Don't Panic! Lighten Up!S


Mr. Potato

Austrian driver's religious headgear strains credulity


BBC.co.uk
Wed, 13 Jul 2011 14:11 UTC
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© Niko AlmHaving received his driving licence, Niko Alm now wants to get pastafarianism officially recognised.
An Austrian atheist has won the right to be shown on his driving-licence photo wearing a pasta strainer as "religious headgear".

Niko Alm first applied for the licence three years ago after reading that headgear was allowed in official pictures only for confessional reasons.

Mr Alm said the sieve was a requirement of his religion, pastafarianism.

The Austrian authorities required him to obtain a doctor's certificate that he was "psychologically fit" to drive.
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Camcorder

Stunning Time-Lapse Video of the Milky Way 'Ocean Sky' Wins Prize

Nadine Bells
Yahoo News
Fri, 08 Jul 2011 00:00 UTC

The Australian night sky has always been awe-inspiring, but this time-lapse video takes the visual splendour of the southern Milky Way to an entirely new level.

Amateur astronomer Alex Cherney spent a year compiling 31 hours of exposure over six nights on Southern Ocean Coast in Australia into "Ocean Sky," the stunning video that took home the overall prize at the STARMUS astrophotography competition.

The STARMUS site says of the winning entry:
"In this compilation see our Galaxy, rising and setting over the turbulent Southern Ocean, connecting the distant stars to that other fascinating interface, the ocean shore. In between the action comes from the scudding clouds and the only evidence of life, coastal shipping and the occasional aircraft darting through the night. Beyond our galaxy, its nearest galactic neighbours, the Magellanic clouds, rise high in the sky, while moonrise suddenly reveals the remarkable landscape of Australia's south coast."
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Smiley

US: Ohio Shop's Gorilla Mascot Attacked by Banana


The Associated Press
Fri, 08 Jul 2011 05:59 UTC
The manager of a cell phone store in Ohio called 911 to report a gorilla had been attacked by a banana.

The Wireless Center in Strongsville, near Cleveland, advertises at curbside with a man in a gorilla suit. Manager Brandon Parham says he was watching last week as a kid dressed as a banana emerged from some bushes and took a flying leap at the store mascot.

Parham says the attacker looked like a Spartan from the movie 300 - except he was a banana.

The gorilla was knocked down but got back up, adjusted his head and went back to work.

WJW-TV reports the banana split - running down the street with other teens.
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Pumpkin

When Zombies Attack! Bristol City Council Ready for Undead Invasion

Steven Morris
The Guardian, UK
Thu, 07 Jul 2011 06:47 UTC
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© Jacek Turczyk/EPAThe undead hit the streets for the Zombie Walk in Warsaw, Poland. Bristol city council has outlined emergency plans for a local attack.
Local authority reveals 'top secret' plan outlining self-defence strategies should zombies invade.

Local authorities routinely have detailed emergency plans for natural disasters such as floods and man-made atrocities including terrorist attacks. But according to a "top secret" plan revealed after a freedom of information request, Bristol city council appears well prepared for a zombie attack.

A Mr P Store contacted the council wondering what plans have been laid down in case the undead invade. Rather than ignoring the request or dismissing it, an officer wrote back - light-heartedly, of course - setting out the best ways to tackle zombies and highlighting areas of the city considered high-risk areas.

Peter Holt, service director of communication and marketing, wrote back to Store: "In response to your request for details of Bristol city council's contingency plans for dealing with zombies, I can now release to you the following strategy document.
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Camera

Canada: Blind Woman Wins National Photo Award

Jason Halstead
Toronto Sun
Tue, 05 Jul 2011 10:04 UTC
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© Tara MillerTara Miller's incredible photo of a lightning over the sunflower field at sunset.
A legally blind Winnipeg photographer has taken top prize in a national photo competition.

Tara Miller, 39, found out Tuesday she has been awarded the grand prize in the Canadian National Institute for the Blind's Eye Remember national photography competition.

Miller's striking photo of lightning over a sunflower field during sunset taken last summer near Starbuck, Man., earned her top spot.

"I was so excited to get home and see what I got and praying that it worked out," she said of the photograph.

