http://www.sott.net/signs/list_by_category/15-Don-t-Panic-Lighten-Up- Signs of the Times: The World for People who Think. Featuring alternative news and commentary on world events. en-us Original content Copyright 2012 by Signs of the Times/Sott.net. For other content, see our Fair Use Policy at www.sott.net. Fri, 25 May 2012 10:19:16 -0500 http://www.sott.net/images/sottlogo_rss.jpg SOTT.net http://www.sott.net http://www.sott.net/articles/show/245897-Beer-guzzling-cows-crash-backyard-party Cows on the loose in Boxford, Mass., crashed a backyard party last weekend, and went right for the beer. "They enjoyed it. There's no doubt about it. They went right for the beer and then when one was done, they'd knock another one over and take care of that beer," Lt. James Riter of the Boxford Police Department told NBC affiliate WHDH.com. Police said they heard reports of screams from a group of women as five or six cows stumbled into the yard, eagerly hurtling toward the beers. "They got up as the cows went toward the table. They stepped back and the cows took over the table, knocking over the beers with their noses, drinking the beer off the table. They went to the recycling bin to find any leftovers," Riter told the TV station. A caller told the 911 dispatcher: "We thought they were deer, but they're huge, huge, huge cows. There's got to be five or six of them." Andrea Poritzky also called 911 after spotting "about six cows" in her yard. "I don't own cows," she said. "I was initially a little nervous. And then after I found it very comical and not very surprising due to the fact that we live in the country here," Poritzky said. A police escort rounded up the cows and returned them to a farm about a mile away. http://www.sott.net/articles/show/245897-Beer-guzzling-cows-crash-backyard-party Fri, 25 May 2012 10:19:08 -0500 http://www.sott.net/articles/show/245877-Aisle-Shook-Up-Vicar-Quits-the-Church-to-Become-Elvis-Impersonator There will be a little less congregation and a little more action for this former vicar from now on following his decision to quit the church to become an Elvis impersonator. Reverend Andy Kelso made the shock decision after he received a message from God to spread the word of the King while he was out walking his dogs. The 64-year-old has now swapped the Church of England for that of Elvis after setting up the Elvis Gospel Tribute Act. 'One day I was out walking the dogs in between church services and I felt God say to me very strongly "take Elvis to the church", revealed Elvis Prayersley. 'It was a shock but after one concert there was a lot of interest from churches who wanted to connect with their communities and my tribute act seems to connect. 'When I play, the venues are packed out and I've not looked back since.' http://www.sott.net/articles/show/245877-Aisle-Shook-Up-Vicar-Quits-the-Church-to-Become-Elvis-Impersonator Thu, 24 May 2012 23:39:23 -0500 http://www.sott.net/articles/show/245779-Satire-Group-emails-idea-floated-for-180-trillion Entrepreneur Roy Hobbs has made £180 trillion from the idea of sending group emails instead of using Facebook. The much-publicised search for the 'new Facebook' ended when 67-year-old Hobbs realised there was a gap in the market for a communication tool that doesn't pester you to meet local singles, become an elf or buy an anti-bacterial floor cleaner. Group emails visionary Hobbs said: "It's just like social networking, but without the legions of strangers. "The business model needs some work but everyone agrees that the most important thing initially is to get a massive, really cool office full of robots and 80s arcade machines." The group emails concept has caused a sensation in the online community. http://www.sott.net/articles/show/245779-Satire-Group-emails-idea-floated-for-180-trillion Tue, 22 May 2012 17:19:02 -0500 http://www.sott.net/articles/show/245661-Creativity-Eight-Girls-Pull-Best-Yearbook-Prank-Ever They may have different friends and different interests but nothing brings high school students together like alphabetical order. For the eight students at a California high school with the same last name-Nguyen- it was obvious their wallet-size snapshots would be sharing the same yearbook page. So instead of exerting their individuality with the standard Grateful Dead quote and a prom-worthy up-do, they decided to join forces for the ultimate prank. Alexandra, Angela, Angelica, Elizabeth, Emily, Isabella, Madeline and Vi Nguyen all wore the same black off-shoulder dresses and the same hairstyles. Then they went for the win. http://www.sott.net/articles/show/245661-Creativity-Eight-Girls-Pull-Best-Yearbook-Prank-Ever Sat, 19 May 2012 21:01:50 -0500 http://www.sott.net/articles/show/245458-Wild-Elephants-Gather-to-Mourn-Death-of-Elephant-Whisperer- For 12 hours, two herds of wild South African elephants slowly made their way through the Zululand bush until they reached the house of late author Lawrence Anthony, the conservationist who saved their lives. The formerly violent, rogue elephants, destined to be shot a few years ago as pests, were rescued and rehabilitated by Anthony, who had grown up in the bush and was known as the "Elephant Whisperer." For two days the herds loitered at Anthony's rural compound on the vast Thula Thula game reserve in the South African KwaZulu - to say good-bye to the man they loved. But how did they know he had died March 7? Known for his unique ability to calm traumatized elephants, Anthony had become a legend. He is the author of three books, Baghdad Ark, detailing his efforts to rescue the animals at Baghdad Zoo during the Iraqi war, the forthcoming The Last Rhinos, and his bestselling The Elephant Whisperer. http://www.sott.net/articles/show/245458-Wild-Elephants-Gather-to-Mourn-Death-of-Elephant-Whisperer- Mon, 14 May 2012 21:36:59 -0500 http://www.sott.net/articles/show/245310-Miami-Zoo-Primates-Go-Bananas-for-iPad