http://www.sott.net Signs of the Times, featuring news and commentary on world events. Never wavering in our unending search for the light of truth in a pathocracy driven world! en-us Original content Copyright 2009 by Signs of the Times. For other content, see our Fair Use Policy at www.sott.net Fri, 20 Nov 2009 15:31:35 -0500 http://www.sott.net/images/sottlogo_rss.jpg SOTT.net http://www.sott.net http://www.sott.net/articles/show/197406-Satire-Heroin-Addicts-Pressure-President-To-Stay-Course-In-Afghanistan Los Angeles - As the White House considers sweeping strategic shifts in the war in Afghanistan, heroin addicts across the nation called on President Obama Monday to stick with the current U.S. policy, which has flooded the world market with low-price narcotics. http://www.sott.net/articles/show/197406-Satire-Heroin-Addicts-Pressure-President-To-Stay-Course-In-Afghanistan Fri, 20 Nov 2009 15:31:09 -0500 http://www.sott.net/articles/show/197374-Illinois-Rogue-Elf-Decorates-Family-s-Apartment It's a scenario of some residents' dreams: After returning home from a weekend getaway they find that someone has decorated their place for the holidays. But it wasn't a dream for a Herscher family who came home to that very situation Monday, and police now are investigating the case as a crime. The woman and her children left their apartment after 1 p.m. Saturday in the 600 block of East Second Street, and when they returned Monday morning they found a host of holiday decorations and lights had been put up, Herscher Police Chief Rick Gilbert said Tuesday. http://www.sott.net/articles/show/197374-Illinois-Rogue-Elf-Decorates-Family-s-Apartment Fri, 20 Nov 2009 10:53:29 -0500 http://www.sott.net/articles/show/197319-Herman-Van-Rompuy-s-Greatest-Hits For the Wall Street Journal Europe I've written an analysis of the election race (can we call it that?) for the post of president of the European council. The man leading the way according to bookmakers is Prime Minister Herman Van Rompuy of Belgium. It has been widely reported that in his spare time he likes to write poetry, or compose haikus. Herman has been derided widely for this but I think it's unfair. They're rather good. Here are the two best in case you missed them: http://www.sott.net/articles/show/197319-Herman-Van-Rompuy-s-Greatest-Hits Thu, 19 Nov 2009 16:24:16 -0500 http://www.sott.net/articles/show/197307-Mississippi-Toddler-2-Helps-Mom-Give-Birth-to-Brother A 2-year-old in north Mississippi has done something few toddlers can: he helped his mother give birth to his brother. Bobbye Favazza told The Commercial Appeal she went into labor this past Friday and gave birth on the family's living room couch in Olive Branch. She said her toddler, Jeremiha Taylor, got her a towel and caught the baby before firefighters arrived to cut the umbilical cord. Favazza gave birth to a 7-pound, 4-ounce baby boy, Kamron Taylor. City emergency services supervisor, Greg Mynatt, said the 911 call about Favazza was probably the third this year about a woman in labor, but usually the mother makes it to the hospital before delivery. http://www.sott.net/articles/show/197307-Mississippi-Toddler-2-Helps-Mom-Give-Birth-to-Brother Thu, 19 Nov 2009 14:23:23 -0500 http://www.sott.net/articles/show/197294-Minneapolis-Dad-Spoke-Only-Klingon-to-Child-for-Three-Years Is this taking the whole Star Trek thing a teensie weensie bit too far? d'Armond Speers spoke only Klingon to his child for the first three years of its life. Klingon? Not Spanish, French, Mandarin? Not some gutteral genuflecting concoction from the deepest recesses of Borneo? Klingon? You heard it right. (And if you don't know about the Klingon Empire, look it up.) "I was interested in the question of whether my son, going through his first language acquisition process, would acquire it like any human language," Speers told the Minnesota Daily. "He was definitely starting to learn it." And get this, Speers says he isn't really a huge Star Trek fan. We'll take his word for it. http://www.sott.net/articles/show/197294-Minneapolis-Dad-Spoke-Only-Klingon-to-Child-for-Three-Years Thu, 19 Nov 2009 13:31:55 -0500 http://www.sott.net/articles/show/197275-Eye-on-the-Flu-Shot-from-Royal-Canadian-Airfarce http://www.sott.net/articles/show/197275-Eye-on-the-Flu-Shot-from-Royal-Canadian-Airfarce Thu, 19 Nov 2009 10:10:45 -0500 http://www.sott.net/articles/show/197231-Texans-Are-you-really-married- Maybe not. Barbara Ann Radnofsky, a Houston lawyer and Democratic candidate for attorney general, says that a 22-word clause in a 2005 constitutional amendment designed to ban gay marriages erroneously endangers the legal status of all marriages in the state. The amendment, approved by the Legislature and overwhelmingly ratified by voters, declares that "marriage in this state shall consist only of the union of one man and one woman." But the troublemaking phrase, as Radnofsky sees it, is Subsection B, which declares: "This state or a political subdivision of this state may not create or recognize any legal status identical or similar to marriage." http://www.sott.net/articles/show/197231-Texans-Are-you-really-married- Wed, 18 Nov 2009 20:38:33 -0500 http://www.sott.net/articles/show/197229-Palin-says-Glenn-Beck-clever-won-t-rule-out-Palin-Beck-ticket Former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin, asked whether she'd campaign with Fox News' personality Glenn Beck as her running mate, chuckled, but according to a conservative website, "wouldn't rule it out." "It's no secret that