Don't Panic! Lighten Up!


Australian walker saved from deadly snake bite by Stormtrooper armour

© Facebook/StormingAustralia
Former soldier Scott Loxley in his Stormtrooper costume and a king brown snake

An Australian man who is trekking across the country for charity has been saved from a potentially deadly snake bite - by his Imperial Stormtrooper costume.

Australian media report that Scott Loxley, who has so far raised $40,000 (£24,000) for the Monash children's hospital in Victoria, encountered a King Brown snake on day 277 of his epic 'Storming Australia' walk as he was leaving the small town of Yalboroo in Queensland.

Mr Loxley initially thought the viper was dead and went to walk past it when it began to move and lunged to bite him on the shin.

In video on his Facebook page, he said that he had been saved from the snake's toxic venom by his plastic Stormtrooper armour:
Turns out it wasn't dead; It was a big old King Brown.

And he's lunged at me and bit me in the shin.

- Scot Loxley


Solo Seattle dog a regular bus passenger

A black lab in Seattle has become a familiar face to bus drivers and passengers who have gotten used to the canine taking solo trips on public transport.

Commuters in the Belltown area said they have become accustomed to the sight of 2-year-old Eclipse climbing aboard the bus without human accompaniment and settling into a window seat before getting off at her destination -- the dog park.

"All the bus drivers know her. She sits here just like a person does," bus rider Tiona Rainwater told KOMO-TV. "She makes everybody happy. How could you not love this thing?"

Miles Montgomery, a local radio host tweeted pictures he took of Eclipse when he met the Labrador on the bus.

Black Cat 2

The dog shall not pass!

Cats are laying down the law and showing who the Alpha male really is in this entertaining Dog Shall Not Pass video compilation. These cats have definitely gotten into these dog's heads with a little feline intimidation.


Saudi cleric condemns snowmen as anti-Islamic

A prominent Saudi Arabian cleric has whipped up controversy by issuing a religious ruling forbidding the building of snowmen, described them as anti-Islamic.

Asked on a religious website if it was permissible for fathers to build snowmen for their children after a snowstorm in the country's north, Sheikh Mohammed Saleh al-Munajjid replied: "It is not permitted to make a statue out of snow, even by way of play and fun."

Quoting from Muslim scholars, Sheikh Munajjid argued that to build a snowman was to create an image of a human being, an action considered sinful under the kingdom's strict interpretation of Sunni Islam.


Man who has bombed 7 predominantly Muslim countries to host anti-terror summit

Following the tragic events in Paris last week, many world leaders have expressed their regret at the loss of innocent life and has even compelled one particular leader into action.

US President Barack Obama has taken the step to propose a summit on extremism and anti-terrorism, despite he himself giving orders in the past to bomb 7 countries which are largely inhabited by Muslims.

In an attempt to gain an insight into the mindset of an extremist, Obama, who has bombed Syria, Afghanistan, Pakistan, Yemen, Somalia and Libya, is set to play host to a variety of Western leaders in America while forgetting to mention this particular foreign policy.

"We simply can't know what it is like for an individual or a collective group of people to be so dogmatic in their beliefs that they would so willingly kill innocent civilians", said the President as White House aides refused to point out the number of civilian casualties in the countries previously bombed by the Democratic leader.

Magic Wand

Unwind by winding - Japan's unique cotton-spinning bar

Contrary to what its name suggests, 'Tokyo Cotton Village' isn't a rural settlement of cotton farmers, but a bar located in the heart of Japan's capital city, in Setagaya Ward. The one-of-a-kind establishment allows its patrons to experience spinning cotton, which is supposedly a relaxing activity.

The service is available for free to anyone who orders a drink - they get to enjoy spinning threads of wamen, a type of cotton that's cultivated in Japan. The airy texture of wamen is believed to calm the mind and relax the body. The concept is a big hit with customers, many of whom visit the bar several times a week.

"Getting absorbed in [spinning threads] lets me forget bad things that happened at work," said Yoshiko Jimura, 32, who visits at least twice a week. "This is a precious time for me to change my mood.
© Yomiuri Shimbun
"It is interesting because seeds turn into threads," added Yoshio Suzuki, 45.


Leaving cert papers to be entirely written in emojis

Following reports of record levels of borderline-illiteracy in today's teenagers, the Department of Education has revealed plans to publish this year's Leaving Certificate exam papers in a combination of emojis, emoticons, and 'text-speak'.