A family of six orangutans at Miami's Jungle Island Zoological Park have been introduced to Apple iPads in an effort to bridge the communication gap between humans and the endangered animals. Finally, a believable explanation for how apes will get smart enough to enslave their human overlords -- had we only taken 20th Century Fox's Planet of the Apes franchise seriously. Today, the Herald Sun reported the orangutans -- who share 97% of their DNA with humans--have been using the iPads to "draw, play games and expand their vocabulary." It might not come as a surprise to learn the apes' interests in the tablets aren't too different from our own. Among the ape clan, the 8-year-old twins are obsessed with it. Their teenage sibling is, too. But senior members of the group aren't so enthralled with the new technology. Maybe they'd feel more comfortable using a Galaxy Tablet instead? "I think they just figure, 'I've gotten along just fine in this world without this communication skill here and the iPad, and I don't need a computer,' " explains Linda Jacobs, who oversees the program. Sounds like your older relative who still thinks you have to sign into AOL to get on the internet, doesn't it? http://www.sott.net/articles/show/245310-Miami-Zoo-Primates-Go-Bananas-for-iPad Fri, 11 May 2012 17:49:54 -0500 http://www.sott.net/articles/show/245241-Return-of-Son-of-Underwear-Bomber-The-Terrible-Horrible-Truth The Guardian has revealed that Underwear Bomber II, who was about to blow up a passenger jet with an undetectable explosive codpiece when he was somehow detected, was actually a CIA agent. Based on a number of interviews with those involved (zero is a number, right?) and my expertise as a Ph.D. Arabist and terror expert, I can tell you pretty much what happened. Underwear Bomber II - let's call him Kharah Ibnulkilab - was a CIA agent provocateur. His controller at Langley handed him fifty thousand dollars in cash and sent him to Yemen, with the promise of another fifty thousand if he could create a Return-of-Son-of-Underwear-Bomber incident to help keep the phony War on Terror going. Kharah arrived in Yemen and started going to mosques and waving around fistfuls of cash. "All of this, plus a bevy of heavenly virgins, will be yours if you promise to wire some explosives to your testicles and detonate them on an airplane," he inveighed. After he was 86ed from seventeen mosques, beaten up eleven times, robbed twice, and laughed out of thirteen of Yemen's eighteen provinces, Kharah finally took his third wad of CIA-furnished, US-taxpayer-supplied hundred dollar bills back to CIA headquarters. "Couldn't you guys just build the bomb? Then I'll turn it in and say I got it from al-Qaeda." "The CIA doesn't build bombs for terrorists," his case officer snapped. "What about the World Trade Center demolitions?' "That was the Mossad." "What about the first World Trade Center bomb, and the Oklahoma City bombs?" "That was the FBI." "Well, then send in the FBI!" So thanks to the new inter-agency cooperation protocol established by the Patriot Act, an FBI terrorist-bomb-construction team was sent to Yemen to create a detection-proof exploding codpiece. http://www.sott.net/articles/show/245241-Return-of-Son-of-Underwear-Bomber-The-Terrible-Horrible-Truth Wed, 09 May 2012 13:13:46 -0500 http://www.sott.net/articles/show/245169-Woman-reunites-with-wild-wolves-she-socialized This is probably the coolest video we've ever posted. This woman reunites with the wild wolves she once socialized, and it's a great and loving reunion. It'll put a smile on your face. :) http://www.sott.net/articles/show/245169-Woman-reunites-with-wild-wolves-she-socialized Tue, 08 May 2012 05:50:42 -0500 http://www.sott.net/articles/show/245162-What-Are-America-s-Pet-Owners-Thinking- If you didn't think American civilization was in trouble already, this ought to worry you: Americans are hiring psychics to communicate with their pets. According to Benjamin Radford of Discovery News, pet psychics claim they can use telepathy to communicate with animals, living and dead -- for about $85 an hour. I can tell pet owners what their dog is thinking for half that amount: Rover wants you to scratch him on the belly and give him a treat. I'll pop my invoice in the mail. But this isn't about telepathy so much as it is about our obsession with pets -- a reflection of a country gone nutty and soft, confused by our emotions. Look: Pets, generally, are a great thing. Social scientists explain that in our fast-paced, transient society, pets help fill the void that was once filled by close friends and extended family. I love dogs and wish I wasn't away from home so often or I'd get one. But our obsession with pets is getting out of hand. Despite our sour economy, the pet-service industry continues to grow by $2 billion a year -- to $52 billion this year. http://www.sott.net/articles/show/245162-What-Are-America-s-Pet-Owners-Thinking- Mon, 07 May 2012 23:14:36 -0500 http://www.sott.net/articles/show/245089-Goat-sacrifice-fixes-aeroplane Officials at Nepal's state-run airline have sacrificed two goats to appease Akash Bhairab, the Hindu sky god, following technical problems with one of its Boeing 757 aircraft. Nepal Airlines, which has two Boeing aircraft, has had to suspend some services in recent weeks due the problem. While many airlines might choose to tackle the problem by, say, having engineers fix the problem, Nepal Airlines opted for a more goat-centric approach. http://www.sott.net/articles/show/245089-Goat-sacrifice-fixes-aeroplane Sun, 06 May 2012 13:40:33 -0500 http://www.sott.net/articles/show/245058-Johanna-Quaas-showed-off-her-gymnastics-skills-at-the-2012-Cottbus-World-Cup-86-year-old- Octogenarian Johanna Quaas showed off her skills at the 2012 Cottbus World Cup in Germany, where she wowed the crowd with her