Don't Panic! Lighten Up!S


Pumpkin

New World Record Set for Heaviest Pumpkin

Devin Powell
PhysOrg
Fri, 29 Oct 2010 00:00 UTC
giant pumpkin
© David Hu/Georgia Institute of TechnologySuper-sized pumpkins are attracting attention as scientists work with growers to make them even larger.
A new world record was set this month for the heaviest pumpkin ever grown. Taking first place at the Stillwater Harvest Fest in Minnesota -- and beating last year's record by 85 pounds -- this Sasquatch of squashes weighed in at just over 1,810 pounds.

To pumpkin enthusiasts like Chris Stevens of Wisconsin, a contractor who grew this record-breaker, the giant pumpkin is both a work of art and the product of an ever-evolving amateur science.

"There's a tremendous amount of tender loving care that goes into this," said Tim Beeman, who coordinated the 2010 Safeway World Championship Pumpkin Weigh-Off in California's Half Moon Bay. "These guys are like mad scientists."

These super-sized pumpkins have also attracted the attention of university scientists, who are helping growers to better understand how their pumpkins get so large and how to make them even larger.
Read More...
Binoculars

Chinese Forget to Name Street That Leads to Nowhere and Put Up XXX Road Sign


The Telegraph, UK
Thu, 28 Oct 2010 09:40 UTC
Traffic officials in China opened a real life road to nowhere after forgetting to give it a name.

The motorway in the southeastern province of Guangzhou was due to be named in honor of local Communist Party leaders but Town Hall committees couldn't agree which one.

So they marked the plans for the road "XXX" - only to forget it until they saw the road signs going up in both Chinese and English two months later.

"It is very embarrassing but they had to let it go ahead because no one wanted to admit there was an error and have to take the blame for it," said one highway worker.

However three days after photographs of the sign began circulating on the Chinese internet, local authorities finally admitted the mistake and removed the sign.
Read More...
Palette

German Vending Machines Sell Miniature Art in Boxes

Michelle Martin
Reuters
Thu, 28 Oct 2010 14:53 UTC
Vending machine
© David Bloom/QMI Agency filesRemember when vending machines just sold junk food?
An artist who wanted to make art more accessible has installed vending machines across Germany offering unique art miniatures in small boxes.

Lars Kaiser, a 35-year-old artist from Potsdam, said he came up with the novel idea to give art lovers the chance to buy the inexpensive art samples from vending machines around the clock.

He has installed about 100 of the uniquely decorated art vending machines in public buildings, bars and on exterior walls throughout Germany. The refurbished vending machines once sold cigarettes, chewing gum or condoms in the 1960s and 1970s.
Read More...
Bulb

Nine outlandish but practical rules for better elections

Joe Blundo
The Columbus Dispatch
Wed, 27 Oct 2010 18:38 UTC
As we near the end of another political campaign season, I'd like to propose nine simple rules for the next time:

- Rule 1: Anyone who wants to run for public office will be automatically disqualified from doing so. The existing process has simply grown too absurd for anyone of sound judgment to participate.
Read More...
Binoculars

US: "Zombies" Invade New York City During Morning Rush-Hour

Deepti Hajela
The Associated Press
Tue, 26 Oct 2010 20:39 UTC
Image
© AP Photo/Seth WenigCostumed actors, promoting the Halloween premiere of the AMC television series The Walking Dead, shamble along the Brooklyn Bridge while posing for pictures in New York, Tuesday, Oct. 26, 2010.
As if the morning commute wasn't odd enough, intrepid New Yorkers trying to make their way to work on Tuesday had to battle past hordes of the walking dead. Two dozen zombies, their clothes spattered with fake blood, were staggering up and down the block outside Madison Square Garden. Downtown, others shuffled across the Brooklyn Bridge.

Some pedestrians looked startled or amused by the ghost-white actors with bruised-looking eyes. Some people ignored them entirely. Others whipped out their cell phone cameras.

Horror movie fan Linda Emery was thrilled to see the creatures.

"I'm into zombies, anything with zombies," said the 58-year-old home care provider from Brooklyn. It made a change from her usual commute.

