Don't Panic! Lighten Up!


Dog Nurses Kitten Found Under SUV Hood

©AP Photo/Victoria Advocate, T.C. Baker
Lillie the dog lies next to Tahoe the cat.

VICTORIA, Texas - By all accounts, Tahoe is a typical kitten: cute, sleepy and hungry. But his eating habits are far from typical, as the stray's been nursing from a 3-year-old dog named Lillie.


Gates to Hell open

A VICTORIAN Catholic school denies closing the gates to a five-year-old boy because his surname is Hell.

Dad Alex Hell says a priest refused to enrol his son, Max, at St Peter Apostle School in Hoppers Crossing.

But the school denies taking offence and says an enrolment offer from the end of last term remains on the table.

Hell is a traditional Austrian surname meaning bright.

Better Earth

Paris Tourist Day: Parisians urged to be nice

The tourist lost near the Place de l'Opéra in Paris asked a newspaper vendor for help. "Where's Starbucks?" she said in halting English.

"No idea," he replied in French with a bad-tempered shrug - even though he knew perfectly well that the nearest Starbucks coffee shop was only 50 metres away.

Today, however, his attitude will be different - or so tourist officials hope.

They are launching the first Paris Tourist Day, when they will encourage residents of the French capital to be polite, welcoming and helpful, at least for 24 hours.

Hundreds of thousands of brochures will be distributed to waiters, taxi drivers and other professionals calling on them to shed their long-standing reputation for arrogance and brusqueness. The Paris Tourist Office has also produced a charter in French and English with what it describes as commitments for Parisians and holidaymakers.

Red Flag

Ninety-year-old Italian climbs 3,000-meter mountain, sets record

Italian Piero Paci, who turns 90 this October, has successfully climbed a 3,000-meter (9,000-foot) mountain, setting a Guinness record, witnesses said.

The elderly mountaineer reached the top of Gran Sasso, at an altitude of 2,914 meters (8,742 feet), without assistance. His son and daughter accompanied him during the climb.

Another long-lived Italian, Giovanni Viglione, 100, recently took a test for a new driver's license. He also studies at a local university where he enjoys taking watercolor classes.

A third, still-employed 100-year-old, asked about the secret of his longevity, said: "I get up at 6:00 a.m. every morning, drink a glass of red wine and go to work. When I feel hungry, I eat a big portion of pasta that my daughter-in-law cooks for me. "

Magic Wand


CHIPPEWA FALLS, Wis. - Jack Allen Falkner is one lucky baby.

The son of Dan and Leslie Falkner was born July 7, 2007, considered by many the luckiest day of the century.

But Jack's luck didn't stop there. The infant weighed in at 7 pounds, 7 ounces, at St. Joseph's Hospital in Chippewa Falls.

No Entry

Them Dogs are Barking: German man's smelly feet trigger police raid

German police broke into a darkened flat fearing they would find a dead body after neighbours complained of a nasty smell seeping out onto the staircase.

The shutters of the apartment had been closed for more than a week and the post-box was filled with uncollected mail.

Comment: Wonder if the neighbors knocked on the door?

Bizarro Earth

Estonia dominates wife-carrying championship

Estonians took gold and silver at the world wife-carrying championships in Finland on Saturday, defying rain and exhaustion to stumble along a path with women clinging upside-down to their backs.

They were among 44 couples from 12 countries competing in the annual event in Sonkajarvi, central Finland.

The race, held for the 12th time, is intended to evoke the spirit of a legendary Finnish brigand, Rosvo-Ronkainen, who made those who wanted to join his gang run through a forest carrying heavy sacks on their backs.

In the modern version, couples race along a 250-metre track, tackling a pool and several hurdles, with the men carrying the women on their backs.

Estonian Madis Uusorg finished first, in a time of 61.7 seconds, despite having Inga Klauson on his back upside-down with her legs around his neck.


10,000 yen notes rain down into Tokyo district

About 30 or 40 10,000 yen notes were spotted floating down from an area near a bridge over the Sumida River in Tokyo on Friday, police said, adding that several residents apparently walked off with the cash.

Police arrived and recovered four 10,000 yen notes, one 5,000 yen note and one 1,000 yen note after receiving a call from a resident at about 11 a.m. saying that about 30 or 40 10,000 yen notes had fallen down from an area near the Kototoi Bridge over the Sumida River in Sumida-ku, Tokyo.

Comment: Universe trying to tell us something?

Money falls from sky in German town 5 July 2007


It's Dick's Government

I got your checks and balances right here. Well, right there, under Dick Cheney's foot, holding hands with individual liberties, writhing in their death throes.

Alright, I got a message for the American public, and the message is this: leave Dick Cheney alone. He's not answerable to you. Get off his big white furry butt. You are not the boss of him. Nobody is the boss of him. Dick Cheney is the boss. Of you, me, Bush. Nouri Al- Maliki. Gitmo. All of us. He's Boss Dick. And the only reason you're out to get him is because when he smiles he looks like he swallowed a small black child. And that is just prejudiced people. Doesn't matter that he's keeping this country safe. And the only two ways to do it are his way and the highway. Well, actually, under the highway. Sometimes as part of the highway. Mixed in with the rebar.

Grey Alien

Cereal offender creates crazy crop circle


This was the chaotic scene when a driver high on crack veered into a farmer's field - and came a cropper after being chased round and round by two cop cars.