moves, performing an impressive parallel bar and floor demonstration. Ultra flexible Johanna Quaas, 86, of Halle, Saxony, was a late starter, beginning her gymnastics training at the age of 30. But that hasn't held her back. More than fifty years on she still steals the show from her younger rivals, as a multiple time senior champion of artistic gymnastics in Germany. http://www.sott.net/articles/show/245058-Johanna-Quaas-showed-off-her-gymnastics-skills-at-the-2012-Cottbus-World-Cup-86-year-old- Sat, 05 May 2012 23:03:31 -0500 http://www.sott.net/articles/show/245041-Dog-s-bark-saves-family-from-fire A family pet which woke its owners by barking has been praised for saving them from a fire disaster. The dog alerted the mother in the early hours of Friday morning. She went downstairs to investigate and discovered a strange electrical smell in the kitchen. She woke her husband who turned off the power. The pair then found their new dishwasher had been left on over night and the heating element was glowing red. They threw a bucket of water over it but that filled the kitchen with smoke and steam. The couple, who had just returned from holiday, called the fire brigade to their home in Churchill Way, Faversham. The dog raised the alarm at 4.10am. http://www.sott.net/articles/show/245041-Dog-s-bark-saves-family-from-fire Sat, 05 May 2012 09:02:48 -0500 http://www.sott.net/articles/show/245021-Elephant-Named-Shanthi-Loves-to-Play-the-Harmonica A musically inclined elephant named Shanthi not only plays a harmonica, but composes her own tunes on it as well, according to keepers at the Smithsonian's National Zoo. The 36-year-old Asian elephant plays of her own free will (except when she gets a request) and even has her own signature style. Each of her tunes ends with a dramatic crescendo that keepers wait for, knowing she's reached the end. Listeners then applaud, which Shanthi seems to enjoy since she comes back for more. Shanthi is a one "man" band too, since she also likes to make sounds using her body paired with other objects. http://www.sott.net/articles/show/245021-Elephant-Named-Shanthi-Loves-to-Play-the-Harmonica Fri, 04 May 2012 23:20:30 -0500 http://www.sott.net/articles/show/244966-Lost-budgie-returned-to-Japanese-owner-after-telling-police-his-address A lost budgie was taken home after it recited its entire address in full to a police officer. The bird escaped from a house in the Sagamihara district of Yokohama on Sunday morning, Kyodo News reported, and made its way to the city centre. After finding its way into a hotel, it came to rest on the shoulder of one of the guests before it was apprehended. http://www.sott.net/articles/show/244966-Lost-budgie-returned-to-Japanese-owner-after-telling-police-his-address Thu, 03 May 2012 15:55:05 -0500 http://www.sott.net/articles/show/244891-Wounded-Dog-Helps-Blind-Rescue-Dog-by-Becoming-Guide US - A blind dog in Oklahoma, who doctors recommended putting down due to his seizures, has a new lease on life after meeting Blair, who also has problems. Not only have the two dogs become best friends, but they are rehabilitating each other. Tanner is a two-year-old golden retriever who has been blind since birth due to cataracts. He also suffers from seizures, which cause him to lose control of bodily functions. Tanner was sent to Woodland West Animal Hospital in Tulsa after his owner passed away. Dr. Mike Jones describes the dog's condition to ABCas being impossible to control because no medication seemed to be working. His condition was so bad there was no way Tanner would be able to live in a home. http://www.sott.net/articles/show/244891-Wounded-Dog-Helps-Blind-Rescue-Dog-by-Becoming-Guide Tue, 01 May 2012 23:45:28 -0500 http://www.sott.net/articles/show/244607-Bears-Interrupt-Weather-Report-At-Pennsylvania-TV-Station Scranton, PA - A mama bear and three of her cubs were caught on camera at a northeastern Pennsylvania television station seconds before a live weather report was about to begin. http://www.sott.net/articles/show/244607-Bears-Interrupt-Weather-Report-At-Pennsylvania-TV-Station Thu, 26 Apr 2012 03:02:12 -0500 http://www.sott.net/articles/show/244602-Frog-Filmed-Sitting-on-Bench-Just-Like-Human The animal is making the rounds on the Internet getting more than a million views in a couple days It's usually pretty funny when animals act like humans. Just look at the dancing dog or the smoking monkey. Now it is a frog's turn. The amphibian is filmed sitting on a bench, hands on thighs, looking just like a human relaxing. http://www.sott.net/articles/show/244602-Frog-Filmed-Sitting-on-Bench-Just-Like-Human Wed, 25 Apr 2012 22:10:47 -0500 http://www.sott.net/articles/show/244511-Building-the-Better-Monster-Trap Audri is 7 years old aand wants to be a theoretical physicist when he grows up and has big plans to study robotics at MIT. He was especially inspired to make this video after seeing OK GO's This Too Shall Pass. If you would like to see what he was up to at age 5, check it out. http://www.sott.net/articles/show/244511-Building-the-Better-Monster-Trap Mon, 23 Apr 2012 19:07:19 -0500 http://www.sott.net/articles/show/244392-Eau-de-MacBook-Pro-perfume-developed If you can't afford the £1,000 price tag, then 'Eau de MacBook Pro' might satisfy your yearning for a new computer. For when you close your eyes, the fragrance is designed to mimic the scent of an Apple product being opened for the fist time. Perfumiers from Air Aroma worked around the clock to find a formula that resembled the aroma of plastic wrap, printed ink, ripped cardboard and an aluminum laptop shipped straight from a Chinese factory. http://www.sott.net/articles/show/244392-Eau-de-MacBook-Pro-perfume-developed Sat, 21 Apr 2012 17:23:38 -0500 http://www.sott.net/articles/show/244333-Impress-Your-Friends-With-The-Cargo-Cult-Prize-For-Medical-Informatics- Here is your chance