"You see a lot of stuff, but not this stuff," she said.
Read More...
USA

Satire: American Public Actually Kind Of Endearing In Some Ways


The Onion
Mon, 25 Oct 2010 21:09 UTC
Americans
© The OnionNew research on Americans, above, indicates they can actually be little bit charming sometimes.
Albuquerque, NM - According to an extensive 18-month study published by researchers at the University of New Mexico this week, Americans, despite their embarrassing behavior, general ineptitude, and countless other negative traits, are actually kind of endearing in some ways.

"Our initial data showed that Americans are impulsive and tend toward willful ignorance - findings that are consistent with past research," said Professor Spencer Dixon, who led the study on U.S. culture and society. "But what we were surprised and, honestly, a little delighted to find is that Americans' short attention spans, simplemindedness, and inability to articulate a coherent idea can actually make them pretty lovable."

"It's hard to describe," Dixon continued. "It's just all these little quirks they have. And after a month or two of observation, they kind of start to grow on you."

After thousands of interviews with citizens from every socioeconomic, racial, and ethnic background, the UNM researchers discovered that despite the tendency of many Americans to do the loudest, dumbest thing possible at any given moment, the populace is "in the end, pretty hard not to like" and in many instances "sort of charming, frankly."
Read More...
Book

Virginia, US: Library Book Returned to College 35 Years Late


The Associated Press
Sat, 23 Oct 2010 10:24 UTC
A novel checked out in 1975 from the College of William & Mary library is back in the stacks.

The long-term lender is alumnus Pat Harkin, who found the book of Leon Uris' QB VII in a box. He says he planned to return it for the past several homecomings, but he finally made good on his intentions Friday.

The library caps its fees at $35. Otherwise, the overdue fee could have hit $1,400 at today's dime-a-day late fee.

To atone for his late return, Harkin told the Daily Press of Newport News he made a cash donation to the library.
Read More...
Smiley

Taiwanese Bride Bemoans Lack of Men and Marries Herself


Myfoxorlando.com
Fri, 22 Oct 2010 14:31 UTC
A Taiwanese woman left uninspired by the standard of men on offer in her city will finally tie the knot -- with herself, Shanghai Daily reported early Saturday.

Chen Wei-yih has bought a flowing white bridal grown, planned a lavish reception and even hired a wedding photographer to mark her unusual matrimony, which takes place next month.

Lonely Chen, 30, told local media she was urged to wed by friends and loved ones but could not find a decent husband in Taipei, Taiwan's largest city.

The solo marriage will not be recognized in law but Chen has the backing of her family.

"My work and experience are in good shape, but I haven't found a partner, so what can I do?" she sighed.
Read More...
Smiley

Colbert: Palin & O'Donnell, So Informed!


Colbert Report
Thu, 14 Oct 2010 00:00 UTC
Stephen concludes that masturbating equals being gay by following Christine O'Donnell's ironclad logic. (03:49)

Read More...
Smiley

Space Race: An interview with Jonathon Keats


Telegraph.co.uk
Fri, 22 Oct 2010 12:19 UTC
Image
Jonathon Keats is an experimental philosopher. That means he spends his days choreographing ballets for honeybees, or attempting to genetically engineer God in a petri dish, or engaging in countless other activities that seem pointless on the surface but provoke people to think. Like them or not, his projects - as often situated in laboratories as in galleries or museums - always inspire conversation. His latest venture is in San Francisco, and beats NASA to the asteroid...

Q: What's with the potted cactus plants?

A: They're actually astronauts. These pictures show them exploring an asteroid. Around six months ago, the space program here in the United States was completely overhauled because landing a rocket on the Moon turned out to be expensive.

Since I don't have patience for politics, I decided to start my own alternative space agency. My resources are pretty limited, which meant that rockets were out of the question, but one of the nice things about asteroids is that occasionally they do the long-distance space travel for us, and chunks fall to Earth as meteorites. That's the whole basis of my space program. I took an ordinary chondrite meteorite and smashed it with a hammer, and then I planted these two cacti in the rubble since cacti sometimes grow in rocky soil. They lived on the asteroid isolated under a bell jar for twenty-one days, exploring the alien terrain by osmosis. The total cost was around $25, plus $2.99 each for the cacti. The last I heard, President Obama and NASA are still quibbling about the agency's $18 billion budget.
Read More...