Don't Panic! Lighten Up!S


Smiley

Satire: Point-Counterpoint. Gov. Palin Has No Foreign Policy Experience...

Point: Gov. Palin Has No Foreign Policy Experience, Refuses To Acknowledge Global Warming, And Supports The War In Iraq

Counterpoint: Please Keep Your Voice Down, My Poor Retarded Child Is Sleeping

War Whore

Satire: Kissinger Instructs Palin On Finer Points Of Clandestine Carpet Bombing

WASHINGTON - In preparation for her debate with Sen. Joe Biden next week, Republican vice presidential nominee Sarah Palin met with seasoned statesman and Nobel Peace Prize - winner Henry Kissinger yesterday to take advantage of his extensive foreign policy knowledge and expertise in carpet-bombing innocent civilians in nations with which the U.S. is not officially at war.

Grey Alien

Financial Advice From Gorlock

Stephen gets sound advice from his financial advisor Gorlock.

Cow

Monster pig traps Aussie woman in home

A pig the size of a Shetland pony has trapped an Australian woman in her village home, the national broadcaster reported Tuesday.

Caroline Hayes, 63, has tried leave her house in Uki in northern New South Wales to use the outdoor toilet but says the animal has bitten her and shoved her back inside.

"It's a beautiful male pig but he's just so big and so pushy," she told the Australian Broadcasting Corporation.

Rangers from the local Murwillumbah Council tried to rescue her but could not capture the huge animal.

"The rangers came out to my house yesterday with a dog cage and this pig is that big, it's like trying to put an elephant in a dog cage," she said.

Smiley

Woman named Bacon wins Idaho hog-calling title

Lewiston - Jolee Bacon really sizzles when it comes to hog-calling.

The northern Idaho woman took first place Saturday in the competition at the Nez Perce County Fair.

She has raised several champion pigs for 4-H contests. Bacon says she calls pigs every morning and night with her 9-year-old daughter, Jacey.

Eagle

Drug Tax Stamp

The directive quoted below appears on the Kansas Department of Revenue website. Kansas is one of ten or so US states that enforce, or attempt to enforce, tax on illegal drugs.

Bizarro Earth

China: Myna talent for mimicry

A myna bird managed to shut up two noisy parrots in China - by learning to miaow like a cat.

Bird owner Mr Jiang, of Nanjing, bought the myna and taught it to speak in order to attract business.

All went well - until he bought two parrots and put them in a cage next to the myna, reports the Yangtse Evening Post.

Cloud Lightning

US: Menacing Cloud Formation Spotted in Tacoma, Washington



Menacing clouds
©Nigel Jones | The Naked Loo
The ominous, wispy menace.

Local meteorologists released a series of photographs Monday of a menacing cloud formation spotted in the skies above Pierce County.

Curiously darker than the surrounding fluffy white billows of water vapor, the mysterious shadowy wisps seem to be gathering for some foul purpose, according to KOMO 4 weather expert Jim Castillo.

Smiley

Man carries out upside down protest



Herbert Crossman
©BBC News

A man protesting against rising living costs has suspended himself upside down in central London.

Security worker Herbert Crossman, from Harrow, north-west London, hung from a crane for two hours in Trafalgar Square.

He was attached by the ankles to the crane with a bungee rope, reports the BBC.

Money fell from his pockets into buckets below. He said the money signified how British people are "haemorrhaging money".

Smiley

Economists Warn Anti-Bush Merchandise Market Close To Collapse


Economists Warn Anti-Bush Merchandise Market Close To Collapse