to impress your colleagues holding mere Nobel Prizes: the Newlyn Research Group announces the Cargo-Cult Prize for Medical Informatics. At 100 Trillion Zimbabwe dollars (Z$100,000,000,000,000), the prize value is nominally greater than that of all Nobel Prizes ever awarded. The value of the award was chosen to reflect the inflated worth of large-scale clinical trials. http://www.sott.net/articles/show/244333-Impress-Your-Friends-With-The-Cargo-Cult-Prize-For-Medical-Informatics- Fri, 20 Apr 2012 12:00:49 -0500 http://www.sott.net/articles/show/244048-Four-Year-Old-Genius-Accepted-into-Mensa-with-an-IQ-Almost-as-High-as-Physicist-Stephen-Hawking 'Gifted' Heidi Hankins stunned examiners with her extraordinary intelligenceSat Mensa test after nursery staff struggled to find activities to challenge herUK - By the age of two, she could count to 40, draw pictures of people, recite poems and read books meant for seven-year-olds. Within a year, she was adding and subtracting. Now she is four, Heidi Hankins has an IQ of 159 - only one point below Albert Einstein's - and has become one of the youngest members of Mensa. http://www.sott.net/articles/show/244048-Four-Year-Old-Genius-Accepted-into-Mensa-with-an-IQ-Almost-as-High-as-Physicist-Stephen-Hawking Sat, 14 Apr 2012 02:15:20 -0500 http://www.sott.net/articles/show/243897-Beatles-3000 Have you noticed how historians often mess up their interpretation of events based on confused evidence. Here's an example of how it works. It's funny because there's so much truth in it. http://www.sott.net/articles/show/243897-Beatles-3000 Tue, 10 Apr 2012 13:13:48 -0500 http://www.sott.net/articles/show/243871-No-breaking-wind-burping-or-slurping-Mayor-bans-townsfolk-in-Spanish-village-from-65-types-of-rude-behaviour Townsfolk in a Spanish village have been banned from farting, burping and slurping their soup in public in a new charter to combat rude behaviour. They are among 65 indelicacies that have been outlawed by the Mayor of La Toba, 70 miles northeast of Madrid. Touching genitals, adjusting underwear or picking noses are strict no-nos, while coughing or yawning without covering mouths and speaking when eating are also barred. http://www.sott.net/articles/show/243871-No-breaking-wind-burping-or-slurping-Mayor-bans-townsfolk-in-Spanish-village-from-65-types-of-rude-behaviour Mon, 09 Apr 2012 19:06:39 -0500 http://www.sott.net/articles/show/243711-How-to-Explain-Government-to-an-Alien-from-Outer-Space-not-Mexico- Alien (A): "I've traveled across space to check on the progress of your species." Human (H): "Cool. Shall I take you to our leader?" A: "Your what?" H: "Our leader. The guy in charge." A: "The guy in charge of what?" H: "Well, in charge of everything." A: "You have one guy in charge of everything?" H: "No, no. He's in charge of Government." A: "What is 'Government'?" H: "Well, Government makes the rules for us. It tells us what we can do, and what we can't do." A: "So, Government is really smart? They come up with wise rules for you to follow?" H" "Well, mostly. But some of its rules really are stupid." A: "Do you disregard those rules?" H: "No we have to follow the rules, even if they are stupid or we disagree with them. Government punishes anyone who disobeys the rules." A: "So, you are a slave to government?" H: "No, no. It's not like that at all. Government works for us, the people. It serves us. We are the boss." A: "It tells YOU what to do. And it punishes YOU with violence if you disobey it. And, yet, you're it's boss?" H: "Yeah." A: "But there are some things government does that you don't like?" H: "Well, yeah. Not everything government does is popular. Like, spending on wars, for example." A: "What is a 'war'"? H: "It's when the Government spends the people's money on weapons and soldiers and sends them over to the other side of the world to kill a bunch of people over there and destroy their country. I don't like that the Government does this." http://www.sott.net/articles/show/243711-How-to-Explain-Government-to-an-Alien-from-Outer-Space-not-Mexico- Tue, 03 Apr 2012 17:45:33 -0500 http://www.sott.net/articles/show/243672-Brown-Dwarf-Discovered-Entering-Solar-System-Responsible-for-Changing-Weather-Patterns A brown-dwarf has been discovered outside of the Oort Cloud, heading toward the solar system. Scientists are not sure how fast it is moving, but have narrowed down the perihelion to just 0.1 AU from the Sun sometime in December of this year. "Weather patterns are changing worldwide," said TheWeatherSpace.com Senior Meteorologist Kevin Martin. "From HAARP to Chemtrails, now we are dealing with a force outside of our knowledge. This star's energy seems to be affecting Saturn as well, with consistent lightning storms and aurora." Scientists at NASA are preparing to make a statement sometime in the next month about the object entering the solar system. The star is no larger than Saturn, and stands at only a magnitude 13.0 at the moment in the constellation Scorpio. As the star nears the Sun this Fall, large coronal mass ejections will happen, according to NASA. "We are anticipating the real possibility that the magnetic fields on the Sun will interact with the dwarf star, giving numerous sunspot developments to the Sun," said NASA. http://www.sott.net/articles/show/243672-Brown-Dwarf-Discovered-Entering-Solar-System-Responsible-for-Changing-Weather-Patterns Mon, 02 Apr 2012 16:15:44 -0500 http://www.sott.net/articles/show/243604-Bear-Saves-Man-From-Mountain-Lion-Robert-Biggs-Says-Bear-Knew-Who-I-Was- Robert Biggs, 69 of Paradise, Calif., had a pretty wild encounter when he went out for a hike on Monday. Hiking near Whiskey Flats, Biggs stopped to watch a mother bear and her cub by a stream, but was jumped from behind by another animal when he turned to leave. The California man wasn't attacked by a bear, but a mountain lion. Biggs said