The move comes following falling results among Leaving Cert students, which many experts have attributed to the rise in smartphone communications, in which proper spelling and grammar have been cast aside in favour of smiley faces and acronyms.

Exacerbated by social media platforms such as Snapchat and Twitter, today's student now has trouble reading plain English, let alone writing it. In a bid to combat this, a spokesperson for the Department of Education today announced plans to publish exam papers written using the same nonsense that kids are used to reading and writing every day.

"The ability of a teenager to form a coherent sentence had nosedived in recent years," said Owen Caughlin, spokesperson for the Department of Education.

"This has lead to a drop in performance across the board when it comes to Leaving Cert results. We were going to issue spelling waivers similar to those we offer to dyslexic pupils, but in the end, we thought it would be easier to just write the exam papers using a combination of LOL-speak and wee pictures of cats high-fiving each other".

Following the implementation of the emoji system, the DOE will next look at an overhaul of test marking, with the current points system expected to be replaced with Likes and FAVs.


Government admits it was only behind destruction of North Tower

© The Onion
Newly declassified documents reveal plans by the Bush Administration and the Project for the New American Century to instill fear in Americans by “destroying the taller, more iconic tower” of the World Trade Center.
Washington - Saying they felt a duty to reveal what truly transpired on September 11, 2001, numerous high-ranking federal officials announced publicly Tuesday that the United States government was responsible for destroying just the North Tower of the World Trade Center.

Representatives from the Central Intelligence Agency, National Security Agency, and half a dozen other government bureaus revealed at a morning press conference that they were responsible for the development, funding, and execution of a plan to take down 1 World Trade Center in New York's Financial District. Describing their mission as an unqualified success, officials noted that the completion of their objective was followed 17 minutes later by a separate suicide attack on 2 World Trade Center by al-Qaeda operatives piloting a hijacked airliner.

"The American people deserve to know that, of the two towers that were brought down in Lower Manhattan on 9/11, only one was the target of the federal government," said CIA spokesman Tom McLennan, emphasizing that their carefully guarded plot was a wholly independent event planned without any foreknowledge of the similar act of terrorism designed by al-Qaeda leader Osama bin Laden for the same day. "While we freely admit our culpability in striking the first building, let us be clear that we had no hand in destroying the other tower. In fact, that was just as shocking and devastating to us as it was to all American citizens."

"Aside from our controlled implosion of Tower No. 1, we can assure the public that the September 11 attacks were carried out by Islamic radicals as part of their war against the West," McLennan added.

Comment: For the real story checkout 9/11-The Ultimate Truth.


Coming attractions: A preview of 2015

January 25: 467 people reported missing from a university in Mexico. US State Department blames Russia.

February 1: Military junta overthrows President Nicolás Maduro in Venezuela. Washington decries the loss of democracy.

February 2: US recognizes the new Venezuelan military junta, offers it 50 jet fighters and tanks.

February 3: Revolution breaks out in Venezuela endangering the military junta; 40,000 American marines land in Caracas to quell the uprising.

February 16: White police officer in Chicago fatally shoots a 6-year old black boy holding a toy gun.

March 6: Congress passes a new law which states that to become president of the United States a person must have the surname Bush or Clinton.

Comment: It could always get worse.


Swedish bunnies tipped for Grand National win

© YouTube
Swedish rabbits compete in London last year.
Four Swedish jumping rabbits capable of clearing up to three metres in a single hop are gearing up to compete in the Rabbit Grand National in England at the end of this month.

It is is the first time Sweden's floppy-eared athletes will compete at Yorkshire's Small Animal Show dubbed the 'Crufts of the small animal world' - since Cherie, a two-year-old bunny from Gävle, bounded to victory in the 2012 hurdle race.

The sport of bunny athletics originated in Sweden in the 1970s, speading to England in 2011, when Swedish bunnies first competed at the Great Yorkshire Showground in Harrogate.

Scandinavia still leads the world, with the Danish hopper Tosen holding the record for the highest jump (close to a metre), and another Dane, Yabo, holding the three metre long-jump record.

Karin Molin from Sweden, who is bringing the Scandinavian competitors to the show, hopes her prize rabbit can beat his personal record.