OF THE
TIMES
Children are predisposed to believe they are inadequate because they actually are. Children can't do things that adults can do. They do spill the milk. They can't tie their shoes. They mess up when they try to do things.
As adults, we know that such inadequacy is normal. Children aren't expected to be able to do things because they are children. We understand that they have to learn. Unfortunately, children don't have that perspective. They often see their inability to do things as evidence of their inadequacy.
Good parents encourage their children when they mess up. They help the child understand that they have to learn to do new things, and that making mistakes is a normal part of learning. All parents criticize their children at times, and no parent is immune to the frustrations of raising children. But what about the parent who is overly critical? What about the parent who displays his frustration or disapproval whenever the child makes any mistake? Such parental behavior simply reinforces the child's feelings of inadequacy. The internal critic is born.
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Comment: Additional lectures by Dr. Brene Brown: The power of vulnerability