Don't Panic! Lighten Up!S


Cheeseburger

12-Year Old McDonald's Hamburger, Still Looking Good

Ancient Burger
© Karen Hanrahan
The McDonald's hamburger on the right is from 2008; the one on the left is from 1996. And they both look fairly edible.

Wellness educator and nutrition consultant Karen Hanrahan has kept a McDonald's hamburger since 1996 to illustrate its nonexistent ability to decay. Aside from drying out and bit and having "the oddest smell," it apparently hasn't changed much in the past 12 years.

X

Iowa man faces charges after hugging officer

The man allegedly embraced the officer after being told to 'get away'

A hug has landed an Iowa City man in hot water. An Iowa City man who thought a police officer just "needed a hug" faces several charges including assault on a peace officer and public intoxication.

Bizarro Earth

US: Oregon hospital tells grandfather he's pregnant; clerical error blamed

A patient treated for agonizing abdominal pain received some surprising news in paperwork issued by an Oregon hospital.

It read: "Based on your visit today, we know you are pregnant." Surprising indeed for 71-year-old John Grady Pippen.

Smiley

Satire? Transcript Of Palin - Couric Interview

Katie Couric - Thank you for being here, Governor Palin.

Sarah Palin - I'm all about being here.

Katie Couric - Are you and John McCain in favor of this $700 billion bailout?

Sarah Palin - I'm totally in favor of supporting the troops. My son is a troop.

Katie Couric - Right. But I'm asking about the bailout proposal for Wall Street.

Sarah Palin - You sure are. You betcha.

Katie Couric - So are you in favor of it?

Smiley

Image of Virgin Mary Found In Sarah Palin's Bouffant



Image
©Unknown
Palin with image of the Blessed Mother just above the bangs

During a campaign appearance by Vice presidential nominee Sarah Palin at a retirement village in Tampa, Florida, onlookers were stunned to see what they believed to be an image of the Blessed Mother Mary embedded in Palin's wrapped puffed-up do.

"At first I thought it was just one of those Love Bugs y'get caught in the car grill, " said 82-year-old Hubert Henry. "But then it started glowin' like the baby Jesus I seen last year in the window at the Stuckey's just of Route 1 in Hulmville. Damn miracle, I tellya."

Comment: Praaaaayze geeeeezus!


Smiley

Don't Bite The Hand That Shoots You, Sarah!

Here's CNN's push back on its "photo-sploitation" at the hands of Team McCain during Sarah Palin's "speed dating" of world leaders in NYC this week.

It was even more classic -- in the version I saw -- preceded by the "Clean Coal" ad.

Smiley

Satire: Point-Counterpoint. Gov. Palin Has No Foreign Policy Experience...

Point: Gov. Palin Has No Foreign Policy Experience, Refuses To Acknowledge Global Warming, And Supports The War In Iraq

Counterpoint: Please Keep Your Voice Down, My Poor Retarded Child Is Sleeping

War Whore

Satire: Kissinger Instructs Palin On Finer Points Of Clandestine Carpet Bombing

WASHINGTON - In preparation for her debate with Sen. Joe Biden next week, Republican vice presidential nominee Sarah Palin met with seasoned statesman and Nobel Peace Prize - winner Henry Kissinger yesterday to take advantage of his extensive foreign policy knowledge and expertise in carpet-bombing innocent civilians in nations with which the U.S. is not officially at war.

Grey Alien

Financial Advice From Gorlock

Stephen gets sound advice from his financial advisor Gorlock.

Cow

Monster pig traps Aussie woman in home

A pig the size of a Shetland pony has trapped an Australian woman in her village home, the national broadcaster reported Tuesday.

Caroline Hayes, 63, has tried leave her house in Uki in northern New South Wales to use the outdoor toilet but says the animal has bitten her and shoved her back inside.

"It's a beautiful male pig but he's just so big and so pushy," she told the Australian Broadcasting Corporation.

Rangers from the local Murwillumbah Council tried to rescue her but could not capture the huge animal.

"The rangers came out to my house yesterday with a dog cage and this pig is that big, it's like trying to put an elephant in a dog cage," she said.