Mentors offer grades 7 and 8 students advice to boost self-esteem, stay safe

Adults may be surprised to hear what grade 7 and 8 girls have on their minds.

When should I become sexually active? What do I do if my boyfriend thinks I'm fat? What should I do if a guy asked me out, but I'm a lesbian?

These were some of the questions posed by a group of girls at the YWCA of Sudbury's Power of Being a Girl Workshop at Lively District Secondary School on Tuesday. The female grade 7 and 8 students from Lively's feeder elementary schools had a chance to anonymously write down questions and get answers from high school girls.

Carly Mackevicius, 15, was one of the mentors. Mackevicius was asked a question by one of the younger girls, whose boyfriend wanted to have sex. The girl said she thought she might be too young to lose her virginity, but didn't know what to do.

"She obviously has a little bit of doubt," Mackevicius said. Her advice: "You should wait. You need to be totally sure." Mackevicius also cautioned the students about the risk of sexually transmitted diseases and pregnancy.

Giving young girls a chance to ask anything they wanted without the embarrassment was one of several exercises at the workshop.

The daylong conference uses peer mentors to bring relevance to the discussions, so younger girls can benefit from the first-hand experience of high school students.

"The purpose is to bring grade 7 and 8 girls together in a safe environment so that they can start to think about the ways that they can care for themselves," said Ginette Demers, YWCA manager.

"We also wanted to create this environment so that they felt empowered to make those difficult decisions that are coming."

The girls are in the midst of puberty and will soon enter high school.

"We feel it's really important to target grade 7 and 8 girls because they are very impressionable at this age," Demers said.

"I hope they leave feeling more empowered and thinking more about the ways that they are unique," Demers said.

"We've really been focusing on the idea that you can cultivate a healthy relationship with yourself, but it starts with acceptance and not measuring yourself up against someone like Paris Hilton."

Activities at the conference focused on issues such as healthy relationships, self-esteem and body image.

For example, the girls discussed images of women in popular culture, which young teens often try to emulate.

"That's not what a girl should really be," said 13-year-old Quinn Towns, a Grade 8 student at Jessie Hamilton, who thought the conference was a great experience.

"It was really interesting. I got to interact with a lot of my friends so we could discuss things," she said.

Towns said she learned about self-esteem and the importance of expressing herself to her friends. The conference was a great way to get ready for high school, she added.

"It's a big step. You need to have confidence," she said.

Mentor Allanah O'Brien, 16, said the move to high school is a big transition, especially for girls.

"I hope they have reassurance about just being a girl and that they feel comfortable coming to high school," O'Brien said. The grade 7s and 8s seemed to enjoy the experience.

"I thought it was positive and upbeat. It got the girls interacting with each other," O'Brien said.

One of the underlying objectives was also to prevent violence against women, Demers said.

"We talk about the different forms of abuse, the ways you can be hurt and what you can do about it," she said. "We also presented them with some strategies on maintaining healthy relationships and the qualities to look for."

The conference, first launched in 2006, will make a stop at Marymount Academy today and Lo-Ellen Park Secondary School on Friday.