former GOP vice-presidential candidate Sarah Palin and Fox News host Glenn Beck share great respect and admiration -- so their fans can be forgiven for wondering: Is a 'dream ticket' of Palin-Beck ticket is completely out of the question?" Newsmax's David Patten wrote Tuesday night. "Perhaps not," he added. "Palin initially chuckled when Newsmax broached the idea," he continued. "But then she had some serious words of praise for the popular Fox personality." "I can envision a couple of different combinations, if ever I were to be in a position to really even seriously consider running for anything in the future, and I'm not there yet," Palin reportedly told Newsmax. "But Glenn Beck I have great respect for. He's a hoot. He gets his message across in such a clever way. And he's so bold - I have to respect that. He calls it like he sees it, and he's very, very, very effective." http://www.sott.net/articles/show/197229-Palin-says-Glenn-Beck-clever-won-t-rule-out-Palin-Beck-ticket Wed, 18 Nov 2009 20:05:27 -0500 http://www.sott.net/articles/show/197192-Robbers-Heat-Up-Bottle-for-Crying-Baby Several family members were tied up with duct tape Police are looking for two suspects who managed to heat up a bottle for a crying baby while robbing a home Friday morning. Indianapolis Metro Police Department detectives said two suspects forced their way into a home just after 8:30 a.m. Friday morning with intentions to rob the family. Police said two men came up to the home, in the 6100 block of East 21st Street, asking for jumper cables for a broken down car. They left, then later came back to the home and knocked on the door. That's when police said one of the suspects pulled out a shotgun and forced their way into the home, tying up two adults and a teenager. One of the robbers hit one of the adults over the head with a gun. "Then he hit me again over the head and that was it," said Morgan Adams. "It was lights out. I woke up to my buddy untying me." Police said the robbers started ransacking the house. Then, the baby in the house made his presence known. http://www.sott.net/articles/show/197192-Robbers-Heat-Up-Bottle-for-Crying-Baby Wed, 18 Nov 2009 12:59:24 -0500 http://www.sott.net/articles/show/197154-A-New-Prophet-NASA-Says-World-Will-Not-End-In-2012 NASA has launched an investigation in its efforts to prove that world will not come to an end on December 21, 2012, despite the claims of many Internet theorists. Comment: Frankly speaking, no official body or institution in the position of authority can guarantee anything like that will or will not happen at any given moment, like in 3 years. That's just illogical! The theory states that world will come to an end, based on deductions from the Mayan calendar, as a mysterious planet, Nibiru, collides with Earth. The claims have fueled a Sony Picture, titled "2012," which will come to theaters on Friday. Some Internet theorists have blamed NASA for keeping information concealed about the Earth's doomsday. "There is no factual basis for these claims," NASA said on its Web site. Comment: Could you please prove it? http://www.sott.net/articles/show/197154-A-New-Prophet-NASA-Says-World-Will-Not-End-In-2012 Wed, 18 Nov 2009 05:25:50 -0500 http://www.sott.net/articles/show/197132-Unfriend-is-2009-s-Word-of-the-Year-Geek-Lexicon-Goes-Pop Tech culture has come a long way from its widely-lambasted formative years of LAN parties, red Doritos and Mountain Dew to today, when the New Oxford Dictionary ekes our vocab and ratifies it. "Unfriend," a term used to describe deleting a social networking buddy (like your mom on Facebook) was chosen as 2009's Word of the Year. (Funny, I always thought it was defriend.) Five of the other Word of the Year finalists also came from the tech world -- two of which could have soiled tech culture's image. For instance, "sexting" -- the sending of sexually explicit text messages -- would have made us appear like sex-crazed smartphone junkies; and "intexticated" -- driving distracted while texting -- paints us to be irresponsible maniacs behind the wheel. So it's a good thing the relatively benign depiction of removing somebody from Facebook made it into Oxford Dictionary. http://www.sott.net/articles/show/197132-Unfriend-is-2009-s-Word-of-the-Year-Geek-Lexicon-Goes-Pop Tue, 17 Nov 2009 20:02:23 -0500 http://www.sott.net/articles/show/197126-Drilling-for-Scotch-Whisky-in-Antarctica Wellington, New Zealand -- A beverage company has asked a team to drill through Antarctica's ice for a lost cache of some vintage Scotch whisky that has been on the rocks since a century ago. The drillers will be trying to reach two crates of McKinlay and Co. whisky that were shipped to the Antarctic by British polar explorer Sir Ernest Shackleton as part of his abandoned 1909 expedition. http://www.sott.net/articles/show/197126-Drilling-for-Scotch-Whisky-in-Antarctica Tue, 17 Nov 2009 15:44:46 -0500 http://www.sott.net/articles/show/196881-Lock-Of-Elvis-Hair-A-Big-Hit-At-Auction A tiny strand of hair said to have been clipped from the head of Elvis Presley has sold at auction for more than £1,000. The snippet, which is mounted in a 12in by 22in frame alongside a photograph of the music legend, had been tipped to fetch up to £250. Wiltshire auctioneer Henry Aldridge and Son brought the hammer down at £1,055. The strand had been cut off and kept by Presley's barber of more than 20 years, Homer Gill Gilleland. He used to dye the singer's sandy-blond locks black, and cut his hair into a