that the mountain lion jumped on his back, forcing him to fall to his knees. "He grabbed me from behind and knocked me to the ground," Biggs told the Huffington Post. "I was on my knees. I had my rock pick out because I was on a steep incline, and I smashed the cat in the head with it. He screamed , but didn't let go." Fortunately for Biggs, the mother bear was only 40 feet away to help him. "That's when a blur on my left side grabbed the lion by its throat," said Biggs of the mother bear. "I heard tremendous screeching, some growling noises." http://www.sott.net/articles/show/243604-Bear-Saves-Man-From-Mountain-Lion-Robert-Biggs-Says-Bear-Knew-Who-I-Was- Sat, 31 Mar 2012 15:44:58 -0500 http://www.sott.net/articles/show/243594-Beatles-Fans-Need-Wheelchairs-Judges-Rule The somewhat disheartening verdict on the rock 'n' roll generation was made as a wheelchair company lost a battle to name one of its electric models the Beatle. The European Court of Justice ordered You-Q, a Dutch company, to stop using the name to promote its mobility aid after a legal challenge by Apple Corps, The Beatles' company. You-Q had attempted to trademark the word "Beatle" for the device but judges ruled there was a risk of confusion with the Fab Four. They said the company was likely to benefit unfairly from association with the band. The judges accepted that there was a distinct contrast between the "freedom and youth" represented by The Beatles' music and the reduced mobility of You-Q's customers. However, they said many baby boomers might now be in the market for a wheelchair and might therefore be susceptible to such advertising. http://www.sott.net/articles/show/243594-Beatles-Fans-Need-Wheelchairs-Judges-Rule Fri, 30 Mar 2012 20:19:13 -0500 http://www.sott.net/articles/show/243486-Cash-Mobs-gather-to-splurge-in-locally-owned-stores Cleveland, Ohio - Flash mobs have been blamed as a factor in looting during urban riots. But now a group of online activists is harnessing social media like Twitter and Facebook to get consumers to spend at locally owned stores in cities around the world in so-called Cash Mobs. At the first International Cash Mob day on Saturday, wallet- toting activists gathered in as many as 200 mobs in the United States and Europe, with the aim of spending at least $20 a piece in locally owned businesses, according to the concept's founder, Cleveland lawyer Andrew Samtoy. "It's my baby but I'm not a helicopter parent," Samtoy told a crowd of more than 100 people gathered Saturday at Nature's Bin, a grocery store that specializes in local and organic food, in Lakewood, an inner ring suburb of Cleveland. The 32-year-old dreamed up the Cash Mob idea last year after spending time in Britain during summer riots that unleashed looting in cities including London, Manchester and Birmingham. His first Cash Mob, in Cleveland last November, brought around 40 shoppers packing in to the Visible Voice book shop, on a welcome spree in which each of them spent on average $40 within an hour-and-a-half. "We are kind of slow in November so I wasn't going to turn it down," said the independent book store's owner, Dave Ferrante, who estimated he made about eight times his normal take on that day. "We have a very limited marketing budget and it brought in people who wouldn't have been here. It sounds corny but we really build a base one customer at a time," he added. After the original Cash Mob in Cleveland, Samtoy's Facebook friends in other cities picked up on the idea and organized their own gatherings. Samtoy can rattle off a list of friends from Los Angeles to Boston, from church camp to law school, who were the 'early adapters' of the Cash Mob phenomenon. http://www.sott.net/articles/show/243486-Cash-Mobs-gather-to-splurge-in-locally-owned-stores Tue, 27 Mar 2012 10:25:52 -0500 http://www.sott.net/articles/show/243389-25-000-bees-take-over-man-s-car Brighton, Tenn.- How do you get rid of 25,000 bees that have decided to hang out on your car? One Tennessee man had to find out the hard way. Perhaps the bees thought the Hill family drove a pretty sweet ride because a very large colony decided to make their car its home. "Bees naturally prefer a hollow tree or something like that, but for some reason they got it in their head that the engine in this vehicle was a tree," said bee keeper Bill Hughes. Tommy Hill was heading out for breakfast when he found thousands of honey bees nesting on his car. He didn't want to kill them so he tried something else. "I drove down Highway 51 about 60 miles an hour and I didn't lose a one," he said. "They all stayed in there." http://www.sott.net/articles/show/243389-25-000-bees-take-over-man-s-car Sat, 24 Mar 2012 14:37:20 -0500 http://www.sott.net/articles/show/242744-Scenes-From-the-Nanny-State-Marlhaven-Lights Brian attempts to purchase a pack of Marlhaven Lights. http://www.sott.net/articles/show/242744-Scenes-From-the-Nanny-State-Marlhaven-Lights Sat, 10 Mar 2012 10:58:52 -0600 http://www.sott.net/articles/show/242736-Fox-Attack-Man-was-Cornered-and-Mugged-by-a-Fox (United Kingdom) Seb Baker, 29, weighs 15 stone but was attacked by the common red fox as he walked home from the supermarket. The civil servant has revealed the wily fox, which had been sitting on a kerb at the side of the road, followed him into an alleyway. There, he told the Sun newspaper, the aggressive animal leapt at him, circling him like prey and trying to snatch his shopping bag. Despite making attempts to escape, the fox persisted and carried out a sustained attack on the food he had just bought from Tesco. Eventually, Mr Baker claims, he resorted to offering the animal his loaf of garlic bread and the fox scampered off. Mr Baker, from Orpington, Kent, told the Sun: "I had expected it to run away. I thought a fox would be scared of a 15-stone man. http://www.sott.net/articles/show/242736-Fox-Attack-Man-was-Cornered-and-Mugged-by-a-Fox