I am a white American Peter Pan man. Experienced early childhood divorce and parental alcoholism and neglect, TV soda pop, sugar and caffeine, public school indoctrinization and shame, rock-n-roll was my religion, and the cult of Rock Star personalities, I worshipped. Found beer when I was 16 and it gave me the illusion of being free, as an adult it has made me sick & depressed. Had a call to awaken in 1987 and it led me down a long road of pain and loss. Another call to awaken in 9/11/2001. More pain and depression. Seeking sobriety from sugar, caffeine, alcohol and illusory cultural indoctrination, including Yahweh, God, The Bible, Jesus, Iesous, Yashuah, Yesuah, all things jewish, America land of the free, Jewish Freemasonry, Jewish New Age magic slavery, Seeking the source of Divinity within me. Seeing to actualize. I am 46 and I have no formal education, no home, no car, no peers, no portfolio, no saving, no insurance, no retirement, no children.....Just hanging out, waiting. My magical ability is the power to stay here, despite this systems hatred of me.