towel. http://www.sott.net/articles/show/196881-Lock-Of-Elvis-Hair-A-Big-Hit-At-Auction Sat, 14 Nov 2009 17:26:18 -0500 http://www.sott.net/articles/show/196861-Swine-Flu-Causes-Surge-of-Garlic-Sales-in-Serbia Belgrade's open-air markets were a welter of busy customers on Friday, pushing and shoving to buy one item - garlic. In Serbia, garlic has long been regarded as a good luck charm and a guard against many ailments. As far as the public is concerned, that includes the swine flu pandemic, which recently has spread in Serbia and triggered near panic among the local population. That is now evident in Belgrade's produce markets, where the price of garlic has shot up, thanks to a sudden increase in demand. The smell of the little white cloves also has become prevalent in public places as people munch on them as if eating apples. Health officials have publicly urged the population not to take garlic's healing properties so seriously. Instead, they recommend opting for more conventional precautions, such as washing hands, wearing face masks, or eventually getting vaccinated. http://www.sott.net/articles/show/196861-Swine-Flu-Causes-Surge-of-Garlic-Sales-in-Serbia Sat, 14 Nov 2009 16:29:44 -0500 http://www.sott.net/articles/show/196813-Making-the-World-More-Fun The campaign The Fun Theory of Volkswagen is a series of experiments, captured on video, to find out if making the world more fun can improve people's behavior. This one is Piano Stairs: http://www.sott.net/articles/show/196813-Making-the-World-More-Fun Fri, 13 Nov 2009 21:28:20 -0500 http://www.sott.net/articles/show/196793-Thieves-Steal-Popular-North-Carolina-Road-Sign-Again Want to know how far it is from the eastern end of Interstate 40 in North Carolina to the western end in California? You'll have to punch it into your GPS or try MapQuest. The Star-News of Wilmington reports that a popular sign showing the distance between Wilmington, N.C., and Barstow (BARHS'-toh), Calif., has been stolen for at least the fourth time - and the last. North Carolina transportation engineer Joe Chance says with the repeated thefts, there won't be another sign that tells motorists it's 2,554 miles to Barstow. That's where the interstate ends. The sign was a familiar sight to travelers heading west out of Wilmington and had been up for years. http://www.sott.net/articles/show/196793-Thieves-Steal-Popular-North-Carolina-Road-Sign-Again Fri, 13 Nov 2009 15:12:15 -0500 http://www.sott.net/articles/show/196784-Spider-Man-Impostor-Slugs-Man A man in a Spider-Man costume was arrested on outstanding warrants in Los Angeles after he allegedly hit a man on Hollywood Boulevard Wednesday, police said. First, officers had to figure out which Spider-Man impostor was which, because they found four of them dressed as the superhero about 12:30 p.m., police said. "They stopped one; it wasn't him," Lt. Beverly Lewis told the Los Angeles Times. "They stopped the second, and it was the suspect." The victim told police he was hit in the face and arms but did not want to press charges against the suspect, Christopher Loomis, 39. But Loomis was booked on outstanding misdemeanor warrants and held on $5,500 bond. http://www.sott.net/articles/show/196784-Spider-Man-Impostor-Slugs-Man Fri, 13 Nov 2009 12:33:25 -0500 http://www.sott.net/articles/show/196783-California-Great-Dane-Named-World-s-Tallest-Dog Only one animal got credit for a record Thursday, the same day Norway registered the world's largest gingerbread man; the most people hugging in one minute were in the U.K.; Italy set the mark for the fastest consumption of a bowl of pasta; Finland had the most nationalities in a single sauna; and a team from Mexico assembled the world's longest paper clip chain. In the midst of it all, Guinness World Records officially named Titan, an ailing 4-year-old white Great Dane from San Diego, as the world's tallest dog. Titan is blind, deaf, epileptic and undergoes acupuncture and chiropractic adjustments every three weeks, owner Diana Taylor said. Great Danes are built like giraffes one way and submarines the other, Taylor said, so they have spine issues. Titan is doing well on his treatments and medication. He hasn't had a seizure in a year. He is a gentle soul who befriends everyone during his daily walks on the beach and is often mistaken by young children for a horse or cow, Taylor said. http://www.sott.net/articles/show/196783-California-Great-Dane-Named-World-s-Tallest-Dog Fri, 13 Nov 2009 12:25:40 -0500 http://www.sott.net/articles/show/196703-Massachusetts-Principal-Bans-Four-Letter-Word-Meep- Utterance from The Muppet Show was used repeatedly to interrupt school Who knew "meep!" was a four-letter word? The utterance favored by bungling lab assistant Beaker of The Muppet Show has been banned at Danvers High School in Massachusetts after students said it to repeatedly interrupt school. Principal Thomas Murray says the word was part of a disruption planned using Facebook. http://www.sott.net/articles/show/196703-Massachusetts-Principal-Bans-Four-Letter-Word-Meep- Thu, 12 Nov 2009 20:14:29 -0500 http://www.sott.net/articles/show/196638-Thailand-Demon-spirits-tax-Thai-airport Twelve large statues of demon spirits are being moved to new positions in Thailand's main international airport. But it is not clear if the reason lies in aesthetics or superstition. Officials say the 6m (20ft) figures, modelled on statues found in the grounds of the Royal Palace, are being moved to more prominent positions. But there are local news reports that airport staff had complained the demons had been