Always-nearby entourage leads Sissy to food, shelter at rescue facility

Michelle Feldstein was prepared to provide special accommodations for the blind horse she recently added to the flightless ducks, clawless cats and homeless llamas inhabiting her animal shelter in Montana.

But nothing could prepare her for the 40-legged, seeing-eye entourage that accompanied "Sissy," a sightless, 15-year-old quarter horse.

"Sissy came with five goats and five sheep - and they take care of her," said Feldstein, the force behind Deer Haven Ranch, a private rescue facility she runs with her husband, Al, on 300 acres north of Yellowstone National Park.

London - Police scrambled helicopters and ordered tranquilizers to hunt what they feared was an escaped wild animal in southern England - but found that the tiger was a toy.

Hampshire Police say they responded after several residents called in to say they'd seen a white tiger in a field near a golf course in Hedge End, near the English coastal city of Southampton.

A tongue-in-cheek recorded message posted to the force's media line said that after "a brief stalk through the Hedge End savannah ... it became obvious that the tiger was a stuffed, life-sized toy."

So, it's well after 6 p.m., after the predicted "Rapture," and, well, except for "Macho Man" Randy Savage, (RIP) we're all still here.

The May 21 doomsday message was sent far and wide via broadcasts and web sites by Camping, an 89-year-old retired civil engineer who has built a multi-million-dollar Christian media empire that publicizes his apocalyptic prediction. According to Camping, the destruction was likely to have begun its worldwide march as it became 6 p.m. in the various time zones, although believers said Saturday the exact timing was never written in stone.

Camping's radio stations, TV channels, satellite broadcasts and website are controlled from a modest building sandwiched between an auto shop and a palm reader's business. Family Radio International's message has been broadcast in 61 languages. He has said that his earlier apocalyptic prediction in 1994 didn't come true because of a mathematical error.

"I'm not embarrassed about it. It was just the fact that it was premature," he told The Associated Press last month. But this time, he said, "there is...no possibility that it will not happen."

The General Electric Corporation today announced its plans to build a nuclear power plant on the former site of the Twin Towers in downtown Manhattan. "We're very excited about the prospect of building the plant in such an historical location," explained the CEO of the company. He added that inspiration for construction of the plant was thought to be a patriotic antidote to the otherwise un-American suggestion that a Mosque be built at that location.

The Nuclear Regulatory Commission endorsed the plan, and expressed its confidence in the plant's safety. The Commission also pointed out that the plant would bring enormous profits for the corporation's Board of Directors. Eight of the nine Commission members, having previously served as GE employees, praised the corporation for having no documented record of unwarranted radiation leaks in any of its U.S. plants, at least none that they could recall. When asked if there was a conflict of interest in having so many ex-GE employees on the Commission, many of whom were still receiving pension benefits as a result of their previous employment with the corporation, Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson, so aptly depicted in the movie, Inside Job, pointed out that the only individuals capable of serving in many government positions were people who had learned their skills working for the very industries they were hired to monitor. Paulson refused to elaborate regarding any questions addressing the supposed independence of regulatory agencies.

GE's press secretary pointed out that the likelihood of lightning striking twice in the same place was so remote as to render the Twin Towers site virtually impregnable. Furthermore, obtaining property of that magnitude in downtown Manhattan was basically prohibitive for any company or business that actually had to pay taxes on the property. Because GE's tax department was larger than that of the Internal Revenue Service, GE was certain that it would continue to reap huge profits, while never having to pay a penny in taxes, state or federal.

Now a group of atheists in the US have come up with a tongue-in-cheek solution, offering to take in the cats and dogs of "saved" believers in return for a small fee.

All the atheists signed up by Eternal Earth-Bound Pets are self-confessed sinners and blasphemers, guaranteeing they will be left behind when the chosen are selected

The business idea is an irreverent attempt to cash in on the belief - widespread among US Christians - that the pious will be carried up to heaven by God in a sudden swoop, leaving unbelievers to endure the seven-year reign of the anti-Christ on Earth.

For most people, messages from heaven are usually accompanied by choirs of angels, spectacular miracles or at least the odd burning bush. But one website says it will offer devout Christians a more prosaic mode of communication from the beyond - by letting them email unbelievers when the second coming takes place.

YouveBeenLeftBehind.com promises subscribers "one last opportunity to reach your lost family and friends for Christ" by automatically sending them a series of emails and documents if the rapture should occur.

For an annual fee of $40 (£20), customers are offered the chance to send these messages to their loved ones to convince them to believe in God.

A blind Boxer named Baks has gotten a whole new lease on life thanks to a good samaritan goose named Buttons. Yes, you read that right. This is not a joke.

Baks has been taken under the 'wing' of Buttons, a four-year-old goose who now leads her vision-impaired pal around everywhere either by hanging onto him with her neck, or by honking to tell him which way to go. How hilarious is that?!

Almighty Holds Rare Press Conference

New York - After a much-heralded End of the World failed to materialize on the appointed day, May 21, Almighty God held a rare press conference in New York to discuss the matter.

Dressed in His trademark flowing white robe and carrying a thunderbolt, God seemed visibly irked by the predictions calling for the world to end this Saturday.

A blog post by the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention that mentions a "zombie apocalypse" as a lighthearted way to get Americans to read about preparing for hurricanes drove so much traffic that it crashed the website, the agency said on Thursday.

The Zombie Apocalypse campaign is a social media effort by the CDC's Public Health and Preparedness center to spread the word about the June 1 start of hurricane season.

The CDC is a U.S. federal government health agency based in Atlanta.

"There are all kinds of emergencies out there that we can prepare for," the blog post begins. "Take a zombie apocalypse for example. ... You may laugh now, but when it happens you'll be happy you read this, and hey, maybe you'll even learn a thing or two about how to prepare for a real emergency."

President Obama's 2012 presidential campaign today started selling "Made in the USA" t-shirts featuring images of both President Obama and the long-form birth certificate he released copies of last month.

"Wear your support for this campaign with an official Made in the USA T-shirt," his website advertises. Donate $25 or more today and we'll send you your limited-edition shirt.

Coffee-mugs are also available.