Don't Panic! Lighten Up!S


Mr. Potato

Emergency shipment of condoms headed to Olympic athletes

Rowdy curling crowds; spontaneous street parties; public drunkeness. You don't have to look far for evidence that the crowds at Winter Games in Vancouver know how to have a good time.

And, as if anymore proof is needed that a wild Olympic atmosphere permeates B.C.'s largest city, now there's an apparent condom shortage.

That's right. As you read this, an emergency shipment of condoms is desperately making its way across Canada to the West Coast city.

Attention

Warning to Miss Piggy: Cover that cleavage!

Image

Colorado Springs, Colorado - Puppet cleavage has been ruled out for advertising posters in Colorado Springs bus shelters.

Lamar Advertising rejected posters for a touring production of the Broadway show Avenue Q because they show the cleavage of a fuzzy pink puppet.

Lamar account executive Jeff Moore said the company takes a conservative approach in Colorado Springs. The city is known for its political conservatism, and some conservative Christian groups have their headquarters there.

Mr. Potato

New Jersey: Escaped Cat Holds Up Airport Security

Newark - Officials at a New Jersey airport said a security checkpoint was closed temporarily when a 25-pound cat crawled under an X-ray machine.

Newark Liberty International Airport said passengers in Terminal A were redirected to different checkpoints and the woman who owned the cat missed her flight after the heavy tabby crawled into the 4-inch gap between the machine and the floor and refused to come out at about 6:30 a.m. Tuesday, The (Newark) New Jersey Star-Ledger reported Wednesday.

Port Authority police said the cat was let out of its carrier so the container could be screened, but the startled cat got away from its owner and hid under the machine. The officers said they used a hydraulic device to lift the CTX explosive-detection machine and free the cat about 20 minutes after the start of the incident.

Smiley

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Smiley

Jon Stewart 'proves' Glenn Beck is a commie

What's that saying about glass houses?

It turns out that a popular Fox News host may owe his career to the very socialist policies that he is paid to condemn (not that this should be any kind of news flash).

Fox's Glenn Beck took the stage at CPAC Saturday where he railed against socialism and progressivism. On Monday, Jon Stewart "uncovered" the truth: Beck educated himself at public libraries paid for with socialist taxes.

Heart

Man Barely Escapes After Pushing Van Off Railroad Tracks

A man in Argentina proved himself to be something of a hero today when he jumped from his motorbike to push a stalled van off the train tracks just seconds before the train came zooming past.


UFO

RAF Radar Misread Church Spire as UFO

RAF air defence radars spotted a 'UFO' over Lincolnshire skies - only to find it was a county church.

Airmen at RAF Neatishead in Norfolk mistook the unidentified blip in Lincolnshire airspace for an alien visitor, according to newly revealed reports from the Ministry of Defence and National Archives.

But the report was then forced to conclude the county had not had a close encounter, after the radar imagery was identified as St Botolph's church spire in Boston.

The report read: "The church spire is known in aviation circles as the 'Boston Stump' and appears occasionally on some radars in certain radar propagation conditions."

Mr. Potato

Russia: Gnome poster removed before Medvedev visit

Theater posters proclaiming "We await you, merry gnome" were taken down from a Russian town shortly before a visit by the country's diminutive President Dmitry Medvedev, a local website reported on Friday.

The advertisements were for a children's theater show, but were removed from a street that the president's convoy was due to use on his visit to Omsk on February 12, the nr2.ru website reports, citing local sources.

Russian media say Medvedev is 1.62 m (5 ft 4 in) tall.

Smiley

Hitler on Climate Change


Smiley

California: Suspected SoCal Graffiti Vandal Picks Wrong Room

It was clearly the wrong room for a suspected graffiti vandal to target.

Sheriff's officials say 22-year-old Joshua Vasquez was arrested Friday after he allegedly tried to deface a glass door leading into a City of Commerce meeting room where over 100 Los Angeles County sheriff's deputies and police officers were attending a training class.

Sheriff's Captain Mike Parker says the officers could see the young man through the glass door, but he could not see them. Parker says Vasquez began to open the door to etch the inside when he suddenly saw dozens of officers running toward him.

Parker says Vasquez turned and fled with at least 40 officers in pursuit.