bringing bad luck and should be relocated. http://www.sott.net/articles/show/196638-Thailand-Demon-spirits-tax-Thai-airport Wed, 11 Nov 2009 19:10:48 -0500 http://www.sott.net/articles/show/196609-Hindu-Villagers-Confine-Rare-Turtle-Offer-Prayers Hundreds of poor Hindu villagers in eastern India have refused to hand over a rare turtle to authorities, saying it is an incarnation of God, officials said on Tuesday. Villagers chanting hymns and carrying garlands, bowls of rice and fruits are pouring in from remote villages to a temple in Kendrapara, a coastal district in eastern Orissa state. Policemen have struggled to control the gathering and have failed to persuade the villagers to give up the sea turtle. "We have asked the villagers to hand it over as it is illegal to confine a turtle, but they are refusing," said P.K. Behera, a senior government wildlife official. The turtle is protected in India and anyone found keeping one without permission can be jailed for a year or more and fined. But adamant villagers have refused to give up the reptile, saying the turtle bears holy symbols on its back and is an incarnation of Lord Jagannath, a popular Hindu deity. http://www.sott.net/articles/show/196609-Hindu-Villagers-Confine-Rare-Turtle-Offer-Prayers Wed, 11 Nov 2009 11:56:55 -0500 http://www.sott.net/articles/show/196607-Australia-Thief-Busted-After-Falling-Asleep-on-the-Job Police arrest man in Australia who fell asleep trying to break into a shopping centre An exhausted thief fell asleep in the process of seemingly trying to pick the lock of a shopping centre. Cops in Australia said the man was found snoozing early in the morning outside the complex in Perth with a lock-breaking wire still in his hand. Police spokesman Samuel Dinnison said: "It appears he fell asleep on the ground with the wire still in his hands and also in the door." http://www.sott.net/articles/show/196607-Australia-Thief-Busted-After-Falling-Asleep-on-the-Job Wed, 11 Nov 2009 11:44:57 -0500 http://www.sott.net/articles/show/196451-Chewing-Gum-Thefts-Rising Chewing gum theft. It sounds like a joke, like someone stealing toothpicks or thumbtacks. But reports of people stealing chewing gum are rising, police say. There's apparently a market for stolen gum, just as there is for expensive valuables such as jewelry or tools. "We've had a number of larceny cases recently involving thefts of substantial amounts of chewing gum," New Britain State's Attorney Scott Murphy said Friday. "What the motive is, we don't know. But gum thefts are increasing." Gum thievery first popped into Connecticut headlines in March, when police in Bridgeport, Fairfield and Stratford charged Kenneth McManus, 21, of Stratford, with shoplifting $800 worth of Orbit chewing gum from stores in each city. Since June, West Hartford police have investigated four gum theft complaints, including one Nov. 1, when an Enfield man was charged with stealing $175 in chewing gum from Shaw's supermarket on Kane Street. http://www.sott.net/articles/show/196451-Chewing-Gum-Thefts-Rising Mon, 09 Nov 2009 13:10:38 -0500 http://www.sott.net/articles/show/196418-UK-Burglar-sends-in-photo-of-himself-on-the-run-because-he-didn-t-like-official-police-mugshot As a wanted man, you might expect Matthew Maynard to be somewhat camera shy. But when his local paper published a mugshot of the 23-year-old in an attempt to track him down, he decided it didn't show his best side. So he provided a replacement. And if that wasn't cheeky enough, he posed for the new photograph standing next to a police van. http://www.sott.net/articles/show/196418-UK-Burglar-sends-in-photo-of-himself-on-the-run-because-he-didn-t-like-official-police-mugshot Sun, 08 Nov 2009 18:20:40 -0500 http://www.sott.net/articles/show/196408-New-Zealand-lawmaker-sculpted-in-cow-manure A sculpture of ACC and Environment Minister Nick Smith made out of cow manure has sold for $3080 on auction site TradeMe.co.nz. The bust sculpted as a protest by artist Sam Mahon, attracted 112 bids before being picked up by an anonymous buyer on Friday. Mahon said he created the sculpture, and chose the medium, to protest what he considered Dr Smith's too-soft position on dairy farm pollution. He said the bust did not smell and would last forever. http://www.sott.net/articles/show/196408-New-Zealand-lawmaker-sculpted-in-cow-manure Sun, 08 Nov 2009 16:55:42 -0500 http://www.sott.net/articles/show/196313-Ex-Blue-Cross-spokesman-says-health-insurance-worst-product-in-American-history- Teaming with the liberal Brave New Films, a former Blue Cross pitchman is now pitching against Blue Cross. Andy Cobb, who once tried to sell Floridians on a Blue Cross health insurance plan, says he's fed up with the industry. "I was a spokesman for BlueCross and Blueshield of Florida," Cobb says. "Call me a spokesjerk. People who make money for buying things you don't need. And we're telling you lies." http://www.sott.net/articles/show/196313-Ex-Blue-Cross-spokesman-says-health-insurance-worst-product-in-American-history- Fri, 06 Nov 2009 15:54:20 -0500 http://www.sott.net/articles/show/196290-DUI-Suspect-to-Cop-Dude-I-Do-This-Every-Night- A northwest Indiana man was arrested early this morning near Portage for driving with a blood-alcohol level almost four times the state's legal limit of .08 percent. "Dude, I do this every night; I'm straight up and not drunk!" Zachary R. Duis told an Indiana state trooper after he was pulled over, police said. Duis, 24, of Portage, was arrested for operating a vehicle while intoxicated. He