Don't Panic! Lighten Up!S


Mr. Potato

UK Petrol Price is a Joke, Garage Sign Targeted by Pranksters

Tesco sign
Petrol prices are a joke.
Eagle-eyed motorists were in for a surprise when pranksters tampered with a petrol station price sign.

The 24-hour Tesco garage in Fleetsbridge, Poole, Dorset, was targeted on Sunday morning.

The unleaded petrol price was changed to 25.9 pence per litre and the letters LOL - which normally stand for Laugh Out Loud - were written below it.

Fish

China: Fishy magician's mystery trick

A Chinese magician is under fire from animal activists over a mysterious magic trick involving goldfish.

In the trick, performed on January 30 for the Lunar New Year, magician Fu Yandgong apparently causes goldfish to swim in unison.

China's Capital Animal Welfare Association insists Yandgong is using magnets to control the fish in an inhumane way, but the magician has refused to reveal his secret.

Black Cat

Clepto cat caught in the act!

This naughty kitty goes around the town late at night and steals stuff for his owner.


People

Some streak: Belgium marks 250 days with no government

Image
© Virginia Mayo/APPeople in Ghent strip off at a party in ironic celebration of Belgium's lack of government.
On a makeshift stage beside Ghent's 12th-century Church of St Jacob, the boys from Baghdad, unaccustomed to being world champions at very much, meekly surrendered the trophy.

The Iraqis topped the global league table for a mere three months, seizing the silverware from the Dutch, who had enjoyed an unbroken three-decade reign at the top.

At midnight, 250 days after last June's general election left Belgium rudderless, King Albert II's realm took over the No 1 spot from Iraq, breaking the modern world record for the longest period without a government.

Across the fractured kingdom of the Belgians, it was a day of national embarrassment, celebrated by wits and pranksters countrywide.

Mr. Potato

Meet Your Strawman!

The story of how everyone has a strawman created for them at birth and how it is used to collect revenue for your government. A fun and informative animation made in the spirit of freedom. Please spread and upload with credits intact also link back to our channel if you do. Hi-res and mobile versions are avilable for download from our website.

www.infomaticfilms.com


Bell

Hong Kong: McDonalds Now Offering McWeddings

Image
© unkMcWeddings
Today a McDonald's in the financial district closed for a very special private party. Kelvin, a young model, rented out the place for a $1,282 wedding party complete with pink balloons, a "cake" stacked from apple pies, and a pair of tiny souvenir crystal M rings. The engagement party is the first to take advantage of a new McWedding service McDonald's launched in January. On Valentine's Day at a downtown McDonald's close to the financial district, the fast food joint was decked out with pink balloons, a cake stacked from apple pies, as well as a pair of tiny souvenir crystal M rings, for a surprise engagement bash thrown by Kelvin, a young model, for his girlfriend, Ashley.

The appeal to the McWeddings is the price, most notably, as it comes in well under the average cost for a Hong Kong wedding. According to the Sentinel story, "The McDonald's 'Warm and sweet wedding package,' at HK$9999 ($1282) a pop, includes wedding gifts, pink invitation cards emblazoned with golden arches, decor featuring the likes of Ronald McDonald and the Hamburglar, and classic golden arches fare worth up to $385." A bunch of food activists and artists in Finland kidnapped a Ronald McDonald statute from McDonald's and held it hostage in a series of Al-Qaeda style ransom videos. They demanded answers to questions about how McDonald's produces it food or they would guillotine the statue. Two members of the group were arrested by police and the statue was recovered, but the group went ahead and guillotined a replica anyway.

Nuke

Satire: Report Finds Troubling Rise In Teen Uranium Enrichment

Doping Party
© Onion News Network
Jean Anne Whorton goes Beyond The Facts to find out how many teens are illegally enriching uranium and selling it to rogue states.


Rocket

Satire: Republicans Vote To Repeal Obama-Backed Bill That Would Destroy Asteroid Headed For Earth

House Republicans
© UnknownHouse Republicans say the bill, which was passed to stop the giant asteroid from hitting Earth, is 'big government at its worst.'
Washington - In a strong rebuke of President Obama and his domestic agenda, all 242 House Republicans voted Wednesday to repeal the Asteroid Destruction and American Preservation Act, which was signed into law last year to destroy the immense asteroid currently hurtling toward Earth.

The $440 billion legislation, which would send a dozen high-thrust plasma impactor probes to shatter the massive asteroid before it strikes the planet, would affect more than 300 million Americans and is strongly opposed by the GOP.

"The voters sent us to Washington to stand up for individual liberty, not big government," Rep. Steve King (R-IA) said at a press conference. "Obama's plan would take away citizens' fundamental freedoms, forcing each of us into hastily built concrete bunkers and empowering the federal government to ration our access to food, water, and potassium iodide tablets while underground."

"We believe that the decisions of how to deal with the massive asteroid are best left to the individual," King added.

Shoe

benbernanke "If Justice Does Not Fail, They'll Send Your Ass To Jail..."

Bernanke's Fiscal Suicide - a lullaby from Leah and Gregg Somerville.

  • "Yes, the bankers they're still rich..."
  • "Ben, you crooked academic snob, you've created not a single job..."
  • "If justice does not fail, they'll send your ass to jail..."

Book

Journey Of Self-Discovery Leads Man To Realization He Doesn't Care

Flagstaff, AZ - Three months after setting off down a long spiritual path to find himself, 38-year-old Corey Larson arrived at the conclusion Tuesday that he does not care. "I spent many long hours meditating, studying the works of great thinkers and spiritual leaders, and delving deep within myself for some kind of answer, and then it hit me: I couldn't care less,"