Sat, 10 Mar 2012 02:18:16 -0600 http://www.sott.net/articles/show/242585-Satan-Terminates-Relationship-with-Rush-Limbaugh In the aftermath of his most recent demeaning and misogynistic tirade against women, this time aimed at Georgetown University Law student Sandra Fluke, Rush Limbaugh has been hemorraghing advertisers. Last night, yet another sponsor pulled his support: Satan. A breaking news release from Andy Borowitz, via the Borowitz Report, states that "Embattled radio host Rush Limbaugh suffered another major desertion today as he lost the support of one of his longtime sponsors, Satan. "The usually reclusive Prince of Darkness announced his decision at a hastily called press conference in Columbus, Ohio, his unofficial headquarters on Earth." http://www.sott.net/articles/show/242585-Satan-Terminates-Relationship-with-Rush-Limbaugh Tue, 06 Mar 2012 16:11:32 -0600 http://www.sott.net/articles/show/242535-The-Adventures-of-Miviludes Join moral crusaders and inquisitors supreme Alain Vivien and Georges Fenech as they set off on another thrill-seeking anti-cult adventure! The Adventures of Miviludes from Mivi Ludes on Vimeo. http://www.sott.net/articles/show/242535-The-Adventures-of-Miviludes Mon, 05 Mar 2012 13:22:05 -0600 http://www.sott.net/articles/show/242288-Don-t-Think-the-1-Aren-t-Suffering-Too-True-Not-Satire- Andrew Schiff was sitting in a traffic jam in California this month after giving a speech at an investment conference about gold. He turned off the satellite radio, got out of the car and screamed a profanity. "I'm not Zen at all, and when I'm freaking out about the situation, where I'm stuck like a rat in a trap on a highway with no way to get out, it's very hard," Schiff, director of marketing for broker-dealer Euro Pacific Capital Inc., said in an interview. Schiff, 46, is facing another kind of jam this year: Paid a lower bonus, he said the $350,000 he earns, enough to put him in the country's top 1 percent by income, doesn't cover his family's private-school tuition, a Kent, Connecticut, summer rental and the upgrade they would like from their 1,200-square- foot Brooklyn duplex. "I feel stuck," Schiff said. "The New York that I wanted to have is still just beyond my reach." http://www.sott.net/articles/show/242288-Don-t-Think-the-1-Aren-t-Suffering-Too-True-Not-Satire- Wed, 29 Feb 2012 10:55:14 -0600 http://www.sott.net/articles/show/242282-Unusual-animal-behaviour-Otter-cubs-wander-into-post-office-and-restaurant-in-Scotland Two otter cubs have been rescued after wandering into a post office and nearby restaurant. Male cub Roy, who is 12 weeks old, was found hiding underneath the counter of a post office in the village of Caol, Fort William, on February 16. A few days later, 10-week-old female Linnhe wandered into the nearby seafood restaurant Crannog on February 20. The pair are not thought to be siblings but are likely to have come from the same area of water and have been named after a nearby loch and river. They are now being cared for by the Scottish SPCA at the charity's Wildlife Rescue Centre in Fife. Centre manager Colin Seddon said: "It's highly unusual for one otter to walk into a public place, let alone two. http://www.sott.net/articles/show/242282-Unusual-animal-behaviour-Otter-cubs-wander-into-post-office-and-restaurant-in-Scotland Wed, 29 Feb 2012 09:33:05 -0600 http://www.sott.net/articles/show/241974-Satire-Person-Who-Will-One-Day-Become-Warlord-Ruler-Of-What-Was-Once-Nebraska-Born-In-Omaha-Hospital Bellevue, NE - Shortly after 8 a.m. Tuesday, Landon Matthew Crowley, a 7-pound, 14-ounce baby boy and the future warlord who will rule over the charred remnants of what was once the state of Nebraska, was welcomed into the world at Omaha's Methodist Hospital, sources reported. Born to Jack and Monica Crowley of Bellevue, NE, the child is reported to be healthy and happy and unaware that he'll one day violently subdue dozens of warring, radiation-scarred factions under a brutal regime of torture and forced fealty the likes of which the Gamma Quadrant wasteland has never seen. According to Mr. Crowley, both mother and future mass-murdering tyrant are now resting at home and "doing great." "I can't believe he's finally here, my beautiful baby boy," said the boy's elated mother who, in 12 years' time, will be ruthlessly gunned down before her son's eyes by Prism Syndicate mech-infantry fighting in the gruesome Mineral Wars that will leave the former United States utterly demolished. "I'm so happy." http://www.sott.net/articles/show/241974-Satire-Person-Who-Will-One-Day-Become-Warlord-Ruler-Of-What-Was-Once-Nebraska-Born-In-Omaha-Hospital Thu, 23 Feb 2012 09:45:25 -0600 http://www.sott.net/articles/show/241905-Exclusive-Interview-Donald-Rumsfeld-Defends-Predator-Drones I was lucky enough to catch up with Donald Rumsfeld, former Secretary of Defense, at the Edward Teach Memorial Golf Course and Scuba Diving Facility outside of Kingston, Jamaica. Rummy had hit two horrible shots in a row, badly slicing both of his balls, and was in a foul mood. Interviewer Hey Rummy, you aim golf balls even worse than predator drones! Rumsfeld Watch out, asshole, or I'll aim one at you. Interviewer If you did, I'd be the safest guy on the fairway. Rumsfeld There are known knowns, known unknowns, unknown knowns, and unknown unknowns. You're an unknown unknown. Bug off. Interviewer Actually, I wanted to ask you a few questions about predator drones. Rumsfeld (chuckling) You don't say! That happens one of my favorite topics. After all, I pioneered them! Obama uses them more than we did, so he gets the Nobel Peace Prize! Is that unfair, or what? (The rest of the interview was conducted intermittently, between the 9th and 11th holes.) http://www.sott.net/articles/show/241905-Exclusive-Interview-Donald-Rumsfeld-Defends-Predator-Drones Tue, 21 Feb 