Don't Panic! Lighten Up!S


Cow

India to launch cow urine as soft drink

Does your Pepsi lack pep? Is your Coke not the real thing? India's Hindu nationalist movement apparently has the answer: a new soft drink made from cow urine.

Image
© Sasa Kralj/APWelcome to your new vending machine...

Smiley

Man Runs Out of Gas After Robbing Gas Station

An Englewood East man who allegedly used a Bowie knife to rob a gas station did not fill up while he was there. He was arrested after his getaway car ran out of gas.

David Eric Hampton, 23, of the 9000 block of Fruitland Avenue, was charged Sunday with robbery with a weapon, and loitering/prowling, the Charlotte County Sheriff's Office said.

He is being held at the county jail without bail.

Telephone

9 Humiliating Ways Cell Phones Injure People

Despite their usefulness, cellular phones get a lot of negative press. Excessive and improper cell phone use accounts for hundreds of thousands of injuries and deaths around the world every year. A recent study showed that a coordinated 20 year-old has the same reaction time as that of a 70 year old when talking on a cell phone. This waned concentration can lead to many dangerous situations. And while most of us have made it this far without the need of protective shoulder pads or helmets, the risk of cell phone injury still exists.

The following is a list of cell phone injuries, ordered in their likeliness to occur, from most to least.

Comment: Referring to Number 9: on the contrary, cell phones do emit radiation, leading to tumors and other health problems. See here and here.


Smiley

Cops Arrest Man Who Sought Help Removing Handcuffs

Barbel
© Barnstable Police DepartmentAllahmanamjad Barbel, 21, was arrested on outstanding warrants yesterday after he went to the Barnstable police station to seek help removing handcuffs.
Barnstable, Massachusetts - It was a good news-bad news sort of day for Allahmanamjad Barbel when he showed up at the Barnstable police station at 2 p.m. yesterday with police-issue handcuffs dangling from one wrist.

The 21-year-old told police that he had just come from a child's birthday party in Hyannis, where his younger sister sneaked up behind him and slipped the cuffs onto one wrist. Then they discovered no one in the house had a key to the cuffs, and no amount of pulling, pushing or trying to cut through the Smith and Wesson police-issue handcuffs was going to free him, Barnstable police Sgt. Sean Sweeney said.

So Barbel stopped by the police station and asked for a key. There he encountered suspicious police officers.

Mr. Potato

California: Caped Man Steals from Adult Store

A California man wore a red cape and American flag hat with sequins and carried a wooden sword when he robbed an adult store, police say.

David William Hadeen of Sacramento was arrested near L'Amour Shoppe, The Sacramento Bee reported. Police said he was still in costume, although he had dropped the sword on the ground.

A clerk at the store said a caped man walked in Sunday afternoon and grabbed one of its products with a price of about $200. He waved the sword at the clerk.

Coffee

'Stallion of the south' to greet travellers

sculpture white stallion
© AFP/Getty ImagesA computer image of the sculpture, which will tower over the landscape in Swanscombe, Kent

A monumental sculpture of a white stallion looming 50-metres high was yesterday picked to be one of the first sights to greet Eurostar passengers as they travel into London from mainland Europe.

Mark Wallinger's giant sculpture, which has been described as the "Stallion of the south" and is set to overshadow Antony Gormley's 20-metre Angel of the North in Gateshead, will be erected in Kent on the site of a former chalk pit.

At 33 times life-size, and costing £2m, it will be the country's most ambitious piece of public art, and when constructed will overlook Ebbsfleet Valley as well as the international train station and adjacent A2 road. The sculpture is expected to be seen by up to 60 million people a year.

Cheeseburger

Jeremy Clarkson apologises for calling Gordon Brown 'a one-eyed idiot'

Jeremy Clarkson - Top Gear_01
Jeremy Clarkson: made comments on Gordon Brown to the Australian press
Jeremy Clarkson: made comments on Gordon Brown to the Australian press

Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson has apologised for calling the prime minister, Gordon Brown, a "one-eyed Scottish idiot" after a barrage of criticism from politicians and disability groups.

The BBC star, who is currently in Australia on tour, said in a statement: "In the heat of the moment I made a remark about the prime minister's personal appearance for which, upon reflection, I apologise."

Earlier, Clarkson had compared Brown to Australian prime minister Kevin Rudd, after Rudd had just addressed the country on the global financial crisis.

"It's the first time I've ever seen a world leader [Rudd] admit we really are in deep shit," Clarkson was reported as saying in the Australian newspaper.

Control Panel

Secularist group buying billboards to honor Darwin

Charles Darwin
© Henry Guttmann, Getty ImagesBritish naturalist Charles Darwin. Original Artwork: Woodbury type by Lock & Whitfield.

Grand Junction, Colorado - A secularist group is observing the 200th birthday of Charles Darwin with billboards that urge people to "Evolve Beyond Belief."

The Freedom From Religion Foundation placed "Praise Darwin" billboards in Grand Junction; Dayton, Tenn.; Dover, Pa.; and Whitehall, Ohio.

They feature stained-glass designs and a picture of the evolutionary theorist born on Feb. 12, 1809.

The Tennessee and Pennsylvania towns had landmark court cases about the teaching of evolution.

In Grand Junction, the foundation has complained about prayers in county meetings. The organization has battled Whitehall over nativity displays.

Mr. Potato

How the Kremlin Caved in Over Girl's Guinea Pig

Russian Guinea Pig
© UnknownWhat a Russian Guinea Pig may look like.
Pigs were used by George Orwell to satirise Stalin's Soviet state in Animal Farm - but guinea pigs are just as controversial in modern Russia.

13-year-old girl has felt the wrath of the Kremlin for having the audacity to ask the Russian president for a new pet. Nastya Ivliyeva wrote to Dmitry Medvedev's website asking for a guinea pig to go with her existing one.

As soon as local officials found out about the request they went to the girl's school where she was called to the headmaster's office and ticked off so badly that she burst into tears.

Cow

Injured Deer Stumbles Into Ohio Vet Clinic

No appointment needed: injured deer stumbles into Ohio pet shop with veterinary clinic.

Workers at an Ohio pet shop are used to worried pet owners bringing their animals in to be treated in the store's clinic.

But an unaccompanied visit Saturday by a deer to the PetSmart in Rossfield was a first for the store.

Manager Trudi Urie says the wounded doe was hanging out behind the store and then ran through an open door into a stockroom.