Don't Panic! Lighten Up!S


Family

UK: Man Wakes from Coma When Wife Tells Him He Became a Grandfather

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© SWNSAgainst the odds: Farmer David Russell with wife Helen and a photograph of new granddaughter Edie.
Some things are worth waking up for.

And after two weeks in a coma David Russell finally opened his eyes - after his wife told him he had just become a grandfather.

Doctors had previously warned Helen Russell that the prognosis for her 60-year-old husband was not good.

But on hearing the news of the latest addition to the family, the farmer is making a full recovery.

Mr Russell was left fighting for his life after he fell 12ft onto concrete while replacing guttering on a barn roof.

Mr. Potato

Live Webcast goes horribly wrong!


Coffee

Germany: Thief Robs Arcade with Cup of Coffee

A thief in the German town of Hamelin robbed an amusement arcade by threatening the attendant with a cup of coffee, authorities said on Tuesday.

"He wasn't going to pour coffee over her, he was going to hit her with the cup," a spokesman for local police said.

Brandishing the steaming cup he had just ordered, the thief forced the 26-year-old to open the till and fled with cash.

Police would not say how much money he had taken from the attendant, who had been alone in the arcade.

Laptop

Sculpture Sells Itself On eBay

Artist Caleb Larsen has created an art sculpture which, when connected to the Internet, perpetually attempts to sell itself on eBay.

Family

The Newest Diet Trend: What Would Jesus Eat?

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© Unknown
God cries when you eat Pop-Tarts. But He smiles when you drink carrot juice, and when you do a colon cleanse, He beams.

That's the spirit driving one of America's biggest current diet fads. Granted, you've probably never heard of it unless you hang with Bible-believing Christians, but it goes by many names: the Hallelujah Diet, the Maker's Diet, the Lord's Diet, the Genesis 1:29 Diet. Some versions are vegan, some largely raw; all include organic whole grains -- and some of their kingpins have piously channeled this fad into multimillion-dollar enterprises, hawking must-have supplements at hefty prices. An eight-ounce bottle of phosphatidylcholine (a membrane extracted from soybeans or egg yolks) for $124.99? Sure, when its brand name reads like a promise: Divine Health.

Bizarro Earth

UK: Pheasant terrorising North Yorkshire village 'attacks people in street'

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© North News
A pheasant is terrorising a village - trapping people in their homes and attacking people in the street.

The vicious bird has launched several unprovoked attacks on villagers in recent weeks.

Men, women, children, prams, bikes, dogs and cars are said to have have fallen foul of the bird in Newsham, near Richmond, North Yorkshire.

Arrow Up

German Man Saved on Frozen Sea by Webcam Spotter

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© Axel Heimken/AP PhotoThe sun shines onto the ice-covered beach of St. Peter Ording, at the north sea coast, Germany, on Thursday, Jan. 28, 2010.
Watch the sunset, save a life.

A woman admiring the sunset on a tourist webcam in northern Germany spotted a man who was lost on the frozen North Sea and probably saved his life by alerting authorities, police said Wednesday.

The man had climbed over pack ice off the coast to photograph a sunset near the town of St. Peter-Ording, then became disoriented on the ice, Husum police spokeswoman Kristin Stielow said.

Unable to locate the beach, the man began using his camera to flash for help. That got the attention of a woman hundreds of miles (kilometers) away in southern Germany who was watching the sunset over the sea on her computer.

Cookie

Crazed Yemeni Terrorists Will Attack Within 45 Minutes, Warns Government

The government yesterday raised the terrorist threat level to 'Hysterical', for the first time in nearly 5 weeks.

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In a speech to the Tavsitock Institute, the Home secretary yesterday hinted ominously of 'alarming levels of chatter coming out of Yemen'. However, when later pressed as to the nature of the chatter, Alan Johnson was forced to concede: 'It's hard to say exactly. I don't speak Yemenese, but all we know is they're talking, and they're talking a lot.

Grey Alien

My Teacher is an Alien, Say 1 in 3 Children

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© UnknownNot of this earth, apparently: Teachers
Finding proof of extra-terrestrial life is a no-brainer for children - because they see aliens every day at school.

A third of all children aged five to 16 are convinced that the body of one of their teachers has been taken over by an extra-terrestrial being.

And even if they do not think aliens are by the blackboard, three-quarters of youngsters believe the little green monsters exist somewhere in the universe.

Aliens regularly feature in children's books, films and TV series and so the results do not surprise child psychologist and TV presenter Laverne Antrobus. 'Children have many fantasies and love to escape into a world of make- believe that they can imagine for themselves,' she said.

Comment: Most adults never escape their world of make-believe.

Radar

Fear of Flying

So now we have what surely sounds like the worst imaginable terrorist threat: the bomber whose weapon is concealed inside their body. Are we going to need MRIs before boarding a plane?

Maybe it's time to make the inevitable psychological shift from prevention to risk management.

Flying has always entailed risks - just as their are risks in driving a car or eating in a restaurant.

How's this for what could be universally accepted as an acceptable level of risk: that the danger of being a victim in a catastrophic air flight is such that one is more likely to die because of mechanical problems or pilot error than because of a terrorist act.