2012 23:19:58 -0600 http://www.sott.net/articles/show/241849-Lyze-the-happiest-owlet Lyze is a little owl, who likes to be cuddled. Enjoy his happiness! :) http://www.sott.net/articles/show/241849-Lyze-the-happiest-owlet Tue, 21 Feb 2012 03:28:37 -0600 http://www.sott.net/articles/show/241624-Toys-cannot-hold-protest-because-they-are-not-citizens-of-Russia-officials-rule Siberian authorities ban protest by 100 Kinder Surprise toys, 100 Lego people, 20 model soldiers, 15 soft toys and 10 toy cars There hadn't been many - indeed any - rallies like it before in Russia. Last month saw dozens of toys, from teddy bears to Lego figurines, standing out in the snow of a Siberian city with banners complaining about corruption and electoral malpractice. At the time, Russian authorities in Barnaul declared the protest "an unsanctioned public event". Now a petition to hold another protest featuring 100 Kinder Surprise toys, 100 Lego people, 20 model soldiers, 15 soft toys and 10 toy cars has been rejected because the toys have been deemed not to be "citizens of Russia". "As you understand, toys, especially imported toys, are not only not citizens of Russia but they are not even people," Andrei Lyapunov, a spokesman for Barnaul, told local media. http://www.sott.net/articles/show/241624-Toys-cannot-hold-protest-because-they-are-not-citizens-of-Russia-officials-rule Thu, 16 Feb 2012 10:00:54 -0600 http://www.sott.net/articles/show/241568-US-700-Club-Personality-Accused-of-Stealing-Husband-s-Porn Tamara Lowe, a frequent guest on The 700 Club and author of the book Get Motivated, and her husband Peter are in the midst of an acrimonious divorce that just got uglier: in court documents, Peter accused Tamara and her new boyfriend of stealing his porn. According to south Florida website Gossip Extra, the Christian motivation speaker and her spouse are on the verge of closing their marriage of 24 years. In a motion filed to the court, Peter Lowe claimed Tamara's new boyfriend and two other men stole items from his Miami house while he was in Las Vegas, including porn videos. Other items reported as missing include photos, five laptops, a desktop and boxes of documents. Lawyers from Tamara Lowe claimed that their client returned all of her husband's items. The couple developed a $100 million business based on Tamara Lowe's best selling book Get Motivated. The book's success led them to create "Get Motivated Seminars" and secure guests such as former First Lady Laura Bush and former Secretary of State Colin Powell to speak at their events. http://www.sott.net/articles/show/241568-US-700-Club-Personality-Accused-of-Stealing-Husband-s-Porn Tue, 14 Feb 2012 15:59:30 -0600 http://www.sott.net/articles/show/241504-Swiss-Man-Installs-Wood-burning-Stove-in-Car Yo, dawg, we heard you like wood-burning stoves... Europe is currently experiencing a pretty nasty cold snap. With plummeting temperatures, huge amounts of snow, and treacherous roads, it's hardly surprising that a number of people have lost their lives as a result of the bad weather. However, it seems one man in Switzerland is determined to ward off the cold no matter what -- even if it means resorting to rather unconventional methods. This is Pascal Prokop. Pascal drives a 1990 Volvo 240 station wagon, which he has, uh, improved, with the addition of a real wood-burning stove. According to the captions on the photos, which are credited to Reuters, Mr. Prokop obtained an operating permit for his stove-car from the Swiss Technical Inspection Authority, making it perfectly legal to operate. We're sure it's perfectly safe. Apart from the fire. http://www.sott.net/articles/show/241504-Swiss-Man-Installs-Wood-burning-Stove-in-Car Mon, 13 Feb 2012 10:25:26 -0600 http://www.sott.net/articles/show/241467-US-Virginia-To-Deny-Gay-Adoption-On-Religious-Grounds The war against the LGBT community is alive and well in the state of Virginia, and children are being caught in the crossfire. On Friday, the Virginia Senate passed SB 349, which gives private adoption agencies the power to deny the placement of children with same-sex couples on religious grounds. Known as the 'conscience clause' bill, the bill allows adoption agencies to deny same-sex couples the opportunity to adopt children, even if they are well qualified to do so. The Senate passed the bill along partisan lines 22-18 and the House has already passed a version of the bill. Governor McDonnell is expected to sign the bill the second it hits his desk. The bill is supposedly being passed to defend the religious freedom of faith based adoption agencies, of which there are over 80. Many of the agencies also happen to be state funded, which begs the question: How is it possible for government money to be used to violate the First Amendment? The answer, of course, is that it shouldn't be. http://www.sott.net/articles/show/241467-US-Virginia-To-Deny-Gay-Adoption-On-Religious-Grounds Sat, 11 Feb 2012 17:15:38 -0600 http://www.sott.net/articles/show/241435-Satire-Iran-Worried-U-S-Might-Be-Building-8-500th-Nuclear-Weapon Tehran - Amidst mounting geopolitical tensions, Iranian officials said Wednesday they were increasingly concerned about the United States of America's uranium-enrichment program, fearing the Western nation may soon be capable of producing its 8,500th nuclear weapon. "Our intelligence estimates indicate that, if it is allowed to progress with its aggressive nuclear program, the United States may soon possess its 8,500th atomic weapon capable of reaching Iran," said Iranian foreign minister Ali Akbar Salehi, adding that Americans have the fuel, the facilities, and "everything they need" to manufacture even more weapons-grade fissile material. http://www.sott.net/articles/show/241435-Satire-Iran-Worried-U-S-Might-Be-Building-8-500th-Nuclear-Weapon Fri, 10 Feb 2012 15:20:53 -0600 