts of nefarious ways and means that are simply beyond the ability of the average pasty white Westerner to fathom - and thank's be to jeebus too, the very last thing any of us wants is to sully our "beautiful minds" by accessing the depraved imaginings of these 'crazed terrorists' in an attempt to understand the ethos and rationale behind their "war on terror".

No siree, it's best to leave such perilous jobs to the professionals, the Israeli Mossad, the CIA and MI6, the guys who really understand the benefits of terrorism as a tool for mass manipulation of the sheeple.