was also wanted on two warrants out of Porter County for resisting law enforcement and furnishing alcohol to a minor, both misdemeanors. About 2:20 a.m., the Porter County sheriff's department received a call about a 1995 Chevrolet S-10 pickup truck driving erratically, state police said. A sheriff's deputy pulled the truck over on State Road 149 and 1000 North. Shortly thereafter, the trooper arrived on the scene. Duis failed field sobriety tests and was taken to the Portage Police Department for a certified breath test, state police said. http://www.sott.net/articles/show/196290-DUI-Suspect-to-Cop-Dude-I-Do-This-Every-Night- Fri, 06 Nov 2009 08:36:00 -0500 http://www.sott.net/articles/show/196287-South-Korean-Woman-Passes-Driver-s-Exam-on-950th-Try A woman in South Korea who tried to pass the written exam for a driver's license with near-daily attempts since April 2005 has finally succeeded on her 950th time. The aspiring driver spent more than 5 million won ($4,200) in application fees, but until now had failed to score the minimum 60 out of a possible 100 points needed to get behind the wheel for a driving test. Cha Sa-soon, 68, finally passed the written exam with a score of 60 on Wednesday, said Choi Young-chul, a police official at the drivers' license agency in Jeonju, 130 miles (210 kilometers) south of Seoul. Police said Cha took the test hundreds of times, but had no specific total. Local media said she took the test 950 times. Now she must pass a driving test before getting her license, Choi said. http://www.sott.net/articles/show/196287-South-Korean-Woman-Passes-Driver-s-Exam-on-950th-Try Fri, 06 Nov 2009 08:25:02 -0500 http://www.sott.net/articles/show/196279-Large-Hadron-Collider-Stalled-Again-Thanks-to-Chunk-of-Baguette The rehabilitation of the beleaguered Large Hadron Collider was on hold tonight after the failure of one of its powerful cooling units caused by an errant chunk of baguette. The £4 billion particle-collider faced more than a year of delays after a helium leak stymied the project in its first few days of operation. It is gradually being switched back on over the coming months but suffered a new setback on Tuesday morning. Scientists at the CERN particle physics laboratory in Geneva noticed that the system's carefully monitored temperatures were creeping up. Further investigation into the failure of a cryogenic cooling plant revealed an unusual impediment. A piece of crusty bread had paralysed a high voltage installation that should have been powering the cooling unit. http://www.sott.net/articles/show/196279-Large-Hadron-Collider-Stalled-Again-Thanks-to-Chunk-of-Baguette Fri, 06 Nov 2009 07:25:36 -0500 http://www.sott.net/articles/show/196264-Irish-Tricolours-daubed-on-Protestant-farmer-s-sheep Six pregnant sheep belonging to a Protestant farmer from Co Tyrone have been daubed with Irish tricolours in an apparent sectarian attack. The sheep had been left to graze in an isolated field near Ardboe when their coats were covered in green and orange paint to resemble a tricolour. According to the farmer, who does not want to be identified, there has been an upsurge in sectarian attacks in recent weeks. He said the ewes were pregnant and fears that some may lose their unborn lambs as a result of the stress they suffered during the incident. http://www.sott.net/articles/show/196264-Irish-Tricolours-daubed-on-Protestant-farmer-s-sheep Thu, 05 Nov 2009 23:55:20 -0500 http://www.sott.net/articles/show/196261-Sarah-Palin-victory-and-defeat-speeches-leaked Leaked copies of two speeches Sarah Palin prepared for last year's US election night have revealed she planned to salute her husband Todd as the nation's "first ever Second Dude" in the event of victory. In defeat, which she suffered with Senator John McCain at the hands of Barack Obama and Joe Biden, the Republican vice-presidential candidate wanted to tell Todd to "get ready for the Iron Dog snow machine race!". A new book, Sarah from Alaska, details how the then state governor fought tooth and nail to introduce Sen McCain on stage in his home town of Phoenix, Arizona, in the early hours of the morning. She decided not to tell her own staff members that permission had been denied by senior McCain staff hours before the candidates took the stage, apparently in the hope of a last minute reprieve. http://www.sott.net/articles/show/196261-Sarah-Palin-victory-and-defeat-speeches-leaked Thu, 05 Nov 2009 23:27:18 -0500 http://www.sott.net/articles/show/196252-Atlanta-Man-Rescues-a-Stray-Dog-from-Traffic-But-Ends-Up-with-10-Pooches An Atlanta man who rescued one stray dog from traffic now has his hands full with 10 pooches. The Atlanta Journal-Constitution reported Thursday that Gary DeNicola rescued the dog in late September with plans to take it to a shelter the next day. But it turns out the dog was pregnant and gave birth to nine puppies that night. Now DeNicola is running an animal shelter of sorts himself and he's looking for good homes for the dogs. The Atlanta Humane Society said many shelters are facing overcrowding and aren't accepting any more animals. http://www.sott.net/articles/show/196252-Atlanta-Man-Rescues-a-Stray-Dog-from-Traffic-But-Ends-Up-with-10-Pooches Thu, 05 Nov 2009 20:32:11 -0500 http://www.sott.net/articles/show/196240-Oklahoma-You-Hit-a-What-SUV-Nearly-Slams-into-Elephant It's not unusual to see a deer or a cow crossing Oklahoma's rural highways. But an elephant? An Oklahoma couple driving home from church nearly slammed into a giant pachyderm that had escaped