Don't Panic! Lighten Up!S


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Cake request for 3-year-old Hitler namesake denied

Easton, Pa. - The father of 3-year-old Adolf Hitler Campbell, denied a birthday cake with the child's full name on it by one New Jersey supermarket, is asking for a little tolerance. Heath Campbell and his wife, Deborah, are upset not only with the decision made by the Greenwich ShopRite, but with an outpouring of angry Internet postings in response to a local newspaper article over the weekend on their flare-up over frosting.

Cell Phone

John McCain Campaign Info Left in BlackBerry Phone Sold to Reporter

McCain blackberry
BlackBerry phones caused John McCain a bit of embarrassment several months ago after one of John McCain's campaign staffers said incorrectly that the Arizona Senator "helped create" them.

Now it seems his former campaign workers can't even figure out how to erase private data on the devices before putting them up for sale.

A BlackBerry purchased at an auction of used office equipment from the McCain-Palin campaign turned out to contain cell phone numbers and other information for about 50 people. The data might have gone unnoticed -- except it was Tisha Thompson, a Fox news reporter, who made the purchase.

Pumpkin

Merriam-Webster Places Dick Morris' Picture Next To Word "Pathetic"

Pa·thet·ic [puh-thet-ik] 1. causing or evoking pity, sympathetic sadness, sorrow, etc.; pitiful; pitiable: a pathetic letter; a pathetic sight. affecting or moving the feelings.3.pertaining to or caused by the feelings.4.miserably or contemptibly inadequate: In return for our investment we get a pathetic three percent interest. 5. Dick Morris

In what Merriam-Webster editors are attributing to the voluminous usage, or citations, the forthcoming 2009 edition of the world-famous dictionary has added political pundit Dick Morris's picture and name as one of the possible definitions for the word "pathetic."

Smiley

Nude Virgin Mary cover prompts Playboy apology

A nude model resembling the Virgin Mary on the cover of the Mexican edition of Playboy magazine, published only days before a major Mexican festival dedicated to the mother of Jesus, prompted the company's U.S. headquarters on Friday to apologize.

The magazine, which hit newsstands on Dec. 1 as ceremonies began leading to Friday's pilgrimage to the Mexico City shrine of the Virgin of Guadalupe, showed a model wearing nothing but a white cloth over her head and breasts.

She is standing in front of a stained glass window with the cover line, "We Love You, Maria" in Spanish. The model's name is Maria Florencia Onori.

The Virgin of Guadalupe, said to have appeared to a sixteenth century Indian peasant, is Mexico's most revered Roman Catholic figure and the annual pilgrimage to the Mexico City basilica dedicated to her is one of the world's largest religious events.

Smiley

Bruni sues over use of nude image on bags

Saint Denis De La Reunion - French first lady Carla Bruni-Sarkozy is suing a fashion chain for selling bags emblazoned with nude images of her in the latest legal action over the presidential couple's image.

At a court hearing on Monday in the French Indian Ocean island of Reunion, Bruni-Sarkozy's lawyer said the former model was demanding 125,000 euros ($168,300) in damages from local chain Pardon which sold the bags there for a few days.

"This little-known company is using the image of a famous person in a shocking way ... for media attention," Gesche Le Fur told the court in the island's capital, Saint Denis.

Bruni-Sarkozy, 40, rose to fame as a model before becoming a pop singer. Public interest in her has surged since her whirlwind romance with President Nicolas Sarkozy, whom she married in February less than three months after they met.

The couple have repeatedly gone to court over image issues, attracting criticism that they are too focused on trivial matters. The founder and manager of the Pardon chain, which sells clothing and fashion accessories in Reunion but does not trade in mainland France, told the court he had withdrawn the bags from stores at the weekend.

Yoda

Man banned from selling soul on eBay

A musician fed up with his life was today barred from selling his soul to the highest bidder Dante Knoxx, 24, offered the "used" item for a starting bid of £25,000.50 or a buy it now price of £700,000 on the internet auction site eBay. But eBay pulled the listing today with about two hours to go and no bids because it breached one of the firm's policies.

Mr. Potato

Satire: Iraq had shoes all along, claims vindicated Bush

Super shoe
© The Daily MashSaddam built a super-shoe to attack Israel
President Bush last night claimed his decision to invade Iraq had been vindicated after US troops uncovered an arsenal of shoes on the outskirts of Fallujah.

More than 400 lethal shoes including sandals, pumps, desert boots and a solitary brogue were revealed as Mr Bush paid a final visit to Iraq to see if there was anything left.

A White House spokesman immediately dismissed claims the US invasion had been based on Saddam Hussein's alleged stockpile of chemical and biological weapons, adding: "No we didn't, we said shoes.

"We did and if you heard weapons of mass destruction, that's your problem. You might want to try using a cotton bud."

The spokesman added: "We believe that many of these shoes would have been built in China with Russian laces, French-made heels and odour-absorbing insoles purchased through back channels via the west African state of Niger."

Footprints

Teenager completes UK coast walk

Image
© BBCSeb Green on Chesil Beach as he arrives home after 11 months walking
A teenager who sparked a land and air rescue operation after stealing a boat has completed a sponsored walk around Britain to make amends.

Seb Green was 15 when he and a friend sparked a search costing £20,000 when they got stranded near Weymouth Harbour, Dorset, in May 2004.

He has spent nearly a year walking 5,821 miles (9,367km) around Britain with his border collie, Flash.

Stop

Santa gets a parking ticket

Santa ticket
© The SunScrooge ... repositioned ticket
Charity fundraisers were left fuming today after they were given a parking ticket while they assembled Santa's sleigh.

Richard Walters, from West Bridgford Round Table in Nottingham, had towed the sleigh to the town's Tudor Square to set it up.

Pavement

He said he left his car for just three minutes to unhook the sleigh and move it on to the pavement, but came back to find a ticket had been slapped on his vehicle.

He said: "It's absolutely ridiculous. I had parked just off the road to unhook the sleigh and push it on to the pavement.

"I was there for probably about three minutes and no more.

Arrow Down

Primary school teacher who told children: 'Santa does not exist' is fired

A primary school teacher who left a class of 25 pupils in tears after she told told them Santa Claus did not exist has been fired.

When excited youngsters became rowdy as they talked about Santa, the supply teacher blurted out: 'It's your parents who leave out presents on Christmas Day.'

The class of seven-year-olds at Blackshaw Lane Primary School, Royton, near Oldham, Greater Manchester burst into tears and told their parents when they arrived home.