Don't Panic! Lighten Up!S


Smiley

Police: Man Stole Work Computer, Then Replacement


Citizen Times
Wed, 28 Jan 2009 19:18 UTC
Long Branch, New Jersey - He didn't even pay for the warranty. Police in Long Branch said a man allegedly stole a $20,000 diagnostic computer from a garage where he used to work, then returned the broken unit several months later - only to steal its replacement.

The man was been charged Friday with two counts of theft.
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Smiley

Sheriff: Michigan Man Stages Break-in, Then Calls 911


Citizen Times
Wed, 28 Jan 2009 14:12 UTC
Authorities in Michigan say a 24-year-old man broke into a gas station and called 911 on himself, claiming he wanted to go to jail to be with his incarcerated brother.

St. Clair County Sheriff Tim Donnellon tells the Times Herald of Port Huron that deputies obliged, arresting the man early Tuesday.
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Smiley

Beware the perils of poppy seed bagels

Marc Abrahams
The Guardian
Tue, 27 Jan 2009 05:20 UTC
Cream cheese bagel.
© Linda Nylind
Cream cheese bagel.
The degree of legal peril in eating a poppy seed bagel, long rumoured and feared by the public, became clear only when two doctors conducted an experiment.

Elizabeth J Narcessian and HoJung Yoon, both at the University of Medicine and Dentistry of New Jersey, published their finding in a 1997 study called "False-Positive Urine Drug Screen: Beware the Poppy Seed Bagel" It concerned a patient whose urine mysteriously tested positive for morphine.

"The patient denied any use of illicit substances and denied obtaining medication from any other sources. Her pharmacy confirmed that I [Narcessian] was the only doctor prescribing Schedule II medications [illegal/classified drugs]. The patient was then questioned about her diet. She reported that her diet consisted predominantly of oatmeal cereal and bagels.
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Smiley

Sweden Bars ADHD License Plate


United Press International
Tue, 27 Jan 2009 17:28 UTC
Swedish authorities have barred a woman's attempt to obtain a license plate bearing the letters ADHD, describing the combination as potentially offensive.

The 29-year-old Sodertalje woman was blocked from obtaining a plate reading ADHD after Swedish Transport Agency officials ruled the letters ADHD, an abbreviation for Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder, are inappropriate for a license plate and potentially offensive, The Local reported Tuesday.

Swedish Transport Agency representative Mikael Andersson said officials use three criteria when considering potential license plates: "Firstly, it can't be similar to regular registration numbers, secondly if it is a registered trademark then permission needs to be granted and proved, and thirdly it must not be offensive," he said.
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Smiley

Australia: Police called in to 'arrest' Porky the pig

Saffron Howden
Northern Star
Tue, 27 Jan 2009 22:35 UTC
Porky the pig
© Jacklyn WagnerSenior Const Peter Richardson and Const Amanda Vidler in heavy rain coax the reluctant pig off the roundabout at the junction of Woodlark and Dawson streets.
She caused traffic chaos, provoked guffaws of laughter from passers-by and inspired more than a few Lismore residents to throw some bacon on their Australia Day barbies.

Dubbed 'Porky' by arresting officer Senior Constable Peter Richardson, the mystery sow was spotted just before 11am yesterday crossing the road on to the roundabout at the junction of Woodlark and Dawson streets in central Lismore.
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Palette

Money no object for Putin the painter


News.scotsman.com
Sun, 25 Jan 2009 18:18 UTC
When the auctioneer asked if there were any more bids, there must have been a bit more pressure than normal for buyers to keep going.

A picture sketched by Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin fetched 37 million roubles (£820,000) at a charity auction.
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Arrow Down

Trashed! $180K worth of Palin's clothes reportedly in garbage bags

Catey Hill
Daily News
Sat, 24 Jan 2009 23:01 UTC
Oscar de la Renta, Valentino, Ferragamo.

These were just a few of the designer labels Sarah Palin wore during her 2008 campaign.

Where are many of these infamous clothes now? In trash bags!
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Heart

Stolen Baby Jesus Returned After 12 Years


WFTV Channel 9/The Associated Press
Fri, 23 Jan 2009 18:38 UTC
Belleview, FL - A baby Jesus statue stolen from northwest Florida nativity scene is back at the church, 12 years after it was swiped.

Rev. Jack Gray, pastor at St. Anne's Catholic Church, says the statue and a note were discovered in a pew Thursday.

The letter, written by a person who identified themselves as "M," stated that a friend had stolen the statue years before and left it with "M" when he moved. "For a long time, I did not know what to do," the anonymous person wrote.
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Heart

Dalai Lama Stuns Audience... Admits: "I Love George Bush"


Gateway Pundit
Sun, 18 Jan 2009 20:10 UTC
Bush & Dalai Lama
He loves him

The Dalai Lama admits, "I love George Bush." Beeqube and ROP reported:
The Dalai Lama, a lifelong champion of non-violence on Saturday candidly stated that terrorism cannot be tackled by applying the principle of ahimsa because the minds of terrorists are closed.

"It is difficult to deal with terrorism through non-violence," the Tibetan spiritual leader said delivering the Madhavrao Scindia Memorial Lecture here.

Comment: It is interesting that the Tibetans often call the Dalai Lama Yishin Norbu, meaning "Wish-fulfilling Jewel" !

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USA

Satire: Obama Says Bush Took Washer, Dryer, Fridge When He Left


Crystal Air
Fri, 23 Jan 2009 15:20 UTC
Obama
© Crystal AirPresident Obama calls wife Michelle to tell her he found a fridge that he likes.
Showing the resiliency that many say won him the election in the first place, President Barack Obama hugged his wife and children and mustered a smile for the reporters gathered on the South Lawn as he announced that the first family would be spending its first days in the White House without a washer, dryer or refrigerator.

"It, umm, appears that President Bush has, umm, taken the aforementioned appliances with him on his trip back to Crawford, Tex.," Obama said as he fought back tears. "This is not just a difficult time for Michelle and myself, and the girls, but a difficult time for all middle class Americans who just want a pair of clean socks."
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