from a nearby circus late Wednesday. "Didn't have time to hit the brakes. The elephant blended in with the road," driver Bill Carpenter said Thursday. "At the very last second I said 'elephant!'" Carpenter, 68, said he swerved his SUV at the last second and ended up sideswiping the 29-year-old female Asian elephant on U.S. 81 in Enid, about 80 miles north of Oklahoma City. "So help me Hanna, had I hit that elephant, not swerved, it would have knocked it off its legs, and it would have landed right on top of us," he said. "We'd have been history." The couple, who own a wheat farm, weren't injured. But the 8-foot, 4,500-pound elephant was being examined Thursday for a broken tusk and a leg wound. A local veterinarian said it appeared to have escaped major injury. "I thought this can't be happening. Out here you could hit a deer or a cow, but this can't be happening. The good Lord was with us," Carpenter said. The elephant's tusk punched through the side of the SUV, tearing up sheet metal. http://www.sott.net/articles/show/196240-Oklahoma-You-Hit-a-What-SUV-Nearly-Slams-into-Elephant Thu, 05 Nov 2009 17:00:19 -0500 http://www.sott.net/articles/show/196196-Tennessee-Man-Says-Image-of-Jesus-Appears-on-Truck-Window Jim Stevens said he's not particularly religious and is clueless about why an image resembling Jesus Christ keeps appearing on his pickup. Stevens, of Jonesborough, said nearly every morning, an image that looks to him like the face of Jesus Christ has appeared in the condensation on the driver's side window of his Isuzu truck. A Johnson City Press photo of the truck showed a facial image. Stevens said when he first saw the image, he figured it would evaporate and not return. But it kept reappearing for two weeks now. Stevens said folks at the grocery store he goes to were amazed to see the image. http://www.sott.net/articles/show/196196-Tennessee-Man-Says-Image-of-Jesus-Appears-on-Truck-Window Wed, 04 Nov 2009 21:44:15 -0500 http://www.sott.net/articles/show/196017-Canada-Man-Dressed-as-Purple-Teletubby-Wanted-by-Police An armed suspect dressed as an oversized purple Teletubby is wanted by police in London, Ontario in connection with a robbery on Halloween. A woman reports she was walking home alone just after midnight, when she was approached by a man dressed as a Teletubby, carrying a handgun. Police say he demanded money from the victim, then fled on foot with an amount of cash. The suspect is described as a 6 ft. 2 in. man weighing 200 to 240 pounds, with short dark hair, clean shaven, and a muscular build. No injuries are reported. http://www.sott.net/articles/show/196017-Canada-Man-Dressed-as-Purple-Teletubby-Wanted-by-Police Wed, 04 Nov 2009 21:35:45 -0500 http://www.sott.net/articles/show/196162-Man-Appears-Alive-at-Own-Funeral-in-Brazil A Brazilian bricklayer reportedly killed in a car crash shocked his mourning family by showing up alive at his funeral. Relatives of Ademir Jorge Goncalves, 59, had identified him as the victim of a Sunday night car crash in Parana state in southern Brazil, police said. As is customary in Brazil, the funeral was held the following day, which happened to be the holiday of Finados, when Brazilians visit cemeteries to honor the dead. What family members didn't know was that Goncalves had spent the night at a truck stop talking with friends over drinks of a sugarcane liquor known as cachaca, his niece Rosa Sampaio told the O Globo newspaper. He did not get word about his own funeral until it was already happening Monday morning. A police spokesman in the town of Santo Antonio da Platina said Goncalves rushed to the funeral to let family members know he was not dead. http://www.sott.net/articles/show/196162-Man-Appears-Alive-at-Own-Funeral-in-Brazil Wed, 04 Nov 2009 14:31:04 -0500 http://www.sott.net/articles/show/196091-The-Kim-Jong-il-that-Clinton-met-was-a-fake-says-academic Was it Kim Jong-il? Or was it a fake North Korean leader that entertained Bill Clinton on that mission to Pyongyang to retrieve the two imprisoned American journalists? In the absence of fact, the Hermit Kingdom has long been a free-fire zone for outlandish rumour. And they got more outlandish than ever after Mr Kim reputedly suffered a stroke in August 2008. Mr Kim was variously said to be close to death, about to be toppled by a coup, or desperately fixing the succession for his youngest son. Or was he really someone else? The mainstay of the Kim-is-fake cottage industry is a Japanese university professor called Toshimitsu Shigemura, who once claimed that the real Mr Kim died in 2003, and that everything since has been make-believe. One Mr Kim, he maintains, even flatly confessed to a Japanese visitor, "I am a double." http://www.sott.net/articles/show/196091-The-Kim-Jong-il-that-Clinton-met-was-a-fake-says-academic Tue, 03 Nov 2009 09:53:48 -0500 http://www.sott.net/articles/show/196083-Woman-calls-911-to-report-herself-as-drunk-driver Neilsville, Wisconsin - The call came into the 911 dispatcher: "I don't want to hurt anybody. I'm drunk." And with that, Mary Strey, 49, of Granton, reported herself as a drunken driver about three miles northeast of Neilsville in central Wisconsin. Clark County Sheriff's Chief Deputy Jim Backus said Monday that Strey's call on Oct. 24 led deputies to cite her for misdemeanor drunken driving with a blood-alcohol level double the legal limit to drive. She makes her first court appearance Dec. 10. http://www.sott.net/articles/show/196083-Woman-calls-911-to-report-herself-as-drunk-driver Mon, 02 Nov 2009 23:34:56 -0500 http://www.sott.net/articles/show/196059-Mystery-dream-man-becomes-internet-hit-Have-you-seen-this-man-in-your-dreams- Balloon Boy has competition. It arrives at night from "This Man." An elaborate campaign is swirling around the image of a simple, bushy-browed man, who is said to be invading people's dreams. Over the past week, This Man has appeared in mainstream newspapers from England to China, as well as found a home on YouTube and countless blogs. http://www.sott.net/articles/show/196059-Mystery-dream-man-becomes-internet-hit-Have-you-seen-this-man-in-your-dreams- Mon, 02 Nov 2009 19:17:46 -0500 http://www.sott.net/articles/show/196020-Jon-Stewart-Eviscerates-Fox-News-Video- Jon Stewart dedicated more than 11 minutes of Thursday night's show on what he calls the "hyperbolic" war between the White House and Fox News. Though he certainly gave the White House a few nudges for saying they are "speaking truth to power" by fighting with Fox, Stewart spends the majority of the segment putting together one of the best and biggest takedowns of the network we have ever seen. The meatiest part involves For News Senior Vice President Michael Clemente's claim that Fox's designated "news" hours are from 9AM to 4PM and 6-8PM. Stewart explains: For the audience here, let me help you out--because it does get confusing. The three hours you spend in the morning with "Fox & Friends": not news. Your 4 o'clock to 5 o'clock post-tea and crumpets Neil Cavudo break: not news. The 5 o'clock to 6 o'clock emotional whirlwind and national group therapy session that is Glenn Beck: not even close to news. O'Reilly, Hannity, van Susteren-en-en-en: not news. This is according to Fox News. Those people--the ones featured in promos about how fair and balanced Fox News is--are not news. These people--otherwise known as the only people you ever think of when you think of Fox News--are not news. They are Fox 'opinutainment.' That's our favorite part. Please watch and tell us what yours is: http://www.sott.net/articles/show/196020-Jon-Stewart-Eviscerates-Fox-News-Video- Mon, 02 Nov 2009 10:47:31 -0500 http://www.sott.net/articles/show/195992-Stay-away-from-anonymous-stock-calls-during-results-season Indian stock markets (or perhaps just India's investing media) is in the grip of someone called Mr Expector, whose behaviour is now almost as strange as the famous Mr market. Investment homilies often refer to someone called Mr Market, a character which embodies the market. The originator of Mr Market was the great Benjamin Graham, many of whose investing parables have a person called Mr Market. Invariably, Graham's Mr Market is an unstable, neurotic character who is susceptible every irrational knee-jerk that investors are capable of. While reading news reports and viewing business news about the stock markets, I have recently detected a similar character whose sole task seems to be go around expecting mutually contradictory things to happen simultaneously. As I am writing this, Mr Expector has excelled himself with some amazing expectations about the quarterly numbers of both Reliance Industries and Bharti Airtel. In both cases, the pink newspapers as well as the business channels were victims of Mr Expector's conspiracies. He told a certain set of people that both these companies' quarterly numbers will be good and another set of people that the numbers will be bad. http://www.sott.net/articles/show/195992-Stay-away-from-anonymous-stock-calls-during-results-season Mon, 02 Nov 2009 02:10:45 -0500 http://www.sott.net/articles/show/195978-Sports-fan-dressed-as-sheep-set-alight A 24-year-old football fan dressed as a sheep suffered serious burns to his arms and legs when his suit caught fire on a train in Fife. Aberdeen fans said the man ran ablaze through the carriage as others threw beer on him to douse the flames. The Edinburgh to Aberdeen service was stopped at Kirkcaldy at about 1900 GMT on Saturday to allow him to be treated. British Transport Police said a 23-year-old man had been arrested in connection with the incident. http://www.sott.net/articles/show/195978-Sports-fan-dressed-as-sheep-set-alight Sun, 01 Nov 2009 20:01:46 -0500 http://www.sott.net/articles/show/195922-How-to-get-your-doctor-to-sing-Happy-Birthday-while-he-washes-his-hands-satire- I recently saw a poster in a medical building that stopped me cold. It was about influenza, and it said the following: To avoid spreading germs, wash your hands for as long as it takes to sing Happy Birthday to yourself. I did a double take. Really? Wash your hands while you sing Happy Birthday as a timing mechanism? Apparently, this is an important bit of advice for teaching the masses how to successfully wash their own hands. I guess they couldn't use Row, Row, Row Your Boat because that song just goes on forever, and people would be stuck at the sink washing their hands like disturbed obsessive-compulsive hand washing addicts. http://www.sott.net/articles/show/195922-How-to-get-your-doctor-to-sing-Happy-Birthday-while-he-washes-his-hands-satire- Sun, 01 Nov 2009 10:35:25 -0500 http://www.sott.net/articles/show/195847-112-Year-Old-Somali-Centenarian-Weds-17-Year-Old A man claiming to be 112 married a 17-year-old at a ceremony in central Somalia, his sixth wedding in total but his first in three quarters of a century, he said Thursday. "My wife is ten times younger than me but we love each other so much and I believe that I can give her the kind of love that not any young man can offer," Ahmed Mohamed Dhore told AFP. "Married life