Don't Panic! Lighten Up!S


Snowman

Is Canada's Gray Seal Hunt Cancelled Due to Lack of Demand?

Alex Felsinger
Planetsave
Thu, 12 Feb 2009 01:12 UTC
Gray Seal_01
© MGSpillerThousands of gray seals could be spared particularly brutal deaths this year because sealers have been unable to find a buyer for the pelts.
This news comes as the European Union considers a ban on all seal products, an action which some think drove typical pelt buyers to rethink their purchase this year. Multiple sources say the hunt will likely not happen, but Canada's Department of Fisheries and Oceans still officially say the hunt is on.
Read More...
Sherlock

The Strange History of Saint Valentine's Day

Dirk Vander Ploeg
UFO Digest
Sat, 14 Feb 2009 10:50 UTC
Valentine
© UnknownSaint Valentine Icon.
At least three different Saint Valentines, all of them martyrs, are mentioned in the early martyrologies under date of 14 February.

One is described as a priest at Rome, another as bishop of Interamna (modern Terni), and these two seem both to have suffered in the second half of the third century and to have been buried on the Flaminian Way, but at different distances from the city.

In William of Malmesbury's time what was known to the ancients as the Flaminian Gate of Rome and is now the Porta del Popolo, was called the Gate of St. Valentine. The name seems to have been taken from a small church dedicated to the saint which was in the immediate neighborhood. Of both these St. Valentines some sort of Acta are preserved but they are of relatively late date and of no historical value. Of the third Saint Valentine, who suffered in Africa with a number of companions, nothing further is known.
Read More...
Sheeple

Nigerian car thief turns into sheep

Lester Haines
The Register
Fri, 30 Jan 2009 05:21 UTC
Swiftly cuffed in vigilante ovine suppression op

We're not quite sure what to make of this report in Nigeria's Vanguard, but it appears that police in Ilorin, Kwara State, are holding in custody a chap who tried to steal a Mazda, transformed himself into a sheep and was seized by vigilantes in a swift ovine suppression operation.

The paper sort of explains that the head of the anti-sheep thief mob, one Prince Omoniyi Nasirudeen, stated for the record there were in fact two ne'er-do-wells and that when he and his team "beamed torchlight on them with the intention of apprehending them they ran away and they were vigorously chased until one of them disappeared while the second turned to sheep".

The Vanguard elaborates: "The vigilante added that the suspect turned to human being almost immediately and was still running until he was pursued to a corner where he quickly put his back behind the wall with one of the legs and turn to the sheep which was quickly grabbed.
Read More...
Extinguisher

Tina Turner Burns Down Legs For Insurance Money


The Onion
Fri, 23 Jan 2009 23:54 UTC
Image
Turner insured her famous limbs for 3.2 million.

Los Angeles - Police officers arrested Tina Turner this week on suspicion of arson, reckless endangerment, and insurance fraud, following allegations that the legendary R&B singer burned down her legs for financial gain.
Read More...
Question

Nigerian web scam bilked Utah out of $2.5M

Nate Carlisle
Salt Lake Tribune
Thu, 12 Feb 2009 23:31 UTC
Thieves apparently used a Nigerian-based scam to steal $2.5 million from the Utah treasury, covering their tracks by using intermediaries and a church address.

A Salt Lake Tribune review of the names listed in a search warrant as receiving or transferring money have names of African origin or connections to that continent. Michael Kessler, president of Kessler International, a forensic accounting and investigation agency in New York City, said the thieves appear to have used a simple scam that originated in Nigeria about five years ago.

The Utah theft is the first time he's seen a government victimized.

"Their IT people should have known better," Kessler said after reviewing a copy of the search warrant Thursday. "It sounds like any kid could have done this."
Read More...
Smiley

Iowa: Why Did You Run That Light? "Because It Was Red"


The Des Moines Register
Fri, 13 Feb 2009 11:11 UTC
Asked why he went through an intersection on a red light, a Des Moines man about to be arrested on a third drunken driving charge, allegedly answered, "Because it was red."

Travis Lyle Williams, a 29-year-old construction worker, went through the intersection of Grand and Second Avenues "without hesitation" on a red light shortly before 2 a.m., on Thursday, police said.

He is being held in the Polk County Jail on $5,000 bond.
Read More...
Magic Wand

Dude, where's my truck? Video explains mysterious truck disappearance


NBC
Thu, 12 Feb 2009 18:31 UTC
A California man called police Sunday to report his truck had been stolen while he was inside a convenience store in Laguna Beach.

Police checked the store's security camera hoping to get a glimpse of the thief.

And the videotape solved the mystery.

Read More...
Black Cat

It's Friday the 13th. And that's only the frigga'n beginning

Bruce Newman
Mercury News
Fri, 13 Feb 2009 00:19 UTC
This will come as no surprise to worshippers of the Norse pagan goddess Frigga, but today is Friday the 13th, and people who suffer from a fear of calendrical calamity on this day are known as friggatriskaidekaphobes.

That alone might be a reason to spend the rest of the day in bed, but this Friday the 13th is only the frigga'n beginning of the bad news.

As if the year weren't already off to a painful enough start - with the economy in ruins, post-partisan politics in a post-partum depression, and pitchers and catchers set to report for their first human growth hormone shots of the season - 2009 is shaping up as the unluckiest year in more than a decade. Following February's freaky Friday the 13th comes another one in March. And then again in November!
Read More...
Arrow Down

Florida: Job Seeker Jumps Off Bridge to Boost Resume


Click Orlando
Thu, 12 Feb 2009 22:00 UTC
A Fort Pierce man had himself videotaped jumping off a causeway bridge to get a little more attention for his resume, authorities said.

A police spokeswoman said Christopher Warren Grima, 25, is applying for a six-month job paying $105,000 on the Great Barrier Reef in Australia. She said Wednesday's stunt was supposed to make his application shocking so that his prospective employers would give him a closer look.

Grima told Scripps Treasure Coast Newspapers that he tried to leave quickly, but the police arrived before he could get out of the water. Grima said he wasn't sure about the legality of the jump, which he guessed was at least 40 feet, but he knew he wasn't supposed to do it.
Read More...
Popcorn

Tories admit to Wiki-alteration


BBC News
Wed, 11 Feb 2009 20:44 UTC
Titian - Bacchus and Ariadne
Titian - Bacchus and Ariadne
The Tories have admitted a member of staff altered a Wikipedia entry on the artist Titian after a row between Gordon Brown and David Cameron.

During exchanges at prime minister's questions, the Tory leader mocked Mr Brown for talking of Titian at 90, when he said in fact he had died age 86.

Shortly afterwards a Wikipedia user registered at Conservative HQ moved his date of death forward.

The party admitted an "over-eager" member of staff had been responsible.

Wikipedia is an online encyclopaedia founded in 2001 and based on wikis, which let anyone have access to a web page.

The issue of Titian was raised during prime minister's questions when David Cameron referred to comments made by Mr Brown last month at the World Economic Forum in Davos.
Read More...