Don't Panic! Lighten Up!S


Wolf

Friday's Obamatoon

This is NOT what the people wanted......

obamatoon
© Carlos Latuff

Coffee

Libby's L.A. Adventure

Last weekend Ryan had a conference where he had to be locked in the school for 65 hours. I didn't really want to witness the carnage, so I decided to go to L.A. to visit Tara. It was a lovely weekend. I could go on and on about what we did, where we went, who we saw, and everything we ate, but you read this blog for entertainment -- not to cure insomnia (at least, I hope that's the case.) So, instead of a full travelogue, here is a list of five things I learned on my weekend away....

Family

Eurovision Song Contest hopefuls Putin the boot over Russia

Sir Terry Wogan may have quit as a Eurovision Song Contest commentator in protest against political voting, but Georgia's provocative entry to this year's contest threatens to embroil Russia's prime minister.

The former Soviet republic has hit back at Russia's military intervention in one of its breakaway regions last year by choosing Stephane & 3G's We Don't Wanna Put In as its entry for the event in Moscow in May.

The title may sound innocuous in English, but the quartet's pronunciation is the same as that for Vladimir Putin.

Laptop

Somnambulism in the Internet Age

Woman emailed party invites in her sleep

A new form of somnambul­ism for the Internet age has been identified by doctors and reported in the latest edition of the medical journal Sleep Medicine. Sleep researchers from the University of Toledo, Ohio, reported the first ever case of someone using the Internet while asleep, even sending emails inviting people over for drinks and caviar.

Ambulance

Guns for those who fire blanks

If you want a gun in Shivpuri, it helps to get the snip.

Manish Shrivastava, the administrative head of Shivpuri, a district in central India, has come up with a unique offer to boost the number of sterilisations in his jurisdiction: any man who has a vasectomy will have his gun licence application accelerated.

"There is a fetish for arms and arms licences in this area and at the same time the male vasectomy figures are dismally low," Manish Shrivastava told the Herald. "I have simply clubbed these two things together and got a very good response."

Robot

England: Mysterious 'Rocket-man' spotted over village

Is it a bird? Is it a plane?

No, our readers are sure it was a man, flying without wings across the skies over Gentleshaw Common.

Five locals have contacted The Post after witnessing the figure travelling, seemingly unaided, over houses at around 11am on Sunday, February 8. One described it as a 'Superman' moment - a clear case of 'to Chadsmoor and beyond.'

Smiley

Man Had Pigeons Down His Pants

Pigeons Pants
The pigeons were wrapped in padded envelopes on each leg
An Australian traveller was caught with two live pigeons stuffed down his trousers following a trip to the Middle East.

Customs officials said the 23-year-old was searched after authorities discovered two eggs in a vitamin container in his luggage.

They found the pigeons wrapped in padded envelopes and held to each of the man's legs with a pair of tights.

Officials also seized seeds in his money belt and an undeclared eggplant.

Smiley

$25 Billion Hotel Tip Worthless in Britain

Employees at a British hotel said they were ecstatic to receive a $25 billion tip...until they discovered the money was Zimbabwean and worthless in Britain.

Clare Vidler, duty manager at the Metropole Hotel in Leeds, England, said a group left 25 billion-dollar notes for hotel staff before embarking on their trip back to Zimbabwe, where inflation is 231 million percent, The Sun reported Wednesday.

Smiley

New York: Man Tries to Steal 6-Story Building

A New York man is facing charges he stole a six-story apartment building and then tried to get a $1 million mortgage on it, city officials said Wednesday.

Fernando Maldonado, 47, of Brooklyn allegedly filed a phony deed with the New York City Finance and Buildings departments and then tried to defraud a lender, the city said in a news release. He now faces numerous charges that could land him behind bars for years, city officials said.

"Stealing a building and using it in an effort to steal more than a million dollars in loan money, as charged here, is about as brazen a scam as can be imagined," city Investigation Department Commissioner Rose Gill Hearn said. "But with a paper trail of phony documents, and a string of charges that can lead to substantial prison terms, the foolishness of the scheme has been exposed."

Smiley

The mystery of Ireland's worst driver

Details of how police in Ireland finally caught up with the country's most reckless driver have emerged.

He had been wanted from counties Cork to Cavan after racking up scores of speeding tickets and parking fines.

However, each time the serial offender was stopped he managed to evade justice by giving a different address.

But then his cover was blown.

It was discovered that the man every member of the Irish police's rank and file had been looking for - a Mr Prawo Jazdy - wasn't exactly the sort of prized villain whose apprehension leads to an officer winning an award.

In fact he wasn't even human.

Comment: No Irish jokes please, this was a mistake anyone could have made, 50 times, really.