The competition was open to all photographers across the country, not solely the visually impaired. Miller was the only entrant of the five who were shortlisted for the grand prize who has sight loss, and the CNIB was unaware of her limited sight until her image was selected for the final five.

Miller has less than 10% of her eyesight due to glaucoma, the disorder the CNIB was raising awareness about with the photo contest.
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Question

Rare 'Zonkey' Born in China


The Telegraph, UK
Tue, 05 Jul 2011 17:29 UTC

The foal, which has the distinctive stripes of a zebra on parts of its body, was just over three feet tall and weighed approximately 4.7 stone when it was born on Sunday.

According to zoo staff, the zebra mated naturally with the donkey after being left free to roam together along with sheep in the same enclosure.

The mother required veterinary help during the birth but has now been returned to graze with her offspring where the pair are on show to visitors.

A zebra-donkey hybrid is also known as zonkey, zebonkey, zebrinny, zebrula, zebrass and zedonk.
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Smiley

Cheeky monkey! Macaque borrows photographer's camera to take hilarious self-portraits


Daily Mail
Tue, 05 Jul 2011 16:03 UTC
To capture the perfect wildlife image, you usually have to be in exactly the right place at precisely the right time.

But in this instance, David Slater wasn't there at all and he still got a result.

Visiting a national park in North Sulawesi, Indonesia, award-winning photographer Mr Slater left his camera unattended for a while.

It soon attracted the attention of an inquisitive female from a local group of crested black macaque monkeys, known for their intelligence and dexterity.

Fascinated by her reflection in the lens, she then somehow managed to start the camera. The upshot: A splendid self-portrait.
Say cheese: The monkeys were intrigued by their reflection in the camera lens
Say cheese: The monkeys were intrigued by their reflection in the camera lens
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Smiley

Ways To Celebrate Your Freedom Like A Rebel

Lois Rain
Activist Post
Mon, 04 Jul 2011 15:31 UTC
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© Activist Post
If we're not laughing, we're crying right? It's hard to find humor when reports constantly assault our psyches by depicting the blatant trampling of our rights.

But being a "rebel" today means different types of battles and fronts than in the days of our founding fathers, although the inspiration is the same. The following are just a few ways you can really live it up this Independence Day.

We want you to add your own in the comments!
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Heart

Elk and safety: Zookeepers stunned as elk rescues drowning marmot from watery death


Daily Mail
Fri, 01 Jul 2011 08:07 UTC
Keepers at Pocatello Zoo, Idaho, were worried when they noticed Shooter, a four-year-old elk, acting strangely at his water trough.

Baffled, they watched as the animal - who is so massive some keepers are afraid to even enter his enclosure - tried to dip his hooves into his drinking trough, before attempting to dunk his whole head in the water.

But they were amazed as 10ft tall Shooter lifted his head from the trough clutching a tiny marmot - a kind of large squirrel - between his jaws.
Mammoth: Shooter the elk stands 10ft tall from his hooves to the tip of his antlers
Mammoth: Shooter the elk stands 10ft tall from his hooves to the tip of his antlers
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Heart - Black

Republicans: Trillions Could Be Cut from Budget if We Eliminate Empathy

Andy Borowitz
Information Clearing House
Thu, 30 Jun 2011 00:00 UTC
Eric Cantor
© wmxdesign/hebiclens@yahoo.comEric Cantor
Humanity Also on Chopping Block

Speaking on behalf of congressional Republicans, House Majority Leader Eric Cantor (R-VA) said today that trillions could be cut from the Federal budget if Congress can agree to eliminate empathy.

"The current budget is bursting at the seams with pet projects that reek of empathy," Rep. Cantor said. "As a nation, we can no longer afford to spend money on people's basic survival needs like a bunch of drunken sailors."

Rep. Cantor noted that "the word 'empathy' comes from the Greek word 'pathos,' meaning 'pathetic' - and that's exactly what helping people is: pathetic."

"We Americans should get out of the habit of using Greek words," he added. "Look where it's gotten the Greeks - straight into bankruptcy."

Once congressional Republicans eliminate such empathy-laden budget items as lunches for poor children, medicine for the indigent and oxygen for seniors, Rep. Cantor said, "We can move from cutting empathy to cutting humanity."
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