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John Stewart Takes Down Florida Pastor Planning 'Burn A Koran Day'

Last night on The Daily Show, Jon Stewart had a field day mocking Florida pastor Terry Jones for organizing an "International Burn the Koran Day" on the upcoming ninth anniversary of the 9/11 attacks.

Stewart mocked everything about Jones's planned torching of the Quran, including his use of the word "international" in the title and his ridiculous mustache. He also pointed out that various news outlets had compared the media firestorm around the event to that of the proposed "Ground Zero Mosque." Stewart noted the ridiculousness of the comparison, saying, "a Christian is an extremist for burning the Quran, and a Muslim is an extremist for reading from it."

To get some perspective on the situation, Stewart turned to John Oliver, who called Jones a "radical, hate-spewing extremist."

"This man is f***ing crazy," Oliver said. "He doesn't represent Christianity any more than "Dr. Laura represents the United Negro College Fund."

Smiley

Daily Show: Obama's Weak Stimulus & Midterm Madness


Mr. Potato

Fry Me Up, Scotty! Monster Veg Grower Shows Off World Record-Breaking Potato Shaped Like the Starship Enterprise

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© SWNSWorld's biggest: Vegetable enthusiast Sandy Davies with Peter Glazebrook's 8lbs 4oz potato at the National Gardening Show
Peter Glazebrook has boldly gone where few men have gone before - into the record books for the world's biggest potato.

The amateur gardener pulled up the giant spud - weighing a whopping 8lbs 4oz - and found it bore an uncanny resemblance to Star Trek's USS Enterprise spaceship.

The potato, which was unveiled today at the National Gardening Show in Shepton Mallet, Somerset, weighs 9oz more than the previous record holder.

Mr Glazebrook, 66, is now awaiting verification from the Guiness Book of World Records.

He said: 'The secret to success is starting with the right seed.

Newspaper

World's Shortest Man Named as 27 Inches Tall Colombian

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© The TelegraphMan the size of carry-on luggage only likely to hold the title for a month.
A 24-year-old Colombian has taken the title of the world's shortest man, measuring just 27 ins high (70cm) - slightly taller than the height restrictions for a piece of carry-on aeroplane luggage.

Edward Nino Hernandez weighs just 22lbs and has just been officially certified as the world's shortest living man by Guinness World Records.

"He hasn't grown since he was two years old," his mother, Noemi Hernandez, said of the oldest of her five living children.

The previous title-holder was He Pingping of China, who was 1.5 ins (4cm) taller and died March 13. The Guinness people discovered Nino afterward.

They say Mr Hernandez's reign is not likely to last long, however.

Smiley

Symantec Snoop Dogg rap contest site rickrolled

#hackiswacked

Symantec's attempts to link up with Snoop Dogg to launch a cybercrime rap contest have descended into farce after it emerged that vulnerabilities with a dedicated site can be easily rickrolled.

The HackIsWack.com site was reportedly taken down for maintenance on Tuesday but still harbours cross site scripting security problems, as illustrated here

Smiley

French Town's UFO Landing Pad Welcomes First Visitor

UFO Landing Pad
© Corbis The local mayor decreed that extraterrestrial visitors would be exempt from airport tax.
Arès, near Bordeaux, southwestern France, has decided to try and attract Martians to its triangular "UFOport" with its very own fake Martian craft.

Made by a local artist, the man-made UFO "landed" on the strip yesterday and, it is hoped, will entice any hesitant extraterrestrials in search of a runway. A plaque reads: "Reserved for voyagers of the universe".

The operation has been dubbed: Allo Arès, ici UFO. Arès built the pad in 1976 after a local airport electrician and UFO nut complained to local authorities that France had no alien craft strips.

The local mayor liked the idea and decreed that extraterrestrial visitors would be exempt from airport tax and could take part in any local boules or mud-skating competitions.

Smiley

Glenn Beck's rally has nothing to do with Martin Luther King Jr.

Besides the date, the location, the march and the threat of assassination, Glenn Beck's rally has nothing to do with Martin Luther King Jr.


Smiley

Satire: Man Already Knows Everything He Needs To Know About Muslims

Man
© The OnionGentries made a conscious decision to stop learning anything new about the Muslim faith on May 22, 2005.
Salina, Kansas - Local man Scott Gentries told reporters Wednesday that his deliberately limited grasp of Islamic history and culture was still more than sufficient to shape his views of the entire Muslim world.

Gentries, 48, said he had absolutely no interest in exposing himself to further knowledge of Islamic civilization or putting his sweeping opinions into a broader context of any kind, and confirmed he was "perfectly happy" to make a handful of emotionally charged words the basis of his mistrust toward all members of the world's second-largest religion.

"I learned all that really matters about the Muslim faith on 9/11," Gentries said in reference to the terrorist attacks on the United States undertaken by 19 of Islam's approximately 1.6 billion practitioners. "What more do I need to know to stigmatize Muslims everywhere as inherently violent radicals?"

Smiley

Daily Show: Glenn Beck Has a Scheme to reclaim the civil rights movement

Glenn Beck wants to reclaim the civil rights movement on the anniversary of Martin Luther King's "I Have a Dream" speech.


Smiley

Best of the Web: Evil or Just Plain Stupid? Alwaleed bin Talal is Fox News' largest shareholder

Fox News is either evil or stupid for not mentioning that Alwaleed bin Talal is News Corp.'s largest shareholder.