http://www.sott.net/articles/show/241411-George-Carlin-and-the-Illusion-of-Freedom Do we really have freedom of choice? George Carlin was a brilliant man able to get the message across using comedy as the tool. Perhaps we should have listened more and laughed less when he spoke. http://www.sott.net/articles/show/241411-George-Carlin-and-the-Illusion-of-Freedom Fri, 10 Feb 2012 07:16:54 -0600 http://www.sott.net/articles/show/241391-US-Wisconsin-12-Year-Old-Boy-Saves-His-Grandmother-s-House-from-Foreclosure video platform video management video solutions video player A 12-year-old Wisconsin boy intervened when he learned that his grandmother's home was scheduled for auction. Noah Lamaide raised $10,500 in one month to save his grandmother's century-old home from the chopping block. "I wasn't even sure I was going to make it," Noah told ABC News. "I called our local representative, the governor, the president, not asking for money but asking them to help me find a program and they couldn't do it," Sparhawk told Fox News. "But this 12-year-old could. He saved this house." Noah's grandmother, Janice Sparhawk, fell behind on her mortgage payments after taking out money to replace the roof of the home built by her grandfather. http://www.sott.net/articles/show/241391-US-Wisconsin-12-Year-Old-Boy-Saves-His-Grandmother-s-House-from-Foreclosure Fri, 10 Feb 2012 00:30:03 -0600 http://www.sott.net/articles/show/241252-UK-Police-officer-chased-himself-after-being-mistaken-for-burglar An undercover police officer "chased himself round the streets" for 20 minutes after a CCTV operator mistook him for suspect. The junior officer, who has not been named, was monitoring an area hit by a series of burglaries in an unnamed market town in the country's south. As the probationary officer from Sussex Police searched for suspects, the camera operator radioed that he had seen someone "acting suspiciously" in the area. But he failed to realise that it was actually the plain-clothed officer he was watching on the screen, according to details leaked to an industry magazine. http://www.sott.net/articles/show/241252-UK-Police-officer-chased-himself-after-being-mistaken-for-burglar Tue, 07 Feb 2012 16:35:10 -0600 http://www.sott.net/articles/show/241239-The-Psychopath-Speaks-Henry-Kissinger-If-You-Can-t-Hear-the-Drums-of-War-You-Must-Be-Deaf-Satire- New York, USA - In a remarkable admission by former Nixon era Secretary of State, Henry Kissinger, reveals what is happening at the moment in the world and particularly the Middle East. Speaking from his luxurious Manhattan apartment, the elder statesman, who will be 89 in May, is all too forward with his analysis of the current situation in the world forum of Geo-politics and economics. "The United States is bating China and Russia, and the final nail in the coffin will be Iran, which is, of course, the main target of Israel. We have allowed China to increase their military strength and Russia to recover from Sovietization, to give them a false sense of bravado, this will create an all together faster demise for them. We're like the sharp shooter daring the noob to pick up the gun, and when they try, it's bang bang. The coming war will will be so severe that only one superpower can win, and that's us folks. This is why the EU is in such a hurry to form a complete superstate because they know what is coming, and to survive, Europe will have to be one whole cohesive state. Their urgency tells me that they know full well that the big showdown is upon us. O how I have dreamed of this delightful moment." http://www.sott.net/articles/show/241239-The-Psychopath-Speaks-Henry-Kissinger-If-You-Can-t-Hear-the-Drums-of-War-You-Must-Be-Deaf-Satire- Tue, 07 Feb 2012 11:45:33 -0600 http://www.sott.net/articles/show/240987-The-Plague-Of-Gay-Marriage-In-Iowa Well, gay marriage has been legal here in Iowa for going on three years now, and just as FOX News predicted, traditional marriage has all but ceased to exist in the Hawkeye state. The sinister influence of the gay agenda has spread through Iowa faster than anyone thought possible. This epidemic was so pervasive in Iowa that in just the past six months alone, you could see Santorum in public view in every one of Iowa's 99 counties. I, myself was accosted by a young man who asked directions to the nearest Bed, Bath and Beyond. Though it may sound harmless, I could read between the lines and tell what he really wanted. I was fortunate that I managed to get away before he could show me how to pick out throw pillows that complement my living room decor. Some Iowans built underground gay shelters in their back yards where they can be safe from the gay influence, while school children are being taught how to "duck and cover" when they hear the gay warning sirens go off. http://www.sott.net/articles/show/240987-The-Plague-Of-Gay-Marriage-In-Iowa Wed, 01 Feb 2012 21:59:32 -0600 http://www.sott.net/articles/show/240946-Aussie-Boss-Gives-15-Million-Bonus-to-Staff An Australian bus operator has stunned his employees by handing out Aus$15 million (US$15.9 million) in thank you bonuses, with workers saying Wednesday they were overwhelmed by his generosity. Ken Grenda, 79, sold his family-run company after 66 years and decided to put a chunk of the profits into the pockets of his employees for their hard work and loyalty. Many of his 1,800 workers thought their banks had made an error when they discovered thousands of dollars in their accounts, the Herald Sun reported. http://www.sott.net/articles/show/240946-Aussie-Boss-Gives-15-Million-Bonus-to-Staff Wed, 01 Feb 2012 12:37:53 -0600 http://www.sott.net/articles/show/240912-How-to-Handle-a-Cell-Phone-That-Rings-During-Concert Violinist Lukas Kmit responds to a Nokia ringtone that interrupts his concert. http://www.sott.net/articles/show/240912-How-to-Handle-a-Cell-Phone-That-Rings-During-Concert Tue, 31 Jan 2012 16:44:35 -0600