Don't Panic! Lighten Up!S


Wolf

US: State police find $410,900 in traffic stop

State police with dogs patrolling returning Thanksgiving traffic over the weekend discovered stuffing of a different sort after they stopped a sport utility vehicle on the Massachusetts Turnpike.

The troopers and their canine partners sniffed out a suspicious bounty in the rear cargo area of a 2005 Honda Pilot with Louisiana plates - $410,900 in a hidden compartment under the vehicle's third row of seats, according to state police.

Police are investigating the driver, a 31-year-old Manchester, New Hampshire, man, and the source of the money.

Wine

Politicians may have to take breath test

Canberra - Politicians in Australia's most populous state could be breath-tested for alcohol before voting on laws after a series of late-night incidents that have embarrassed the center-left government.

New South Wales state lawmaker Andrew Fraser resigned from his conservative opposition frontbench role after shoving a female colleague in the wake of Christmas party celebrations.

"Breath test this mob," said a front page headline in Sydney's mass-selling Daily Telegraph newspaper. State police minister Matt Brown was dumped from his portfolio in September after allegedly "dirty" dancing in his underwear over the chest of a female colleague after a drunken post-budget office party.

Smiley

Tortoise still a Lothario at age 176

Image
© Daily MailImage of Jonothan taken over 100 years ago.
Amestown, Saint Helena -- Jonathan, a 176-year-old tortoise living on the British territory of St. Helena, routinely mates with three young female tortoises, officials say.

A St. Helena tourist board spokesman said Jonathan is an active animal senior, The Sun said Thursday.

"He lives in the grounds of Plantation House -- the governor's residence -- with five much younger tortoises, including three females," the spokesman said, referring to the Jamestown site where Jonathan resides.

Smiley

Man throws Christmas tree at his father

Police in Parrish, Florida arrested a 37-year-old man for allegedly throwing a christmas tree at his father.

Authorities say Thomas Edward Lackie has been charged with felony assault for using a 3-foot-tall Christmas tree as a weapon, the Sarasota (Fla.) Herald-Tribune reports.

The arrest record alleges that Lackie tried to strike his father with the steel tree base after he missed hitting him with the tree.

Mr. Potato

Sara the Saxophone-Playing Walrus

Sara Walrus playing Saxaphone
© ReutersSara, perhaps the most talented walrus ever to grace a Turkish zoo, performs a saxophone recital at the Dophinarium in Istanbul on Dec. 4, 2008.

Toys

Santa gets the heave-ho-ho-ho

Oberlin - Conceptual artist Keith McGuckin kills off Santa Claus in his latest holiday display at the Oberlin Public Library. McGuckin, of Wellington, is known for his controversial holiday displays, which have included a drug-smuggling elf, a crystal meth Christmas and Nazi gingerbread men.

Light Saber

US: Man uses candy cane to subdue attacker with knife

Sacramento, Calif. - A man using a candy cane lawn ornament fended off a knife-wielding neighbor who had been attacking holiday guests at a Sacramento home. Police spokesman Sgt. Norm Leong said the man used the two-foot-tall plastic ornament to subdue the attacker until officers arrived.

He said the 49-year-old suspect became intoxicated, went over to a neighbor's home on Thanksgiving and began waving a kitchen knife at people gathered on the lawn.

Smiley

Cognitive dissonance

fail owned pwned pictures

Heart

UK: Stop calling patients 'dearie', nurses told

Calling older patients "dearie" or "love" is set to be ruled out as offensive by new guidelines from the Nursing and Midwifery Council. Nurses should speak "courteously and respectfully" and use patients' preferred names, the NMC recommends.

But terms of endearment can be used in some areas if they are part of everyday speech - it may appear unusual if they are omitted, the draft guidance says. The Conservatives said the guidance was "ridiculous".

Wine

Satire: Study Finds Link Between Red Wine, Letting Mother Know What You Really Think

CHICAGO - Health experts have long known that drinking red wine can have such positive benefits as reducing blood vessel damage, lowering the risk of heart attack, and preventing harmful LDL cholesterol from forming. But researchers at the Northwestern University Department of Preventive Medicine have recently found that the consumption of four to six glasses of red wine, most notably at dinner or a family function, may be linked to totally going off on one's mom.