is about love and passion rather than age and beauty," said the centenarian, whose wedding ceremony in the town of Guriel was attended by hundreds on Wednesday. "The first time I got married was so long ago I cannot remember and the last time must have been about 75 years ago, I was still a young man," he said. http://www.sott.net/articles/show/195847-112-Year-Old-Somali-Centenarian-Weds-17-Year-Old Fri, 30 Oct 2009 13:46:00 -0400 http://www.sott.net/articles/show/195838-Dumb-American-criminals-attempt-robbery-with-permanent-marker-pen-disguises- Two hapless robbers in America, Matthew McNelly and Joey Miller, have been arrested with the "worst disguises ever" after trying to hide their faces with permanent marker pen. McNelly, 23, and Miller, 20 were arrested by armed police in Carroll, Iowa, last Friday after witnesses reported seeing two men trying to break into an apartment with fake beards and "masks" scrawled on their faces. Police responding to a call about the attempted burglary later pulled over a car matching the alleged suspects' vehicle. When they stopped their 1994 Buick Roadmaster, bewildered police discovered the drunk hapless pair - nicknamed "dumb and dumber" - complete with makeshift disguises. http://www.sott.net/articles/show/195838-Dumb-American-criminals-attempt-robbery-with-permanent-marker-pen-disguises- Fri, 30 Oct 2009 11:57:09 -0400 http://www.sott.net/articles/show/195780-Anti-Terror-Keystone-Cops-in-Action- http://www.sott.net/articles/show/195780-Anti-Terror-Keystone-Cops-in-Action- Thu, 29 Oct 2009 12:24:28 -0400 http://www.sott.net/articles/show/195746-Alberta-Girl-5-Saves-Mother-s-Life-After-Horrific-Crash Nikki Butler has always known her five-year-old daughter Mary was special. Now she's calling the little girl her hero. Mary and Nikki Butler of Lundbreck, a hamlet west of Pincher Creek, were travelling through the Crowsnest Pass when the mother's truck hit a patch of black ice. It slid across the road, hit a guardrail and flipped four times down a steep embankment. Once the vehicle came to a stop, the girl saw that her mother was bleeding from a gash on her forehead. She had also lost consciousness. Mary tried to wake her, but there was no response. http://www.sott.net/articles/show/195746-Alberta-Girl-5-Saves-Mother-s-Life-After-Horrific-Crash Wed, 28 Oct 2009 21:41:54 -0400 http://www.sott.net/articles/show/195725-Satire-or-is-it-U-S-Continues-Quagmire-Building-Effort-In-Afghanistan Kabul, Afghanistan - According to sources at the Pentagon, American quagmire-building efforts continued apace in Afghanistan this week, as the geographically rugged, politically unstable region remained ungovernable, death tolls continued to rise, and the grim military campaign persisted as hopelessly as ever. In fact, many government officials now believe that the United States and its allies could be as little as six months away from their ultimate goal: the total quagmirification of Afghanistan. "We've spent a lot of time and money fostering the turmoil and despair necessary to make this a sustaining quagmire, and we're not going to stop now," President Barack Obama said in a national address Monday night. "It won't be easy, but with enough tactical errors on the ground, shortsighted political strategies, and continued ignorance of our vast cultural differences, we could have a horrific, full-fledged quagmire by 2012." http://www.sott.net/articles/show/195725-Satire-or-is-it-U-S-Continues-Quagmire-Building-Effort-In-Afghanistan Wed, 28 Oct 2009 14:18:53 -0400 http://www.sott.net/articles/show/195700-Surprised-by-Disaster In re Afghanistan, why, you might ask, is the world's hugest, expensivest, most begadgeted military unable to defeat a few thousand angry tribesmen armed with AKs and RPGs? Easy: Character. The men running the war are mentally the wrong ones to do it. Think about this for a moment. Suppose that your boss at the lab or law firm or newsroom demanded that, when he entered the room, you leapt spasmodically to your feet, stood rigidly erect with your feet at a forty-five degree angle like a congenitally deformed duck, and stared straight ahead until he gave you permission to relax. You would think, correctly, that he was crazy as a bedbug. If he then required reporters to stand in a square so he could inspect their belt buckles, you would either figure he was a gay blade or call for a struggle buggy and some big orderlies. This weird posturing is not normal, nor are those it appeals to. http://www.sott.net/articles/show/195700-Surprised-by-Disaster Wed, 28 Oct 2009 08:08:59 -0400 http://www.sott.net/articles/show/195536-Michigan-Man-Claims-He-s-Cockroach-King A Michigan man says he expects Guinness World Records to award him the world record for fitting the most cockroaches in his mouth. Sean Murphy of Lansing, whose age was not reported, said it likely will be weeks until he officially learns whether the 16 Madagascar hissing cockroaches he held in his mouth for 10 seconds will be recognized as a world record, the Lansing State Journal reported Sunday. Murphy apparently broke the record of 11 cockroaches Friday night by holding 12 in his mouth for the mandated 10 seconds. Then he sought to extend his unofficial record to 16. "I've never gotten it in one try so that was a big surprise," he said of his unusual feat. Murphy told the State Journal his days of putting cockroaches in his mouth are not yet behind him. http://www.sott.net/articles/show/195536-Michigan-Man-Claims-He-s-Cockroach-King Sun, 25 Oct 2009 18:53:57 -0400