According to psychological research, though, these statements don't work for everyone and, for some, may even backfire (Wood et al., 2009).
Canadian psychologist Joanne V. Wood and colleagues decided to test the effects of what they term 'positive self-statements'.
First they wanted to see how many people used these kinds of statements.
A survey of 249 undergraduates showed that the majority used them from time-to-time and even more frequently during stressful period, like before exams.
Next, the researchers wanted to see what kind of effect these self-statements had on people's self-esteem.
Participants were asked to repeat "I am a lovable person," and their self-esteem was measured before and afterwards.
Those who already had high self-esteem did indeed feel better about themselves: it seems that they believed the statement.
A blow to self-esteem
But for those with low self-esteem, the statement backfired, causing their self-esteem to decrease.
This probably happens because the mind is not that easily tricked.
When a person with low self-esteem tries to tell themselves that they are a lovable person, however true it may be they may experience more contradictory thoughts, which end up making them feel worse.
The study's authors conclude:
"Injunctions to ''think positively'' are pervasive in North America.They finish with a warning:
Self-help books, television shows, and loved ones advise thinking positively when one faces a challenge or is unhappy.
Yet the present results suggest that for certain people, positive self-statements may be not only ineffective, but actually detrimental." (Wood et al., 2009).
"...outlandish, unreasonably positive self-statements, such as ''I accept myself completely,'' are often encouraged by self-help books.The findings echo those from a recent study which found that positive thinking can be harmful for some people.
Our results suggest that such self-statements may harm the very people they are designed for: people low in self-esteem."
Instead, try practicing a little self-acceptance and self-compassion.
Reader Comments
Sometimes, 'Kill the beast', means quite literally, 'Kill the beast.'
For example, let's say you're a woman and you're married to a wife-beater. In fact, you're being beaten to death, quite literally in fact, right at this very moment. You are about to die. To say to yourself, at this very moment, 'I am lovable', is somewhat laughable and sad. Perhaps you should take that knife that's laying there, reachable if you stretch for it, and stab the bastard and kill him.
Or of course, you could reach for that -uhh- 'self-help book' and sweetly call, 'Time-out dearie, while we discuss this little problem we're having. Here, let's read this book together, shall we? Wouldn't that be nice?'
He's not having a problem. At least not the same problem as yours.
Kill the beast. Are you afraid?
DUH.
ned
"The scientists have discovered the effect of cognitive dissonance."
or
"Why wishful thinking may not be as efficient as you might think."
Back in the '80s, I went along to a series of happy-hippy type 'how to live and love' sessions with a local 'guru'.
His big thing was 'ALL expressions are expressions of love. You just have to see the other person's behavior as motivated by love, then everything will be fine. You'll love whatever his/her behavior is then.' (Something to do with some other 'guru' called Ron Smothermon, IIRC).
This 'everything is love' stuff even extended to being murdered and interpreting your murderer as loving you.
I mean, what total bollocks! Cognitive dissonance or what! Talk about psychopathic mind control!
But then, it's up there with the '80s women's self-defence class I went to - once, because the female teacher told the group NOT to hurt your attacker....jeeez.
The mind-control merchants must have been out in force in those days. Shame we're still suffering from the dregs of that think-positive bilge.