Funny. This ridiculing of hardline German media propaganda against Russia has gone completely mainstream in Germany. Very well done, it comes from a very popular German language news satire website called
The Global Morning Post Observer. It's full of similar stuff.
This article originally appeared at Allgemeine Morgenpost Rundschau (The Global Morning Post Observer)
Translated by Tom Winter at Fort Russ.Our sparrows are not singing from the rooftops, for the sparrows are frozen solid. The Russian president once again is dealing his devilish game in Deutschland.
Instead of springtime here in Germany, we have to undergo sleet and ice storms, such as never before have greeted the month of April. Whether it is an April Fool, or a serious provocation of Russian president Vladimir Putin awaits further investigation.
Vladimir Putin already possesses an array of fiendish weaponry, a
cloak-tank, which annihilates every trace of its existence, a Klingon cloaking device, rockets that actually work, and several others. Yet, whether he can achieve a breakout of winter weather here in spring, has the experts puzzled.
Only thing known for sure, is that it is Putin's fault.Yet, how is it possible to manage such manipulation of the weather? Is Putin able, through nozzles secretly positioned in Russia, to shift the orbit, and cool the world? Has Putin caged the earth in satellites that hold us in a heat-reflecting force-field? Has Putin got the capability of regulating the solar temperatures with thermonuclear disruption-generators? Or is he manipulating the gravitational field of the Milky Way, in order to freeze Germany?
Putin's air tankers serenely covering Germany with chemtrails.
A further theory, and one advanced by the leading experts, is that Putin is spreading chemtrails, using military refueling planes to manipulate the weather with nano-particles of aluminum. This
technology was pioneered by the US during the Viet Nam War, and has doubtless been developed and perfected to the point that it can be used over Germany.
This theory would explain why Jörg Kachelmann [one of Germany's leading weather forecasters] has turned into a chemtrail theory hater since the courts found him "not guilty" on that rape charge:
Putin blackmailed him so he would sternly decry every mention of "chemtrails" as the price of his freedom. Even so, experts speculate "Did Ben Weatherbird* have to die so that Putin's chemtrail plans could stay hidden?"
One thing, at least, is clear: it is too cold for spring. Experts explain that
it's long past the time when pretty women should be jogging through the parks in airy revealing garb or in their spandex tights. How long must we wait, the experts are asking. We shiver, and wonder: How long are the Russians going keep on hitting us with this stunt?
April has come but spring is lagging behind in İstanbul. It is freezing cold outside, it could snow any time soon. I cannot plant my eggplants in the garden yet.
But I don't blame Putin. Something is wrong with the sun.
Even the Brits have figured it out. The other day I was watching BBC knowledge and they wondered how in the world was that island of theirs was freezing cold winter after winter in a globally scorching hot world. And they found out that the sun was eerily quiet.